Enchanted Shadows

Chapter 22 - Healing Wounds

POV: Maya

They said I needed time to heal, to recover from what Loki had done to me. They didn't understand that it wasn't just what he did-it was what he showed me. Natasha stayed by my side, trying to help me piece myself back together, but I kept the deepest wounds hidden. I couldn't tell her that I still heard him, that his voice lingered in my mind like a haunting melody. They would never understand the part of me that still craved him.

---

The doctors and psychologists at SHIELD had their routines. They asked the same questions in different ways, probing my mind for answers I didn't want to give. "How do you feel today, Maya?" they would ask, their pens poised over their notepads, waiting for me to say something profound, something that would make sense of it all.

"I feel... fine," I would reply, the word tasting foreign on my tongue. It was a lie, of course. I wasn't fine. I was a battlefield of emotions, a war zone where guilt and longing clashed endlessly. But it was easier to lie than to explain the truth.

"You have to confront what happened," one of the therapists said one day, leaning forward with a look of concern. "You have to acknowledge his influence to move past it."

"I am acknowledging it," I insisted, crossing my arms defensively. "He used me, manipulated me. I know that."

"Do you?" the therapist pressed, her eyes searching mine. "Because it seems like part of you is still holding on."

I fell silent, my gaze dropping to the floor. Of course, part of me was still holding on. How could I let go when the very thought of him filled the void inside me that nothing else could?

---

Natasha never left my side. She was there for every session, every sleepless night when I woke up gasping for breath, his name on my lips. She would hold me, whispering that it was just a dream, that he wasn't real. But how could I explain that in those moments, the dream was the only reality I wanted?

One evening, as we sat in silence, the TV flickering images of some mundane news report we weren't really watching, Natasha finally spoke. "Maya, you know you can talk to me, right? About anything."

I stared at the screen, not daring to look at her. "I know."

"Then why do I feel like you're shutting me out?" Her voice was pained, and I could feel her eyes on me, searching for a crack in the wall I had built.

"Because you won't understand," I murmured.

"Try me," she urged gently. "Just... try."

I took a deep breath, my fingers digging into the armrest. "It's not just what he did," I began, my voice trembling. "It's what he showed me. It's what I felt when I was with him."

Natasha's hand found mine, squeezing it tightly. "Maya, he manipulated your feelings. He made you believe in a reality that wasn't true."

"Wasn't it?" I shot back, finally meeting her gaze. "He made me feel seen, Nat. For the first time, I wasn't just your shadow. I was... someone."

Natasha's eyes softened, a tear slipping down her cheek. "You were always someone," she whispered. "He made you doubt that because that's what he does. He finds the cracks and tears them wide open."

"But what if those cracks were always there?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper. "What if I wanted him to tear them open?"

"Then we'll heal them together," Natasha replied firmly. "But not by clinging to the person who exploited them."

---

The days blurred into nights, and I went through the motions of healing because that was what they expected of me. But in the quiet moments, when I was alone with my thoughts, I still felt his presence. Loki was like a phantom in my mind, his voice whispering to me in the dark, telling me that they were the ones who didn't understand.

"Do you really think they can help you?" His voice was a cold caress against my thoughts, sending shivers down my spine. "They want to fix you, to mold you back into their image."

"No," I whispered, closing my eyes, trying to shut him out. "They care about me."

"Do they?" he countered smoothly. "Or do they care about what you represent? The broken soldier they can mend and use again?"

A tear slipped down my cheek. "Stop it."

"You miss me," he continued, ignoring my plea. "You miss the freedom I gave you, the power I helped you find."

"It was an illusion," I argued, my voice trembling.

"Was it?" he purred. "Or was it the only truth you've ever known?"

Natasha's voice broke through the haze, calling my name from the hallway. I quickly wiped my tears, plastering on a neutral expression as she entered the room.

"Hey," she said softly, sitting beside me. "I thought we could go for a walk, get some fresh air."

I nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, that sounds good."

But as we walked through the facility's corridors, I couldn't help but feel the emptiness growing inside me. No matter how much I tried to fill it with Natasha's words, with the support of SHIELD, the void remained, whispering of the darkness that once filled it.