Complicated (Marianas Trench Fanfic) (Fight For Something Sequel)

Chapter Three - And Then...

I woke up and squinted as the sun shined in my eyes.
"Uh, fuck." I mumbled. Just 'fuck' in general. If my life had a quote it would be 'fuck'.
I pushed up from Matt's torso, almost forgetting where I was. I groaned and dropped my head on his chest, closing my eyes again. Matt's hand brushed through my hair.
"You have pants on, right?" I asked somewhat jokingly.
"Yea?"
"Ok, good, because I don't." Matt laughed and I took the blanket, pulling it over my eyes. "What time is it?" I mumbled.
"One-ish I think." I groaned. "Your phone rang a couple times by the way." I groaned even louder.
"I can deal with that after."
"Headache bad?" He asked
"I just want to stay in bed for sixty hours."
"I'm going to take that as 'not too bad, but I feel like total shit.'"
"Exactly."
It was quiet and beautiful.
Quiet is my friend.
I put my arm around Matt's torso, making myself comfortable. He kept playing with my hair and I just wanted to melt.
"That feels really good." I whispered quietly and Matt didn't say anything. Shivers went down my back but he stopped and just wrapped his hand around my shoulder. "Hair." Matt laughed and went back to brushing my hair.
His heart was beating faster than it should be but his breathing was controlled. It felt really nice. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't 'special'. It was just nice to sleep beside someone and let that someone be Matt.
I almost fell back asleep but my phone started ringing. "Oh, for fucks sake." I sat up and grabbed my phone.
It's Mark.
I answered then hung up, not wanting to deal with anything. I laid back down.
"Who was it?" Matt asked.
"Mark." I closed my eyes again but my phone started ringing again. I rolled my eyes and huffed as I sat up. "Holy shit!"
"Want me to answer?" Matt asked and I laughed.
"God no." I grabbed my phone and got off the bed. "I'm just gonna take this." I threw the covers back over Matt before pulling down the oversized sweater down to my thighs and I looked at Matt briefly. He was looking at me with a small smile. I shook my head slightly with a grin and he chuckled a bit.
I walked in to the hallway and closed Matt's door.
I answered the phone. "What?"
"Oh my god, finally. Babe, I'm so sorry." Mark sounded like he meant it, wow, shocker.
"My head is pounding, I'm not in the mood." I walked down the staircase and sat on the bottom step.
"Just let me talk, please." He waited for me to say something but I didn't so he just continued. "I was drunk and you know I didn't mean to hurt you, I wound never do that to you. I'm so sorry, I'm a dick and I just want to make it up to you. I just made a mistake.... Well, multiple mistakes but please, please, please. I'll do anything."
"Ok, well, first of all. 'I was drunk' is not an excuse. I don't care if you were drunk, high, sober... I don't give a fuck. Second, yes, you are a dick. And what the fuck do you mean multiple mistakes?" I asked, furious. It was quiet for a moment.
"Listen, can I please come over right now? I just need to talk to you."
"I'm not home."
"Where are you? I can come get you." He told me.
"I'm at Matt's." It was quiet and I know he just wants to scream right now.
"Ok, well, I'm coming there now because I need to see you."
"Well, I dont want to see you."
"I know, but please? I'll be there in ten."
"No! Do you not understand?" I asked and waited for an answer but the line went dead. I looked at my phone. He hung up on me. I took a deep breath but it didn't help at all. I stood up and went upstairs back to Matt's room.
"How'd it goooooo?" He asked, still laying in bed with his arms behind his head.
"I'm going to pop his head like a fucking grape!" I looked around his room for my tights or sweat pants or anything I could use as pants but the floor was just too fucking messy, I couldn't see anything.
"So, it went well?"
"No! He's coming over now to talk to me and I just want to scream or stab something!" I started picking up clothes from the floor and throwing them around and Matt pushed the blanket off of him, standing from the bed.
"Ok, you just need to relax before you talk to anyone." I ran both of my hands through my hair, tugging at it, and I took a big breath.
"I'm going to combust." I whispered and Matt smiled a bit. I let my arms flop down beside me and I huffed. "Ok..." I mumbled to myself. "No, I'm not talking to him. I refuse."
"Fine. Then don't."
"Fine!? He's coming here now! I can't ignore him!"
"Then don't! I'm just trying to help." I groaned loudly and looked around the room.
"Where the fuck are my pants!?" Matt quickly looked around the room and picked up black pants which were my leggings. "Thanks." I mumbled and he smiled as he sat on his bed. I put on my leggings, jumping up and down and stretching them on. I looked in his mirror and quickly brushed my fingers through my hair, trying to not look like a total mess. "I'm going to punch myself in the face." I grumbled.
"Hey." Matt took my hand and tugged me towards him. "Stop." He looked me right in the eyes as he sat there. I groaned and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his shoulders. I stood there for a bit, just hugging Matt.
"Thank you." I mumbled. "I need to go downstairs." I told him.
"Mhmm."
I let him go and he did the same. I grabbed my shoes, Matt changed his clothes and followed me downstairs. I looked out the window and waited for Mark to show up. Matt leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. I can tell he wants to explode but he's trying his best to hide it. If he could go out there and punch Mark right in the face, he totally would.
Mark's shitty car pulled up in the drive way and I stepped out the door without another word to Matt. I shut the door behind me and stepped to the driveway. Mark got out of the car wearing the same clothes he wore last night.
"Hey." He said tiredly.
"Hi." I stood in front of him, keeping my distance.
"I know you don't want to talk to me right now, and I understand, but-"
"Tell me what you wanted to say." I said.
"Ok." He paused and looked at me with his sad eyes. He's a good actor. "I made a mistake. Like I said, I was drunk and I was angry and I just wasn't all there. And I just-" He sighed. "Maddie. I was with Maddie." I shrugged.
"Ok, cool. Don't need to know the details, thanks."
"You're not mad?"
"Is that a real question? Because I just think I'm passed the mad stage and now I'm so mad that everything is hilarious."
"Ok, but I can make it up to you. Let me take you out or something?" He suggested and I looked at him confused.
"Um, I guess you don't understand 'go fuck yourself' because I think that means 'I never want to see you again'. You don't understand 'no' either. Do you think I'm mad because you slept with Maddie? Yes, because that shows how blind I am and how you're the biggest douche. But did you not get that I didn't want to have sex with you? As I was saying no you were pulling at my pants. No means no. I think that's really easy to understand."
"Listen babe, I know. I made a mistake but that'll never happen again. And what happened with Maddie, that didn't mean anything."
"No, I'm not saying ok to any of this. We're done." I was about to turn around but he brought up such a great, interesting topic that I just had to stay and listen.
"How do I know you're not sleeping around with Matt? Huh? How do I know you guys aren't doing things behind my back."
"Because we aren't." I said sternly.
"You two've been close. Almost every day I see you go out with him instead of me." I laughed a little.
"Don't make me the bad guy because I'm not. You sexually harassed me then went and fucked another chick. So goodbye." I turned and started walking back to Matt's door but Mark grabbed my wrist. I turned and looked at him.
"Hey, I'm not done here." He said angrily.
"Let go." His hand was still wrapped around my wrist tightly. I looked him dead in the eye with no expression what so ever and I didn't hesitate as I spoke. "Let me go or you're going to end up on your ass with a bloody nose in ten second." Almost instantly he dropped my hand but didn't break his angry face.
I heard the front door to the house open.
"Hey, hey, hey. Dude, what're you doing?" Matt asked, sounding frustrated. I turned around as he walked up to us. I stood in front of him and put my hand on his chest.
"Matt, no." I told him quietly. "Don't."
"No." He gently moved me aside and walked up to Mark. "You don't touch her. At all. Do you understand?"
"What have you been doing with her!?" I rolled my eyes and huffed. I feel like we're three little girls on the play ground fighting over a Barbie doll and we just need to walk away.
Matt laughed.
"Dude, nothing. We're friends. You just need to leave her alone because you guys are done, I'm pretty sure she said that."
"I think you're the problem!" Mark blurted at him. "You kept her away from me. What's your play, man!?"
"You need-" I stepped between them and looked at Mark, not letting Matt finish his sentence.
"We're done here. You're leaving me alone, you're leaving Matt alone and you're leaving my friends alone. Don't try to talk to me." Mark stared at me and didn't say a word. I turned, grabbed Matt's arm and tugged him back into the house without saying anything else. I slammed the door. "I had that under control! You just made everything worse!"
"I don't give a shit! The fact that he grabbed you and-" He waved his arm around. "Touched you!" He paused. "No. Just no." I huffed and rubbed my face, taking a break from all this mayhem.
"Ok, well, I should get home before Sherrie does so she can yell at me." I changed the subject and Matt nodded. Without a word, I walked upstairs and grabbed my shirt, phone and keys from Matt's room. I came back downstairs. "I'm keeping this sweater by the way." Matt smiled slightly.
"Ok." He opened the door for me and I walked out to his car.
The car ride was silent with the radio quietly playing in the background. We didn't say one word to each other as Matt drove me home. I didn't want to say anything anyways. I've been up for maybe two hours, my head is pounding and It's already been a long, stressful day.
Matt pulled up on the street in front of my house.
"Thanks." I said as I clicked off my seat belt.
"Don't be mad at me."
"I'm just tired."
"I'm sorry. Just about- y'know."
"I don't want to talk about it. Thanks again."
"Any time." He mumbled as I stepped out of the car. I took myself up to to the front door, unlocked it and stepped inside. I threw my keys on the little wooden table and kicked off my shoes. I rubbed my eyes as I walked to the kitchen. I heard the front door swing open and I turned around. "Ok, no. You're mad, and I understand, but I'm not leaving you like this because it makes me feel shitty." I groaned.
"Matt, please. I'm just so exhausted and hungry and my head hurts..."
"I know, I know..." I turned back to the kitchen and went to the fridge, opened it and started looking for any kind of food. "What did he say to you?" He asked.
"Matt..."
"Hope, no. He's a fucking dick. Like, did he threaten you? Did he say something that... I don't know. Did he-" I shut the fridge.
"Well, he told me he slept with this girl last night because he was mad, he then made me the bad guy and told me that I was sleeping with you, he got mad at me when really he's the fucking idiot, and he doesn't even understand that what he did last night was bad. That's the sum of it." I told him and Matt kinda looked at me confused but furious.
"Ok, fuck him. If he ever comes near you or does anything I'll kill him. He can't do this to you. He just needs to let it go. If there's anything I can do just tell me."
"I'm fine."
"Clearly you're not."
"Matt, stop! I'm fine, I'm totally fine. Just please stop talking. I think you're making it worse here. I just want to drop it and pretend it never happened."
"You can't just pretend it never happened because it did!"
"Wow, did it!? Did it happen?" I asked sarcastically.
"Hope, don't do that! I'm just trying to help and you're just-"
I did the worst thing that I could think of and I don't even know why. Is it the worst thing? Or the best thing? I don't know. Maybe it's in the middle. I surprised myself because I don't think I thought it through.
I stepped to Matt and kissed him. Don't know why.
Do I regret it? I should. Do I though? No.
It shut him up.
I blame it on anger.
So, I kissed him. Matt was shocked that he actually didn't kiss me back for a moment because he didn't know what I was doing. I don't even know what I was doing. Ok, maybe I do regret this. I stopped and stood there. Matt looked at me. I regret it. I regret everything. That's the look of judgement. I can feel it. I fucked up.
Matt wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and slowly pulled me in to kiss him.
Okay.
Whoa.
What?
I could hear the cheering and clapping of the audience in the back of my head as if Rachel kissed Ross after finding out what he did on prom night.
I lightly put my arms around his torso and he kept pecking my lips softly. And then, AND THEN, oh my goodness, his other hand held my waist as his lips started slowly moving against mine. I could feel my heart ready to explode. Let me tell you... He's a good kisser.
I kind of want to rip his head off but kiss his brains out at the same time.
I felt his hand move to my lower back.
It was so weird. Not in a bad way but it was weird in a weird way. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I just wanted to keep doing it.
We stopped kissing each other and I looked up to Matt who's inches away from my face. We didn't say anything because I don't think we knew what to say. Do I pretend nothing happened? Do I... I dont know. I finally made my mouth make noises.
"Um," I mumbled. "Uh," I couldn't say anything.
"Yea." He said softly with a little laugh and I smiled. Neither of us moved. Instead of leaving he kissed me again.
As much as I don't want to admit it, it was really making me feel better for some reason. Not 100% because of him, but more because this is bad. This is bad and I'm just angry.
I ran my hand down his arm.
I like arms, ok? Arms are nice.
Ok, this is good. Wait no, I mean bad. This is bad. In a bad, good way.
"Hope?" I heard Sherrie call. Matt and I pulled away from each other as quick as we could. I stepped to the other side of the kitchen.
"Yea?" I covered my mouth with my fist, looking at the ground. Matt leaned back on the counter and curled in his lips.
"Hi Sherrie." Matt said, letting her know he's here. Sherrie came in the kitchen.
"Hey guys." She said, not looking so pleased with me.
"Uh, I was just making sure Hope was all good. I should..." Matt motioned to the front of the house. "... get going."
"Yea." I mumbled.
I followed Matt to the front door. He put his shoes on, opened the door and gave me a smile.
"I'll see you later." I smiled back at him.
"Ok." I shut the door behind him after he left. I turned around and Sherrie came out of the kitchen. "Ok, hi, yes, I left the house without you saying I'm aloud. But I'm a teenager, I mess up sometimes. I didn't even have a good time-"
"I heard you leave last night Hope, you're not that quiet." She told me and I stared at her.
"Oh." I mumbled. "Well then what's the big deal? You technically let me go because you could've stopped me."
"It doesn't work that way. You still went against what I said. And as the mother-figure I need to punish you because that's what normal people do."
"I already had a shitty day and night and stuff so... No, thank you." Sherrie glared at me.
"Hope no, I don't care if you're hungover or whatever you did to make your night crappy, but you're grounded. No friends over, no video games... And especially no boyfriend over. At all."
"Ok, well, you don't have to worry about that because that's done. So, you're probably happy about that." I said.
"Hey, no. I never said I didn't like him. It's just he made you do things that you would never do without him."
"No, he didn't make me do anything but I don't care anymore."
"Wanna talk about it?" Sherrie asked.
"Nope. I'm going upstairs." I turned to the stairs. "No TV, no video games, no life... Gotcha." I could sense Sherrie rolling her eyes behind me as I walked upstairs. I shut the door and flopped onto my bed.
I rubbed my face.
What a long day.
I stared up at the ceiling and smiled, covering my mouth. I shouldn't be smiling, I shouldn't be happy. I should be crying my eyes out and screaming and throwing things, shouldn't I? But I feel ok. Frustrated and confused... but ok. Almost like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder. Sure, I'm sad. I thought Mark was a great guy and, I don't want to say it, but Sherrie was right. He did make me do things I didn't want to do especially go to the party and stuff. I was wrong. He's sucked and I was just blind pretty much the whole time.
But who cares anymore. I sure don't. He can go fuck himself.
I kissed Matt though.
Holy shit.
Like...?
It was such a bad bad thing. I shouldn't have done that and it was a mistake. It's going to be awkward and never ever the same. What if I just ruined our friendship? I totally did. Everything is ruined.
Everything.
I mean, I dreamt about kissing him. Not literally but, y'know, I thought about it. I had a crush on him ever since I met him. But I'm not dumb. I knew it would never work. And it can't because... Well, wouldn't it be weird? So that's why I just dropped it. Pushed the thought out of my head and carried on.
I don't know what got into me. I'm so stupid.
Ugh.
I started pounding my forehead with my palm.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I mumbled to myself. "Fuck."
I jumped off my bed and tugged off my pants, changing into comfy shorts. I don't think I'm ever giving this sweater back. I groaned and crawled in bed. Yes, it's only, what? Four? But who cares. I deserve to sleep for the rest of the day and not think about any of this crap.
There was a small knock on my door.
"What?" I looked up and Sherrie came in.
"Wanna talk about it?" I groaned and dropped my head on my pillow. "You can tell me anything, you know."
"I know."
"Well..."
"There's nothing to say. We broke up."
"You guys were fine yesterday when I saw you." She told me.
"Well, there was an argument. I really don't wanna talk right now."
"Alright, I get it. You can talk to me if you feel like it." She paused, waiting for an answer but I didnt say anything. "I'm going to go make food." I groaned again and Sherrie left.
Maybe I'll sleep and all problems will go away.
-
So, I napped then had dinner with Sherrie in front of the TV. We didn't talk much which was fine with me. Didn't feel like talking at all. Sherrie made me a sundae with chocolate sauce, strawberries and bananas which was really really good and I think I deserved that. I went to bed early but fell asleep late, probably around two am.
I was thinking so much and it sucked. I was thinking of Matt a lot and just stuff.
God, I'm such an ass. The biggest ass in the world. I destroyed two relationships on 24 hours, I think that's a new record for me.
I woke up with a startle when I heard my phone ring. I groaned and grabbed it.
Matt.
I looked at the digital clock beside my bed and the red lights told me it was 8:36 in the morning.
I cleared my throat. "Matt?" I closed my eyes, keeping the phone to my ear. "Matt, it's eight in the morning."
"No, no, yes, I know. Are you home? There's no car in the driveway."
"It's eight am on a Sunday, of course I'm home? Sherrie has a client. What's going on?" I yawned and looked up at the ceiling.
"Oh, ok, yea. One sec." There was the sound of shuffling then the line went dead.
Um, what?
There were three loud knocks on the front door which scared me out of bed. I grabbed my shorts and quickly put them on as I jogged downstairs. The door opened when I was half way down the stairs. Matt came in and quickly kicked off his shoes. He's wearing his favourite pair of black skinny jeans, which has a little hole in the knee that always bothered me, and a white tank with a grey sweater. He looks tired but so awake at the same time.
Still adorable.
"Hey-hi." Matt shut the door. "How're you?" He gave me a smile as he put his hands in his sweater pockets and walked a bit into the living room so I followed. He's very fidgety. "That was all you, right? Like, it wasn't me..." He talked with his hands. "... You can't get mad at me, right?"
"What?" I asked confused. "How much coffee have you had?"
"Oh, a shit load." I laughed and Matt smiled at me. "But, no, you kissed me, yea? You can't get mad at me? It was not my doing." I shook my head and brushed my hair with my fingers then scratched my neck. "I was in a middle of a sentence, I was giving you no signs, I wasn't thinking about you in that way and-"
"Ok, yea, I kissed you, but then you kissed me!"
"Because you kissed me first! So I just- y'know!"
"I was in the moment."
"What even was the moment!?" Matt asked.
"I don't know." I whined.
"Ok, well..." Matt paused and was moving around his hands in the air. "Ok." I laughed.
"It was a mistake anyways. I'm just going through things, I'm a girl and emotional." Matt looked up with his lost puppy dog eyes.
"Mistake?" He said.
"Well, was it?" Matt nodded.
"No, yea."
"Which one?" He laughed at himself and rubbed his face.
"I'm so sorry, I'm exhausted and I think I'm going to pass out." He dropped his hands. "Um, no. It wasn't a mistake." My heart dropped. "For a while now I've been feeling something for you and, like..." Matt made an unhuman groan. "I didn't want to do anything because, I don't know, I was iffy about it. I know you liked me but-"
"Was it that obvious?" I mumbled and Matt smiled. He's been smiling a lot.
"No, Faith told me way back."
"Well, I'm going to kill her."
"But, I just find myself wanting to be with you all the time." I slowly nodded and didn't know what to say. My insides were rolling around. "I'm freaking you out. Oh, god-" He grabbed and pulled at his hair. "I'm totally freaking you out right now, you don't feel the same-" Matt started walking in small circles.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're jumping to conclusion here. You're not freaking me out." He groaned and looked back at me. "It'd be weird. You're friends with Josh, Josh is with Faith, Faith is my sister, then I'd be dating you... It's like a weird relationship square." Matt avoided looking at me and scratched the back of his head. "What?" He shook his head. "What?" I asked again.
"They kinda broke up."
"What? No. He would've told me."
"He told me just before he left." Matt said and I sat on the edge of the couch.
"Why would he do that? Does he not know what just happened in her life?"
"It was Faith. He told me she just wants time." I rubbed my face and yawned with a groan.
"Why?" I mumbled. "Anything else the ass say?" I asked. Matt shook his head then it was quiet.
"Ok," Matt clapped his hands. "Back on track..." He jumped up and down like he's getting ready to run a marathon. He groaned, more like screamed. "I really wanna kiss you - But I'm not! I just really wanna hug you and be with you and do things with you like hold your hand and take you for coffee but call them dates and all that other cute garbage!" I feel like his heart is beating a thousand miles a minute. "You know when it hit me?" I didn't answer. "Your moms funeral. I dont know if that's a good thing to say about someone at a funeral, but it's true." I looked at his lips as he talked. "That's when I realized you were right in front of me, this whole time, and I was so dumb to not see it." He paused, seeing if I was going to say anything. "When Faith was in the hospital all I wanted to do was hold you and make you feel better and tell you everything was going to be ok." I looked at his eyes and he meant every word.
I can't say anything. I don't know why but that was just a lot to take in.
Matt looked down, almost with disappointment on his face. I stood from the couch.
"Matt - ok, listen..."
"It's ok." He mumbled.
"What?"
"It's ok, really. You're right, it'll be weird, just pretend it didn't happen. I don't need an answer, really." Matt turned and headed to the front.
"Matt stop. Don't act like that." I followed and he put on his shoes.
"I'll see you later." He said and left. I didn't do anything. I stood there, staring at the door in confusion.
Ok... What?