NAVIGATING 5 - tadgh lynch

9 - Tadhg

20th April, 2005.

Ollie shook me awake, taking me out of my own personal hell. I've been having nightmares. I always have, but they've never woken Ollie before. We stayed in Nanny Murphy's house for a few days. Darren came back, fucking dick was in contact with mam the whole time. Ollie doesn't even remember him, for crying out loud. He's taken my phone, because he says 'I can't have you texting that Lordan one before we get our story straight'. Like fuck I'd text Oisin about this shit. yes I trust that spanner with my life, but there's only one person I'd want to tell. 'Get our story straight'. That's a fucking joke. The day he told us, Ollie kept me up all night asking questions I didn't have answers to because he didn't want to ask Darren, Shannon was barley alive, and Joey's nowhere to be found. I'm the only one he trusts in this house, and that makes me feel sick. I just want to hear that bleedin' Derry accent again.

"Tadhg, get up. You have training this morning." Mr. Perfect called up the stairs. I resisted the urge to curse him out in response after looking at my 9 and 3 year old brothers. I pulled myself out of bed and threw on my hurling kit, and a hoodie, grabbing my boot bag and hurl, then trudging out of the room and downstairs, into the kitchen where mam and Darren sit at the table. I grabbed an orange ad filled a water bottle, throwing it in my bag and peeling the orange, throwing away the skin.

"You need more than that for your breakfast, Tadhg." Tadhg this, Tadhg that.
"Because you know me so well?" I ask him, leaning against the kitchen counter and tossing a section of the orange into my mouth.
"Don't be rude Tadhg, he's trying to help." Mam attempted to scold me, failing miserably.
" You'd know loads about that, wouldn't you mam?" I ask sarcastically, bitterness lacing the last word, and I left the kitchen without another word, stalking out the front door and starting the short walk to the GAA grounds. 

***

"Tadhg." My best mate called out to me after training, "What the fucks up with you? Lilibeth's loosing her mind. She said Sadhbh can't leave her unsupervised because she kept trying to sneak out to your house. She was talking to her cousin the other day and she's been on edge since." Her cousin. Gibsie. He's best friends with Shannon's lad. The one who keeps sending police cars to the house. He told Gibs. Gibs told her. She knows. Fuck. Me. Sideways. I turn around to face him. 

"Look, Sheeny. There's been a lot of shit going on. I cant... I-" I rub a hand down my face, "I cant tell you yet. Darren's back, and he took my phone. You can tell Lily that much."
He looked at me for a moment, supposedly thinking, then his eyes widened. "Your brother Darren?" I nodded, and he finally let me leave, seemingly satisfied with my answer. I wish I didn't have to keep secrets from them. 

I apologize for the shit chapter. Also ive decided im going to redo the character chapter soon because i kinda hate it. okay thats all. bye. love ya xx