My Rockstar Baby Daddy

Chapter 17 Thoughts

POV: Sapphire

The meeting with Hayden didn't go quite as I expected it to go. I felt like a child to him. He's 30 years old. That's crazy. What is wrong with me? 

I half expected him to deny this child. I wasn't expecting the other stuff. When I get another break I fully plan on deep diving into Google about him. Can he really be that famous? Having a rockstar baby daddy is the last thing I want. I love music but I could never go for that type of life.

I don't listen to modern music much. I like the classics which is why I've never heard of his band. There are some current artists I love to listen to but mostly I always go back to the classics. They have a more simple sound. 

I meant when I told Hayden I expected nothing from him which is why I was surprised when he said he wanted to be in this child's life once he believed me. I'm fully expecting him to ask for a DNA test later though. I guess if I were in his position I'd be skeptical too. 

Seeing Hayden today has brought up some feelings I wasn't expecting. Sure I've thought about him since that night. I even had certain dreams about him. There's just something about him that draws me in wanting more. He was as hot as the night I first met him. 

Hayden was nothing like Josh. I've never been kissed like that before. He sent me to the stars and the moon. Hayden is so much taller than Josh. Josh may have been on the football team but Hayden had more of a build to him. He challenged me where as Josh never did that. I felt like any decision I would make he would debate it to be sure it was the right one. Josh never did that. He was always so supportive and sweet. I feel like I will be comparing every guy I'm with from now on with Josh. I guess that's because you never forget your first love. Josh will always be my first love no matter how much he hurt me.

"Sapphire, can you clean the tables, please?" Lucy asks. "Sure thing," I answer her shaking from my thoughts. Lucy has been on the phone for the past hour with her son. She's been pointing things out for me to do while she's on the phone. 

Lucy doesn't get to see or hear from her son as often as she'd like. You can bet when he does call Lucy won't miss the opportunity. She will drop everything to talk to him. 

"You are?! Oh, I can't wait!" Lucy squeals suddenly in excitement. "Sapphire, Lee wants to know if you will be coming for Christmas this year?" Lucy asks me. "Yes, I will be there," I promise. Last year I had Christmas dinner at Lucy's house. Lee, her son unfortunately was unable to make it home for Christmas last year.

"Lee, she said she will be there." Lucy relays to Lee. I wonder why Lee wants to know if I will be there. "Sapphire, what is your favorite cake flavor?" Lucy asks another question. "Lucy, what is going on? Why does he want to know so much about me?" I ask. "Lee is coming to visit for three weeks with his wife and kids. I will have my family here for Christmas. Kelly wants to bake a cake for you as a gift. So what cake do you want?" Lucy explains excitedly. I chuckle at her enthusiasm. It's rare that I see her like this.

"Uh, I guess I'd have to say my favorite is German Chocolate," I answer. I think the baby agrees because I have a sudden craving for it now. Damn, what am I going to do about these cravings? It's not like I can just fork up the money to indulge in my every craving. This will truly be a test of my willpower. 

To satisfy my craving I make some chocolate milk with coconut milk and walnut syrup. It's not bad but it didn't satisfy the craving. I'm screwed. I'll just have to wait. "Sapphire, start shutting the machines down for closing. I will handle the register and the rest of the closing." Lucy says. Is it five already? 

I get right on the machines. I turn them off and clean them up. After I finish with that I change into my work shirt for the bar in the bathroom. I start performing tonight. Levi wants me to perform one of my original songs. He's fine if I do covers but he wants to hear some originals thrown into the mix. I'm dreading it. My songs are so personal. They're like a diary to me and I'm just supposed to pour my heart and soul out to a bunch of strangers. I'm not sure if I can do this.