Patience Heart

The Doubt

Adam's POV

The fourth day of our trip to San Francisco has arrived, and despite the city's stunning sights and the change of scenery, something feels profoundly wrong. Karina and I have been to some fantastic places—explored landmarks, sampled delicious food, and tried to immerse ourselves in the experience. But the excitement is starting to wear thin, and I can't shake the nagging feeling that something's amiss.

Karina and I are supposed to be enjoying this time together, but it feels like we're drifting further apart. She's been glued to her phone, frequently checking messages or taking calls with a hushed voice when she thinks I'm not listening. I've overheard snippets of conversations—something about "I'll tell him later" and "Don't worry, but it will take time." Each time I hear it, my heart sinks a little more.

Despite being on leave, I keep receiving work calls. This trip was supposed to be a break, a chance to escape the grind, but my phone seems to think otherwise. Every time it rings, I feel a mix of frustration and helplessness. I'm supposed to be focusing on Karina and our relationship, not dealing with work issues. It's like a constant reminder that my attempt to leave everything behind hasn't really worked.

I glance at Karina, who's engrossed in her phone again, her face illuminated by the screen. I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy and confusion. She's physically here, but mentally, she's somewhere else. It's as if there's a barrier between us, one that neither of us can seem to cross. I've tried to make the most of this trip, to create moments where we can reconnect, but every time I think we're making progress, something else pulls us apart.

I overthink everything. Was this trip a mistake? Did I misjudge our relationship? I wanted so badly for this to work, to find a way to make things right between us. I thought that by dedicating this time to us, we might find a way to bridge the gap that's grown between us. But now I'm beginning to wonder if we're just grasping at straws, trying to fix something that might be beyond repair.

Karina finally puts her phone away and joins me at a small café we decided to visit. The place has a cozy atmosphere, the kind of spot where you can sit for hours and talk about life. I want to use this opportunity to address what's been bothering me, to try and understand what's really going on with her.

"Karina, can we talk for a minute?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Sure," she replies, looking up from her coffee with a forced smile. "What's up?"

I take a deep breath, trying to articulate the storm of thoughts in my mind. "I've noticed you've been on your phone a lot, and I keep getting work calls. It feels like we're not really here together. Is something going on?"

Karina's expression shifts slightly, a hint of discomfort flickering across her face. "Adam, it's just work stuff. I have to keep up with things even when we're away. And I've been catching up with some friends and family. It's nothing serious."

I can tell there's more to it, but she's clearly not ready to open up. I want to push further, to get to the bottom of this, but I also don't want to make things worse. "I just feel like we're not connecting. I thought this trip would help us get back on track, but it's like we're both in our own worlds."

Karina looks away, her gaze fixed on the street outside. "I know. I've been trying, but I've got a lot on my mind. It's hard to just switch off."

Her words are frustratingly vague, and I'm left feeling more confused than ever. "I understand that, but we need to talk about this. If we're going to make this work, we have to be honest with each other."

She sighs, looking back at me with a tired expression. "Adam, I'm sorry. I really am. It's just... sometimes I feel like we're not on the same page. And with everything going on, it's hard to know what to do."

I nod, feeling a mix of relief and sadness. "I know what you mean. I've been feeling the same way. I want to make this work, but I'm not sure how. Maybe we need to be more honest about what we're feeling."

Karina reaches out and takes my hand. "I think we both need to figure out what we want and where we're headed. Let's try to make the most of this trip and talk more about it. We owe it to ourselves to at least try."

I squeeze her hand, grateful for her willingness to talk. "Okay. Let's do that. We'll figure it out."

As we sit together, trying to enjoy the rest of our day in San Francisco, I can't help but feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe this trip will help us understand each other better, and maybe, just maybe, we'll find a way to move forward. But even with that hope, there's an underlying uncertainty. I still don't know if this is the start of something new or just a temporary fix for a deeper problem.

Later that night, back at the hotel, I'm feeling a bit tipsy from the wine we had earlier. I try to initiate some intimacy, hoping that it might bridge the emotional gap between us. I reach out, gently brushing my hand against Karina's arm.

"Hey," I say softly, leaning closer. "I was thinking maybe we could..."

I trail off, trying to gauge her reaction. Karina's eyes meet mine, but instead of the warm, inviting look I was hoping for, I see something more guarded.

"Adam," she interrupts, her voice gentle but firm. "I'm really tired. It's been a long day."

My hand freezes mid-air, and I pull it back, feeling a mix of disappointment and embarrassment. "Oh, okay. I didn't mean to push. I just thought..."

Karina cuts me off with a sigh, her expression weary. "I know. It's just... I'm not in the mood tonight. I've been feeling off lately, and I need some time to just relax."

I nod, trying to hide my frustration. "I get it. I'm sorry if I came on too strong. I just wanted to be close to you."

She sits up a bit, running a hand through her hair. "Adam, it's not just about tonight. I'm just really tired and emotionally drained. I need to focus on myself for a bit."

I can see she's not in the mood, and I don't want to push her further. I reach over and touch her arm lightly, trying to offer some comfort. "I understand. We don't have to do anything. I just wanted to be close to you."

Karina offers a faint smile, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Thanks. I appreciate that. Maybe we can try again another time."

I settle back into my side of the bed, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment. The wine is starting to wear off, and the emotional weight of the day is settling heavily on me. I wish this trip would somehow fix what's broken between us, but it feels like we're running out of time. I'm left wondering if we're clinging to something that's already slipping through our fingers.

As the night stretches on, I lie there staring at the ceiling, feeling a deep sense of longing and uncertainty. This trip was supposed to be our chance to reconnect, but it feels like we're skimming the surface of something much deeper. I want to be happy with Karina, to find peace in this life I've built without Viola. But as I lie here in the dark, I can't shake the feeling that I'm just going through the motions, trying to force something that might never be right.

The city outside is bathed in a golden twilight, a stark contrast to the darkness I'm feeling inside. I want to believe this trip is a new beginning, but with each passing moment, it feels more like a temporary fix for a wound too deep to heal. For now, all I can do is take it one step at a time and hope that we can find our way back to each other.