ℝ𝕖𝕕 ℝ𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕤

🎀 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 🎀(Edited)

(Luella's POV)

Outfit above^^^^^^^^

Pulmonary fibrosis is an incurable disease, and I am left to come to terms with the fact that I will eventually die from a very slow and painful death. I feel like I'm slowly disappearing into nothingness. My first series of treatments start this weekend, and I have to go on oxygen therapy early because the doctors think I'm close to stage two cancer. The medications I will be taking, pirfenidone and nintedanib, are daunting drugs, and I'm even afraid to say their names. These are the thoughts running through my mind as I drive to school. Considering it's only a day after my diagnosis, I like to think I'm handling it quite well.

Bella's voice startles me from my reverie. "We're here. Luella, you know I— I never mind." She says, jumping out of the truck right after uttering so. I do nothing but just sit in the truck, trying to trace what she had meant to say, but honestly, nothing crosses my mind. Probably something regarding my disease. Bella is taking it way harder than I think.

I recall once, being nine or ten. I climbed to the top of a tall tree in our old back-yard in Arizona and fell off. I split my head open, and broke my shoulder and wrist. I got a terrible concussion, was in a cast, and spent months in a sling. But not once did Bella think that I might die-not after I fell from the tree, not as the blood ran from my head. So why now is she caring so much? It's been quite a while back, but I just feel like she did not care then... maybe I overthink things.

"You missed first period." I look up to see Jasper leaning down at the truck door, having slipped in without me noticing.

"Oh—I didn't realize," I reply, still dazed.

"You're fine. I was just worried," he reassures me.

"C'mon, sit in here. I don't really want to go to gym," I say, scooting over to make room.

"And why don't you want to go to gym?" Jasper probes.

"Hmmm, I just don't feel like it," I remark evasively.

"Let's play twenty questions?" he suggests.

I mutter a quick "Alright," and we pass the time with the game until the third-period bell rings, signaling it's time for AP English.

I should never have sat at my sister's lunch table today. We're no more than through the door, and one of her friends—Earl? No, Rick—is standing on his chair, surfing and yelling something about "La Push".

"La Push, baby. You in?" this surfer dude calls out.

"Should I know what that means?" Bella responds, clearly puzzled.

"La Push Beach, down on the Quileute reservation. We're all going after school. Big swell coming in," Mike says, the only name I can remember.

"And I don't just surf the internet," someone says.

"There's whale watching too. Come with us!" a girl with oval white glasses suggests.

"La Push, baby," Eric says in this snooty accent that annoys me.

"We'll go if you stop saying that," Bella says, laughing.

"I'm not going," I say quietly. Bella gives me a frown for not participating.

"Oh, you're Luella Swan, right? Bella's sister?" a brown-haired girl who is rumored to be the biggest gossip in school asks. I nod in response.

"Why were you coughing so much yesterday?" she continues, and my stomach drops. I really don't want anyone to know about my illness. People already treat me differently because I hang out with the Cullens; I don't need their pity. Thankfully, Jasper and Alice whisked me out of the greenhouse before anyone saw what I was coughing up.

"Common cold," I reply shortly, and she nods, letting it go.

"So how did you end up friends with the Cullens?" she asks, a tinge of jealousy in her voice.

"Umm. I don't know. I just talked to them," I mutter.

"Huh. Weird. You don't really seem like their type," she snipes, with smugness dripping from her voice. "I mean, they're so. mysterious, and you're just kind of. there."

Before I can even help myself, I snap. "What is it with you? Do you get off on making people feel worse, or is this just some insecurity thing you're projecting?" My voice is sharp, and heads turn in our direction.

She narrows her eyes. "I'm only saying what everyone's thinking. You don't fit. They're probably only hanging out with you because they feel bad for you."

"Maybe they hang out with me because I'm not a jealous, shallow excuse for a person," I snap back, my voice rising. Anger and adrenaline surge through me, making my hands shake.

"Wow, defensive much? Must be the side effects of whatever meds you're on," she smirks back.

Before I can say anything, Jasper is at my side, his presence reassuring yet commanding. "Enough," he says coolly, his eyes of gold fixed on hers. She quails under the weight of that gaze, taking a backward step.

"Luella, come on," Jasper says softly, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I'm still angry, so I hesitate; but he pulls me back by the evenness and steadiness of his voice. "She's not worth it," he says softly to soothe my temper. I nod reluctantly as he turns me around and away from the table.

We slip away to a quieter corner of the school hall, and yet I can feel residual anger thrum hard in my chest. "I'm sorry," I mutter at Jasper.

He shakes his head. "You don't have to apologize. But. what happened?"
"She just got under my skin. I couldn't let her talk to me like that," I admit, my voice trembling.
Jasper studies me a moment before his expression gentles. "You've been through a lot, Luella. You don't have to fight every battle. Save your strength for what really matters."

His words sink in, and I feel the sting of tears. I look away, embarrassed, but Jasper steps closer. "Hey," he says softly, his fingers tilting my chin so I'm looking at him. "You don't have to face this alone."

I nod, swallowing hard. "Thank you," I whisper.

For a moment, we stand in silence, the air thick with unspoken emotions. Then, on impulse, I say, "Kiss me, please."

Jasper's eyes widen slightly, but then they soften. "Are you sure?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

I nod, and after a moment's hesitation, his lips meet mine. The kiss is soft and full of unspoken promises. His hands rest softly on my waist, and I tangle my fingers in his hair, forgetting myself in the act. When finally we pull away, our foreheads rest against each other, and a smile I couldn't help but slips out.

"That was nice," I whisper, my heart still racing.

"Yes, it was," he whispers, his golden eyes all aglow with warmth.

Just then, the bell rings, and the spell breaks. Jasper clears his throat as he steps backward. "I'll see you tomorrow," he says with a small smile as he walks away.

I stand still, my hand resting on my lips, remembering how soft his lips were against mine, how cold his hands felt against my waist. Most of all, though, I'm just wondering:

Why would he kiss me?

1/4/25   cringe I know butt (pun intended) if we dont talk about the cringe level being as cringy as any 2020 Tik Tok pov then this story is good.