wonderstruck - tayvis oneshots

no fears are crazy

TW: Emetophobia

He couldn't help but take a glance at her every now and then while preparing dinner. He had insisted on taking care of the food today since she's been cooking for him all week and he wanted her to relax a little. While he was in the kitchen, cutting up an avocado, some chicken and some more vegetables since Taylor had recently thought him how to make burritos while she was curled up on the couch, her headphones on and her eyes fixed on whatever she was watching on her phone. Every now and then he would get a little giggle from her that would immediately trigger a smile to appear on his face.

But then all of the sudden he heard her gasp and as he looked over he saw her shoving off her headphones as quickly as she could, throwing her phone away as she did so. It landed on the floor with a loud thud as she scrambled as far away from it as she could, curling herself even further into the back of the couch. Out of instinct he dropped the knife and rushed over to her, extremely confused by what had just happened.

"Tay? What happened?" he asked concerned, sprinting around the couch and sitting down next to her. She was shaking and he could hear her breathing picking up. She had her eyes squeezed shut and her right hand was pressed tightly over her mouth. "What's wrong?" he asked, growing even more concerned as she trembled even worse. He had never seen her shake so bad, not even during a panic attack.

"Please talk to me Tay I want to help you." He said almost begging, carefully reaching out to touch her knee. "I- Trav you- you – fuck." She stammered, not really being able to form a full sentence. "It's okay, slow deep breaths you got this, slowly in and out and then try again, tell me what's going on." He instructed, trying to stay calm. "The new- new episode. No- no trigger warning." She sobbed, her hand shaking as she moved it away from her mouth to talk.

"What do you mean no trigger warning? Do you mean the new podcast episode?" he asked, moving to rub her back as her breathing was slowly returning to normal. But she was still shaking. "Yes. That scene- that guy that threw up on the football." She managed to mumble before gagging, pressing her hand back to her mouth.

"Oh shit Tay are you going to throw up?" he asked worriedly, ready to pick her up and rush her to the bathroom if needed. "No- stop- please stop." She said, shaking even harder. "I- I have emetophobia I- I can't- I'm terrified of throwing up Trav and- seeing someone- someone throw up- I can't." she sobbed, pressing her hand over her mouth again.

Emetophobia? He had never in his life heard of that ever before. But seeing Taylor cry and tremble like this after seeing that clip of that football player throwing up made it extremely real all of the sudden. Very carefully he picked her up and cradled her in his arms, rubbing her back as she buried her face in his neck.

"What can I do sweet girl, tell me what I can do to help you." He said calmly, trying to reassure her that she was okay, that she would be okay. "Outside please, fresh air." She mumbled, still shaking uncontrollably. Without missing a beat he stood up, carrying her bridal style through the living room and out onto the porch of the back yard. He sat down on the outdoor couch with her still on his lap, pulling out one of the blankets from the little storage box next to it and covering her with it, not wanting her to get cold.

Leaning back he cradled Taylor close again, rubbing her back while she tried to take some deep breaths. "Trav you have to put trigger warnings on things like that." She sniffled after a while, while her shaking was slowly getting less. "I'm so sorry Tay I- to be honest I had no idea that even was a thing." He replied truthfully, kissing the top of her head. "But it is and about 5% of all people have it. And since about half a million people listen to the podcast, about 20.000 people seeing this clip are going to have really bad anxiety because of it." She explained, finally lifting her hand away from her mouth and grabbing onto his shirt, trying to ground herself. "Shit, that's a lot. Okay I'm going to text Brandon he's gotta put a warning on it." He responded, immediately pulling out his phone to text his intern.

He heard her sigh loudly, trying to take even deeper and steadier breaths since she was still shaking. "Do you need anything?" he asked, putting his phone away again and focusing back on his girlfriend, carefully placing his hand on her stomach, offering some extra warmth. "Keep your hand there, I think it helps." She whispered, starting to relax into him, the fresh air definitely helping with settling her stomach and easing her anxiety. "What about some distraction, we could watch some friends, what do you think? To get your mind off of it?" he suggested, earning a little nod from her.

Very gently he picked her up again and carried her back inside, sitting down with her on the couch and grabbing the remote, putting on any episode of friends since he knew it was her comfort show. He positioned his hand on her stomach again, letting it rest there without putting too much pressure onto her skin to make sure it wouldn't add to her nausea that she was trying to fight so hard and that was apparently making her extremely anxious.

After a few minutes he actually noticed how she got calmer, her breathing returned to normal, her shaking almost stopped and she absently started playing with his fingers like she always did while watching tv like they were her favourite thing to fidget with. He kept pressing kisses to her head every now and then, reminding her that he was right here, taking care of her, not letting her go through this alone. But his mind was somewhere else. He had had no idea about this phobia and now that Taylor had explained that about 20.000 people who listened to the podcast had it too he started to feel really bad, knowing that some of them where probably feeling just like Taylor was right now after seeing the clip and hearing them talk about it.

He wondered what phobias he might also not know about that had triggered people listening to the podcast. He had never meant for anyone to be uncomfortable while listening to their show. But since he had been oblivious to this he just couldn't help but think that there had to be more that he was oblivious to. He had to talk to Jason about this, they had to make sure to always put proper trigger warnings on the episodes to make sure no one would have to go through such bad fear and anxiety like he had just watched Taylor experience.

"I'm sorry for freaking out like that I didn't mean to snap at you, you didn't know it wasn't your fault." She said after a while, turning around to look up at him. "Don't apologize sweetie, you're totally right we have to put trigger warnings on things like that. I'm sorry you have to go through this right now." He replied, bending down to press a light kiss to her forehead.

"It's getting better, I just- I feel bad I won't be able to eat any of the food you prepared. I can't eat anything right now." She said and he could already see the tears of guilt building up in her bright blue eyes. "Don't worry about that I'll eat it, it won't go to waist." He said, squeezing her waist gently. "Would it be okay for you if I eat it here on the couch or- would you rather not be near food I- I'm just trying to learn about this." He asked carefully.

"No it's- it's really nice that you care. You can eat here that's fine. Honestly most of the guys I've told about it just made fun of me and said it wasn't real. That's why I didn't tell you before I was just- scared of how you would react. But of course you reacted perfectly because you're so fucking perfect." She said, smiling up at him tiredly.

"I love you so much sweet girl. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I would never ever do anything that would risk losing you. All those other guys are stupid." He said, making her giggle. "They really are." She said, smiling brightly. "And I love you too." She then added, leaning back against him and continuing to watch friends, cuddled into her boyfriend's safe and protective arms. "Is there anything else I should know about, any more phobias?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"No, nothing else you don't know of. You know all of my crazy fears now." She sighed relieved. It felt good, now that he knew everything. There was nothing she had to be afraid of telling him anymore. "None of your fears are crazy baby girl. And thank you for opening up to me." He whispered, burying his nose into her hair, taking in her sweet, flowery scent. He was glad that she was starting to trust him, that she was telling him about her feelings and what she needed when she would get anxious. It showed him that she was learning to let him in and let him be there for her.

didn't prove read this so please let me now if there are any typos or stuff like that =)