NAVIGATING 5 - tadgh lynch

17 - Lilibeth

I can't breathe. I don't know if it's the smoke, the crying, or the fact he's still in there, probably burnt to ashes. Only two bodies, male and female, the firemen said. I had half a mind to run into that house and find him myself, but i couldn't move. My body was cemented in place. My Hello-Kitty pjs were destroyed from the filthy driveway, but for once it didn't bother me. Didn't even phase me. I finally noticed Johnny holding Joey back. He kept saying 'I have them' to Joey. What does he mean? Is Joey that worried about his drugs..? My cousin proved my thoughts wrong after he came up behind me, crouching and placing a hand on my back, pressing his mouth to my ear to whisper, "Tadhg's safe, he's at Johnny's.." He went on to explain how Johnny got them, but now there was four words ringing in my head.

Tadhg's safe

He's back

Tadhg's safe

He's back

Tadhg's safe

Tadhg

is 

safe

And suddenly no other words mattered. The weight of Gibsie's sentence weighed heavy on my shoulders. He's safe. He's at Johnny's. 'I have them', Johnny said to Joey, referring to his siblings. My breathing calmed eventually, and I turned to look at him. 
"He's safe?" 

"He's safe, babe."

Tadgh

I sat on the bed of one of the guest rooms of the Kavanagh's, staring out the window. I couldn't do much else. Edel was coddling Ollie and Sean, trying to show them that Mr. Kavanagh was no threat to them. Shannon's asleep in Johnny's room, the latter went back for mum, if you could even call her that. Joey is MIA, and it's not like I could call Lilibeth or Oisin, seeing as my phone was still wedged between my bedframe and my mattress back in that house. Fuck, I feel bad for hanging up on her. What I would do to hear her voice right now. Her birthday is this day next week, too. The 27th of May, 1993. The date has been engraved in my mind since I was 7 years old. The date the light in my endless darkness graced us with her life. She's probably the only reason I went with Johnny a mere hour ago. The thought of not even attempting to see her again made my stomach churn. I know she has her own issues, and fuck me, I wish she would tell me, but no matter how big the demons haunting her are, she's always so bleedin' perky. I can't decide if I love it or hate it, but she always has this beautiful smile on her face. She's beautiful. She's the complete opposite of me, with her thick, dark, wavy hair, that she takes such good care of because there is never a strand of those perfect dark waves out of place, with those hazel eyes, and I still stand by what I thought the first time I laid eyes on her, that they definitely have specks of blue in them.

It's ironic, isn't it? My abusive father turned up randomly after being away for weeks after almost beating my sister to death, and here I am, thinking about my best friend. I'm a fucking spanner, aren't I? But I cant help but wonder what she's doing now. Did she even second guess the abrupt end to our phone call? Is she at that house, looking for me? Please tell me she's not. Maybe she's gone to Oisin's to ask if he knows anything. Or maybe-

"Where is he?" I heard a familiar voice say from downstairs, their voice breaking as if they were crying. "Where is he, Edel?" 

Is she... here??

Uhm okay Lilibeth it's giving helicopter parent