Déja Vú

Chapter 34

Ashton

Completely empty.

That is how i felt right now.

I take a swig at the bottle of voldka in front of me and sigh...

Save for Josiah...I had nothing to live for anymore.

The first time, circumstances had taken Leora away from me and it took me years to pretend to get over it, but now she rejected me by herself, there was a physical ache in my heart that  would never go away, except i died.

And it was all my fault...

When i found out she was still alive, I had flown all the way to Las Vegas to see her.

It was the premiere of  her first movie.

But she did not remember me...and that was when i found out she was suffering from amnesia.

I was too heartbroken, but i knew my heart was not going to let her go...knowing she was alive, so I watched her from a distance.

I went for every premiere, every product launch, every award gala, always watching from a distance.

That was why i was in the club the other day...

But then I got selfish...the buisness man in me took advantage of her situation and got her to marry me.

I kept telling myself it was for Sy's sake...that I wanted to bring his mother back to him but all along...it was just the fact that i simply could not function without her.

What was I even thinking?

That i could just get her to fall in love with me again?

She was perfect in every sense of the word.

She could have any man she wanted...so why did i think she will settle for a single father like me...who in reality had no way of helping her in the industry she so much loved?

I should have not been a coward and approached her...I should have tried to date her, show her she could be happy with me again but no....and now i have lost her...forever.

But she agreed to make it work though...why did she lead me on when she knew she was in love with Jon?

Why didnt she just tell me?

Is that how much she hated me?

"Why Leora" My voice was a little above a whisper as I took downed the whole bottle.

Sy was not at home so i could drink to my hearts content today.

I could cry and not feel the need to be strong for him.

I stood up  from the floor in my room where i had probably been sitting for days and walked to the door....kicking past bottles of voldka and tissue papers.

I needed another drink.

I had barely gotten to the door when I hear my phone ring.

"Who the fuck is that"I angrily yell, stumbling to my bed to get the phone.

The past month i have been here in my room...feeling sorry for myself.

Sy was staying with my dad. They made up an excuse that i was down with some contagious disease so he agreed.

Dad and Ashlie had been taking care of the company since then. Everyone came over...with their own opinion Ashlie,my parents, Leoras parents,Kathani,Londyn,Leon...probably trying to convince me...make me feel better.

But i did not want to feel better, because the truth remains Leora did not want to be with me...and at the end of the day they all decided to leave me to deal with it myself.

I pick the call without cheking the ID.

" What do you want"

"What??"

"I'm on the first flight out"

Leora.

I sigh as i rub the bracelets on my wrists absentmindedly.

They were the ones Josiah gave me and i hardly took them off.

One of them was just plain,the other one had Ashton,His and my name on it and the last one was given to me by Ashton actually... I was a simple gold bracelet with our surname "Carter" on it.

Carter.

In five months, I wont bear that name any longer.

Ashton.

I had not spoken to him in a month. Miserable was an understatement to how i felt.

Fine. Initially I was upset he had to make me marry him to help him, but in  the past 10 months, I found myself falling for him.

He made me special. I had never told him but he was everything I had ever wanted in a man.

He had gradually grown on me. I had gotten used to staying in Miami now. I had grown used to my Josiah... And now...I did not know if I would be able to live without them now.

And what hurt me the most was that Ashton thought I could betray him like this.

I mean yes I had openly expressed my displeasure at being his wife at the beginning... But i did agree to make things work didnt I?

Not that I could blame him much though....We had never really defined our relationship.... And I was halfway across the world and those pictures were quite misleading...

How was I going to clear my name and save what was left of my marriage now?

"Ms. Kohen, they are ready for you" Shauni, my assistant breaks me out of my thoughts.

"Okay" I stand up from the chair I had been sitting in and immediately feel dizzy. Shauni gives me a pitiful look as she hands over my Stanley. I take a sip and sigh.

I had barely been eating anymore so Shauni always put liquid supplements in my Stanley so I could have something in at least.

I give her a thank you smile before walking over to set.

Leora.

"Leora could you stand in the cirle please" The director asks and i walk over to the ringed circle confused.... This scene was not in the script I was given....

The scene we were supposed to be shooting was ironically a love confession between Jon and I characters so "Whats going on?" I voice out.

"Dont worry Leora,Its a new scene the producer just wrote in...we just need you to look in to the camera with a straight face okay?"

I nod and I director shouts "three, two, one, action"

Immediately the ring bursts into flames and immediately start hyperventilating.

I start seeing flashbacks of my accident, although not clear....all I can just see is blood...and fire.

"Stop" I manage to say in labored breaths...."Stop"....."Stop" I feel my visison getting weaker as I gradually fall to the ground.

The last thing I hear is the director screaming "cut" and Jon yelling at the crew before the darkness engulfs me.