The rough streets of manhattan (WIP)

Perplexing

❝I finally realized, "I loved her, I was fucking falling in love with the one I loathed, Jim Carroll (chapter 39) ❞

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Jim's POV: I was about eight or so when I had my first crush on somebody, and I remember fondly how beautiful she was. I can also remember the trauma that transpired from it. I recall her exactly saying that I was a creep for staring at her, and she told me to look the other way. This scarred me for life, and until the time I was with Tess. I swore to myself I could never love anyone else after Tess cheated on me with my sworn enemy, Oliver. But I didn't want the same thing to happen, I needed to hide my feelings from Emery, she didn't need to know, and it's just so obvious she only sees me as a pal and nothing more than that. It was up until then I could think of when I first got struck by Cupid's arrow once again was that night I hugged her in the rain, telling her everything was going to be fine. I felt chills go down my body as I hugged her, as I never felt that before, with her anyway. It was easy to hide the feelings at first, but as time went on it was getting harder to hide them day by day, night by night. That was when I finally realized, "I loved her, I was fucking falling in love with the one I loathed, but how could I tell her how I feel when she doesn't feel the same way about me. And only sees me as a "good pal". But how was I gonna tell her? That thought raced in my mind the whole morning before school was to start.

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Emery slightly fluttered her eyes open, yawning in the process, and then she looked over to see what the time was. As she glances at the bedside table, she notices that it's 7:30! And school starts at 9 am. She hopped up from her bed and got ready for the day that was upon her. She still couldn't stop thinking about the other day, did Jim really hate hotdogs so much? And if he doesn't, she thought, "he's been acting kind of peculiar recently." As she put her school uniform on, she heard her dad yelling at her, motioning that breakfast was on the table. As her dad's old proverb was, "If you don't make it to the table fast enough, your breakfast will already be eaten." She glanced in her mirror checking herself out, and slightly adjusting her uniform. Emery hunches over to put her shoes on and she heads for the kitchen hoping her dad didn't eat her breakfast too! Her dad beat her again for the second time in a row, and all she had left was her orange juice, which wasn't surprising because she fondly recalled that her father absolutely despised orange juice. She wasn't real fond of it either as a matter of fact. She scurried out the apartment door, grabbing her overcoat and messenger bag. She ran as fast as she could to get to her school. But the whole time Emery was getting to her school, she didn't even realize that Jim was right behind her. He was just as nervous as ever, his hands stuffed in his pant pockets. And as Emery approached her school, she heard the familiar sound of all the basketball players converse squeaking on the floor. Emery knew this would be another boring, depressing and "very" lonely day once again. Well yeah Jim would speak to her sometimes, but her neighbor didn't count.

As the bell sounded for lunch, everyone came hurdling in there like wild animals. It was probably the cake they served twice a month once again. As she got her lunch, she sat down at an empty table, eating with the silence, she was just so desperate for someone to sit with her. But nobody liked her at the new school.
*Meanwhile at the other tables*
Tess spoke, "did you see the new guy who just transferred here today, she spoke nervously."
"Oh Tess don't tell me you've fallen for another motherfucker, have you seen the color of his hair, it's a dark shade of brown, which is so disgusting , Brit said mockingly. Brit always had something negative to say, you could say Brit or as everyone else calls her behind her back, Brit the bitch, she never is in a good mood.
"Oh yeah, he's kinda cute, I head from a little birdy that his name is Calvin"- Alaska was instantly interrupted by Brit, as Brit did this very often.
"Like Calvin Klein?" Brit spoke teasingly
"Brit can you get any more dumber, replied Kat."
Ok guys, come on listen to me, his name is Calvin Asheby, and he just moved here from Montana, that's what I heard Neutron say, Alaska gossiped, motioning her hand in front of her face looking like she was about to play that horrendous game of telephone.
"Well guys now that you mention it, He moved in a few blocks down from me, and I saw a girl with him, Tess softly spoke."
"He has a girlfriend already? Alaska complained."
"It's probably his sister or something, I mean I don't know, they weren't kissing or anything so they must be related, Tess uttered."
"I doubt anyone would want that scruffy scumbag, a girl could really do better than that trailer trash, I Mean look, Jim's been single for a while now, and he's so dreamy, Brit said."
"Is he ugly or something, Alaska said, perplexed."
It's not that he's ugly, he's just different looking, Tess said."
"Well why don't we ask Kat, Brit said, sounding sort of in a rude, mocking tone."
Kat who just came back from the bathroom, asked her friends what was going on and they always gave her the most vague answers ever.
"Hey guys well, what did I miss, I was visiting the throne room, Kat tried to joke but there was just awkward silence and stares at her from across the table towards her, what?"
"We're all just talking about the new guy Calvin, we were all agreeing how ugly his hair was and shit,Brynn stated and crossed her arms."
"Well I wouldn't say all of them, stated Brit in a sarcastic mocking manner, eyeing Kat."

"So what do you think about Calvin, Kat, asked Tess."

Heck guys, I don't even know the guy and you're all already making up assumptions about someone, I don't know him so I'm not answering, debated Kat."

"I think he's really reserved and shy, and well he's so quiet and keeps to himself, I had him in English this morning and that guy didn't utter a single word, Brynn exclaimed."

"I love that quality in a guy, Alaska coos."

"He's all yours, Miss. Alaska, Brit spoke."

All Jim could do was think of her, sitting there herself at lunch, he snuck some quick glances at her. He felt pity for her, but then again, wouldn't people judge him for sitting with her? I looked at her once more.

"Hey uh, Jim watcha looking at? Questioned Pedro, perplexed, he was.
Jim who just shrugged and smiled slyly, "Oh, nothing," he said pretty quickly considering. But he couldn't just stop thinking about her, pitying her once more, and from across the lunchroom emery could feel his gaze on hers. She shot him a perplexed look. He suddenly felt like a rush of hope hit him. Should he let this moment drift away like the wind on an autumn day or just let it slide. But she  didn't give him a lovey dovey look so he just let it pass. After lunch Jim went to go to his locker, to get some things for his next class, and as he shut his locker a familiar face showed up, with their arms crossed, and looked annoyed.
"Jim why did you stare at me in the cafeteria, Emery stated, sounded irritated."
"Well what are you talking about, Jim said," trying to mask the nervousness. He could feel the sweat collect at his neck.
"Don't play dumb with me Jim! I saw you looking at me in the cafeteria?,"she said confused, still her arms crossed.
I don't know Emery ok! I got to get to class ok?! Jim said, quickly avoiding her like the wind.