With love and longings, your nana

Chapter 13

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heyyyyyy! I am soooo happy to get many new readers and as the last chapter's target was complete, here is the new chapter as promisedddddd

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'To my dearest daughter, Aadhyaa Mahadevan, no Dr. Aadhyaa Mahadevan. This is your father Mahadevan and I want you to know that you have no idea how proud I feel, everytime I hear the word 'Doctor' attached to your name. Choosing your name caused quite the riot in our house, you know. I wanted to name you Shalini, but your mother and brother absolutely denied, saying that Aadhyaa was the name they wished to name you with. I couldn't win the argument, but I must agree, Aadhyaa is such a suiting name. You were always the calm and composed kid, hardly crying, no issues with being lifted by strangers and never ever cried for silly reasons. Nor were you the kind of kid, who was stubborn for anything. But growing up, you became very stubborn, probably you got that from me, but don't let your mom know that okay?

I was never a great father, nor was I an ideal husband or son. I was just a hardworking and straightforward human being. The gifts of my nature were my wife and my lovely kids. My kids weren't perfect, but hey,no one is. I wished to be the best father, and I kept on trying. It's just that my ideologies didn't match with your mother's, let alone the next generation. Your mother and I, we weren't really the most perfect couple and neither were we quite bonded to each other, but we made things work. Your brother was a very soft and emotional kid, who was very fussy and quite picky, your opposite, to be honest. Everything was a competition for him and he tried to be the perfect kid. As he grew up, he was perfect, and matured quite early.

Actually, today is the date you are joining your medical college and I couldn't be a more proud dad. A 695 upon 720 on your NEET exams and you got the best college that ever existed. It was not the perfect score, but who cares. The only thing that mattered was that you achieved your long time dream. You were very logical and sensible and most of the time we had differing views on somethings, your arguments made much more sense as we argued, but I could never agree on that. My ego hurt and most importantly, I wanted to portray myself as always right, and somehow it made me want to oppress everyone around me. I always strived hard to be the best dad, but I ended up being the worst. I really hope you can forgive me one day.

With love and longings,

Your Nana,

 Mahadevan'

Aadhyaa was confused whether to smile or cry, while reading the letter. It was the very first time she had an idea about her father and how he really felt. There weren't a lot of instances where her father was showcasing his true feelings. She wiped the tears that managed to escape her eyes and she folded the sheet back and slid it inside the letter back into the envelope.

She just sat silently, without doing anything and simply stared at the envelopes that were neatly arranged. She took another deep breath and opened the second one with the same tenderness. This time, she didn't feel the envelope or the letter and proceeded to read it directly.

'Dearest daughter Aadhyaa,

You know, today is the day when you finished your first year at your medical college. Your score was far from perfect and I couldn't be more happier. Yet, I scolded you. Yes, I am sure you would remember this incident since I was extremely mean and rude and I told you off completely for not focusing and always wishing to enjoy life. I never could show you, or anyone, my true feelings and intentions because I grew up hearing people say that children will not grow up well and successful if you are too friendly and lethargic. You are not your child's best friend and are a father. I always longed for a moment where I could just sit down with you, Harsh and your mother and watch the show you all watch together with you guys and enjoy it the way you always do. I think it was the bitterness that I couldn't do so, that made me make sure that you guys don't enjoy it as well. Call it sadist, I am calling it the same, but I couldn't help it. You're a doctor, you know how human psychology works. I don't feel proud of it and I always regret it, everytime I see you guys turn the tv off or stop talking everytime I enter the room. I was too proud to apologize, you might think, but the truth is, I never knew how to. I grew up with boys all the time, and everything was a struggle so I knew nothing about being tender and I brought up my son in the same rigor manner. I caused what he is now. He might be a successful lawyer, and is strong, but that also made him to be locked in a shell, not sharing anything. I found my daughter-in-law, your anni, sobbing alone in her room. She was grumbling to herself about how he is too locked up and doesn't share his worries to anyone and how she was feeling bad about it. I understand, I broke you and your brother. I was supposed to take care of you, it doesn't need me to make you grow. It is not like you won't grow up if I don't do it, I understood very late. I hope you can forgive me.

Your nana, 

Mahadevan

Aadhyaa took deep breaths. She had never really seen her father's point of view because she was too narrow and shallow to notice his POVs. She had a wonderful bond with her father as a child. She was so fond of him and her brother. Her mother was her best friend, but slowly as she grew up, she thought that people had changed, but what really had happened was that her perspective of life and her thoughts had a role in this too. She had often seen her father telling off her brother, even though he was perfect in her eyes, and never understood what was wrong. Probably because she could never feel what a father does, the pain , the fear, everything. She just wanted to live on her terms but she never really thought of what the opposite person felt. She was selfish, everyone is, but her only wish was to escape from reality, which was too much for her to tolerate. She just abruptly stopped spending time with her family, stuck to her room, refused to watch movies and spend quality time. She felt that whatever she did, it ended up annoying them. Her voice annoyed them, her face annoyed them, her character annoyed them and everything about her just annoyed them.

Aadhyaa just wiped the tears and continued to fold the letter back into the envelope. She took another one and read it. This way she almost finished reading all of them, except the last one. She noticed that 4 hours had passed and she had postponed all her surgeries. She got up, stretched a bit and put all the envelopes back into the box. She placed the box carefully into the drawer on her table and left her office to pay her father and family a visit.

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