Vampire lore - Carmilla/First Kill

Chapter 40

Juliette's footsteps echoed through the empty hallway, each step reverberating off the stone walls, amplifying the weight she carried within. Every stride felt heavier than the last, not from physical exhaustion but from the emotional storm churning inside her. The weight of Elinor's words lingered, like poison, seeping deeper into her chest with every second that passed. She gripped the wooden banister, her fingers digging so hard into the grain that the wood bit back, an anchor to keep her from spiraling.

Elinor had always known how to wound her—how to strike with precision, where the pain would reverberate the longest. Her sister's smirk had been a weapon in itself, the way her words dripped like venomous honey, leaving scars far deeper than any physical blow.

It wasn't the first time Elinor had turned her words into daggers, but this time felt different. There was something colder about her sister now, something that Juliette couldn't quite reconcile with the person she had once known.

The floorboards creaked under her weight, the old house groaning in response, filling the silence. The moonlight filtering through the dusty windows painted the hallway in long, eerie shadows, distorting the space into something unfamiliar. She could hear faint murmurs from downstairs, but their voices felt distant, like they belonged to a different world, a world Juliette could no longer access. They were busy trying to piece together the day's events, but that puzzle seemed trivial compared to what she had just faced.

Finally, she reached her room, the door creaking as she pushed it open. The moment she was inside, she let herself slide down to the floor, her back pressed against the cool wood as her legs gave out. The room, once a safe space, now felt suffocating, like the walls were closing in. Moonlight cast an eerie glow through the curtains, cold and distant, much like the way her life felt right now. She pulled her knees to her chest, pressing her forehead against them, willing herself to hold it together.

The emotions she had been holding at bay threatened to overwhelm her now that she was alone. Anger, guilt, sadness—they all twisted inside her, leaving her chest tight, her breath shallow. She had held back tears earlier, forcing herself to remain composed, but now the dam was breaking. Yet, even in her solitude, she fought them back.

Crying wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't undo what Elinor had become, nor would it erase the part Juliette had played in it. The weight of her family's legacy was too great, bearing down on her like a yoke she could never shrug off. Her mother's cold detachment, her father's resignation, Oliver's smug sense of inevitability—all of it haunted her, ghosts that wouldn't let her rest.

Juliette dragged herself toward the bathroom, her limbs feeling like lead. Each movement was stiff, mechanical, as if her body was going through the motions while her mind was far away. She stripped off her clothes, her hands fumbling with the buttons, and stepped into the shower.

The hot water hit her skin, but it did nothing to melt the ice that had settled deep within her bones. She scrubbed at her skin until it was raw, trying to wash away not just the grime of the night but the guilt that clung to her like a second skin. Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape the voice in her head—Elinor's voice.

'You're just like her'

It whispered, and no matter how hard Juliette tried to silence it, the words burrowed deeper, like thorns beneath her skin. What if her sister was right? Could she truly claim to be any different, shaped as she was by the same hunger for power that had consumed her entire family?

The water ran cold, but Juliette didn't move. She let it numb her skin, wishing it could numb her mind as well. But no amount of cold water could wash away the doubts. When she finally turned off the shower and stepped out, her body was shivering uncontrollably, though not entirely from the cold. She wrapped herself in a towel, the fabric soft against her skin, but it brought no comfort.