☆ gone | chuuves ★

23

Yves' Pov

I jolt awake, gasping for air. The room is dark, but not the suffocating darkness of the basement. The faint moonlight seeps through the curtains, casting a pale glow on the walls. I'm not in the basement anymore, I remind myself. I'm at Chuu's house. I'm safe.

But my heart doesn't care. It's hammering against my chest, hard and fast, like I'm still running, like I'm still trying to escape. My lungs burn, and my fingers claw at the blankets, desperate to ground myself, to find something real.

It was just a dream. It wasn't real.

Except, it felt real. Too real. The cold, the chains, the darkness pressing in on all sides. Suga's father standing over me, his eyes dark and pitiless. The sound of the door slamming shut, locking me away again.

I choke on a sob as I push the blankets off me, my body shaking uncontrollably. I need air. I need to breathe, but the room feels too small, too tight. My chest tightens, and I can't seem to fill my lungs no matter how hard I try.

It's happening again.

I need to get out.

My bare feet hit the floor, cold against the hardwood, but I don't care. I stumble to the window, pushing it open in a desperate attempt to get some fresh air. The cool night breeze brushes against my skin, but it doesn't help. Nothing helps.

The panic has me now.

The room is spinning. I can't breathe. I can't—

Suddenly, the door creaks open, and a small beam of light from the hallway spills into the room. Chuu.

"Yves?" her voice is soft, still thick with sleep. "Are you okay?"

I try to answer, but no words come out. My throat feels like it's closing, and all I can do is stand there, trembling by the window, tears streaming down my face.

Chuu crosses the room in an instant, her expression shifting from confusion to concern. She reaches out to touch my arm gently. "Hey, hey... it's okay. You're safe. Breathe, Yves. Just breathe."

But I can't. I shake my head, my breaths coming in sharp, ragged gasps. I feel like I'm drowning in my own body, trapped in this endless panic. My vision blurs, and I collapse to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest.

Chuu kneels beside me, her hand steady on my shoulder. "Look at me, Yves. You're not there anymore. You're here. With me."

Her voice cuts through the haze of terror clouding my mind, and I force myself to look at her. She's right in front of me, her eyes wide with worry, but filled with so much warmth, so much love.

"I-I can't... I can't breathe," I manage to choke out between sobs.

"Yes, you can," she says softly but firmly, her hand now rubbing slow circles on my back. "You can. Breathe with me, okay? Just... follow my breathing."

She takes in a deep breath, slowly, and exhales just as slowly. I try to mimic her, but my chest still feels like it's being crushed from the inside. But Chuu stays with me, repeating the breaths over and over, her hand never leaving my back.

Gradually, the panic starts to loosen its grip. My heart is still racing, but the crushing tightness in my chest begins to ease. I take in a shaky breath and let it out, still trembling, but more in control now. Chuu's presence feels like the only thing keeping me tethered to the present.

"There you go," she whispers. "You're doing great."

I nod weakly, tears still spilling down my cheeks, but the suffocating terror has passed. I lean into Chuu, letting her support me as I try to gather myself.

For a few moments, we sit like that—Chuu's arm around me, the night air cooling my skin. I feel fragile, like I could break apart at any moment. But Chuu holds me together.

"I'm sorry," I finally whisper, my voice hoarse from crying.

Chuu pulls back slightly, frowning. "Sorry? For what?"

"For... this," I say, wiping at my face. "For waking you up. For being... a mess."

She shakes her head, her eyes soft and kind. "Don't apologize. You're not a mess, Yves. You're going through something that no one should ever have to go through."

I swallow hard, looking down at my hands. "It just feels like... like it'll never end."

"It will," Chuu says, her voice steady. "It's going to take time, but you'll get through this. And I'll be here with you. Every step of the way."

I look up at her, and for a moment, I don't know what to say. Her words are exactly what I need to hear, but they also feel too good to believe. How can she be so sure?

"I don't know how to live like this," I admit, my voice cracking. "I don't know how to be normal anymore."

Chuu's expression softens even more. "Who says you have to be normal? You've been through hell, Yves. There's no 'normal' after that. There's just... healing. And it's messy. But you don't have to do it alone."

The tears start again, but this time they're different. I lean into her, letting myself cry against her shoulder as she holds me tightly.

For the first time in a long time, I feel... safe.