SAINT?

broken

Saint

I watched Madam leave the room , the door shut quietly with a slight click leaving me in silence alone, now ready to see the damage in three days that I should fix .

For the first time since the incident I moved to the mirror soo clean and clear showing me my reflection my right eye blood shot red from the slap Liz gave me and a handprint of my cheek , my face looked like a violence canvas my cheek swollen with reddish bruises outlined on my forehead and my left eye has a black eye and my neck was still swollen from Madams slap .

I wanted to feel my bruises cause I didn't understand why I've not been in pain. I grazed my fingers on my swollen cheek and that is when the pain hit searing from my cheek down to my neck sharp and distinct that made me gasp , I stumbled back sitting on the edge of the bed as everything started to ache the numbness is washed of adrenaline drained I fell back on the bed trying to keep cool.

You can't be weak now Saint

"It hurts damn it" I cursed hissing from the Pain that was starting to spread and my throat formed a lump I started to shake with my eyes hurting even more from the tears stinging and threatening to fall they should not fall damn it

I felt every like a heavy blanket , every betrayal, lies , scars and the flashbacks of what happened the unkindness of madam all came rushing , I couldn't thug it no more , I hate crying more than anything but I can't help and the more i cry the more my eye sting and i can't stop , I am crying over people I shouldn't have trusted , over me been looked at as weak by Madam.

Quit embarrassing

I picked a pillow and buried my face innit to stifle my cries that are growing louder and uglier cause even the walls can't see this epic fail, the more I'm crying the more I'm feeling pain on my face

  " Please stop crying. Get it together, let's get ice and fix this okay saint ." I soothed myself while I balled and held myself tightly , but I started back again crying

  " Okay saint let's scream once just once okay " I talked to myself as I felt a lump getting heavier on my throat then I let out a throat distracting scream someone will definitely come to check I thought as I laughed through my cries and pain that is definitely not going away I'm sore and everything hurts.

Just then my door creaked open soft but unmistakable, I sat up facing the window and started wiping my tears trying to compose myself before I turned, when I saw Madam standing there leaned at the door frame staring at me intensely at my attempts to compose myself without saying anything before she chuckled

   " You done ? " She asked her voice cold

I didn't answer rather I just looked at her trying to look confident while trying to read her face which is impossible ,I felt like she wanted to laugh at me or maybe hug me that would be nice but i can't tell

" Sweet girl you think I'm an idiot? " Madam asked me stepping into the room further in coming towards me

" you think I didn't see this coming I've seen this before alot of my whores break but yours is interesting to watch "

I started getting angry at her comment, this woman is sick , my heart started pounding soo hard almost out of my chest then I sat up trying to control myself from saying shit that will put me in more trouble.

silence is control saint

I just loudly swallowed my lump that was stuck in my throat

   " Your audacity should be studied but I like " she said pulling a stool to sit Infront of me

  " Saint. I .think.i .asked.you.a question" she gritted suddenly standing up and throwing the stool across the room , startling me making me move in the bed burying my face in the pillow crying loudly and ugly as my eyes stang once more with my tears blurring my vision

Madam sighed, like she was dealing with a child who just didn’t get it. "You think I gave you that room out of the goodness of my heart?" She moved closer, standing over me . "I did it because I need you to remember that you're mine. You don’t get to break down like this without me knowing. You don’t get to cry without me seeing it.And you don't get to plan an exit without me knowing"

This statement made me scared shitless

Madam crouched Infront of me with a sick smile, as she reached out and tilted my chin up , forcing me to meet her gaze. I flinched but didn’t pull away.

“You’re stronger than this,” Madam whispered, her voice soft now, almost tender. "But if you don’t want to be, that’s cool. I’ll break you down to toughen you. And you’ll still be mine.you choose street life."

At this point she won I can't fight back , my plan is screwed.

Madam looked at me again this time her gaze was softer she sucked her thumbed and brushed the moisture on my dry lips soo tender like she didn't want to hurt me had me confused after that conversation.

Madam searched her pocket for something only to reveal vaseline that she gently applied on my lips , I'm confused I don't know what's happening still no saying a word and I know not to ask

   " You are wondering why ? " She asked knowing I wouldn't talk

    " You are shaking"

She leaned closer grazing her lips and mine while staring at me , for a minute I forgot I was crying and started to get hot  before she kissed the bottom of my lower lip making my swollen eyes pop in pain . Then she did it again on my lip laughing at my reaction my heart was racing

Her touch is soo brief and gentle I'm confused

   " You need help saint " she commented while moving away

" Three days "Madam told me her tone shifting to cold as she went to towards the door " get it together". And that is how she left my room

I'm still holding my lips not believing Madam kissed me