Complicated (Marianas Trench Fanfic) (Fight For Something Sequel)

Chapter Four - Little Princess

Matt and I left into the hallway. It was quiet as we made our way to the back parking lot. It's not awkward, it's just... Should I say something? No, I shouldn't. What do I say anyways? Well, I could make small talk... But small talk isn't good, it's just bad. No one likes it.
We came to the big glass doors that lead out to the parking lot. I walked outside and Matt followed me to the end of the sidewalk.
"Hope?" I turned to Matt. He stood in front of me, just a couple feet away.
"Yea?" This conversations can go so many ways... A big argument and end of friendship... We'll fall in love and plan our children... Or any way in between.
"Sorry I kinda ran out the other day." I smiled a bit.
"It's ok."
"I was tired and crazy." Matt laughed at himself. "Just don't get into a conversation with me after I pulled an all nighter." He joked and I smiled. "Now that I've thought about it for a long time, I acted ridiculous. It just freaked me out because it just sounded like everything was going downhill."
"Well, you didn't let me talk." I told him and he smiled.
"I know, I know.
"Matt, it's totally fine, really."
"Then come over and we'll just talk. We can talk all night." He said happily and I smiled at the ground.
"I-... I don't know. Sherrie's gonna be here soon and we were just going to make dinner and hang out and..." I looked up at Matt and lost my train of thought as I noticed he was watching me closely as I spoke with just the slightest smile. "... and yea." I said, finishing the sentence, not knowing where I was going with it.
"Alright, I get it, you don't want to hang with me." Matt said sarcastically and I smacked his shoulder.
"Shut up." I told him and he laughed.
"I'll talk to you later then. I mean, if you feel like listening to my voice."
"I didn't mean it that way, you ass."
"I know, I know. You love me." I scowled at him and all he did was smile. "I'll see you later."
"Ok." I couldn't help it. No matter what mood I'm in, Matt always makes me smile. I could be on my death bed and I'll be smiling my ass off if he entered the room.
As Matt walked past me to leave, he stopped for a quick moment to bring his finger tips to the side my neck and his lips to my cheek. It felt like the moment lasted forever but, when it did end, it felt like it lasted only a split second. Matt continued to walk across the street to the little parking lot where his car was and he did a little skip. Well, in my head he did a little skip. In my head he's smiling like an idiot and butterflies are going nuts in his stomach.
My face got hot and my mouth is probably wide open with tongue hanging out the side and drool dripping... I'm just assuming.
I watched Matt walk to his car and I had to snap myself back to reality. I turned and started walking down the sidewalk, closer to the front of the Hospital. I saw Sherrie's car and got into the drivers side.
"You're smiley." Sherrie stated happily as I put my seatbelt on.
"Hm?- Oh, well, I had a good time."
"So you guys had fun?"
"Yea, we just hung out and talked. It was good." Sherrie started the car and headed to the road. "I was thinking we should do something for Faith on Friday when she comes home, like a little welcome back thing. Maybe Matt can come and we could make a nice dinner or something."
"That's a great idea, yea."
"Tacos. We should make tacos. Everyone loves tacos."
"We could do tacos." Sherrie said with a laugh.
We drove home and I felt extra smiley. My insides are happy and fuzzy and warm. I don't think I've ever felt like this and it's just weird.
I don't know how we got here to be honest... Matt and I.
First It started as Matt just being my sister's friend and I would see him occasionally. I would hang out with Faith, Josh and him. We would make jokes and laugh and goof around as we would make a midnight trip to Dairy Queen or something. Now look where we are. Slowly developing into something. We're low-key sneaking around behind everyones back. Going out for coffee, sleeping together (literal sleep), holding hands, spewing our hearts out all over the place... And other stuff.
It's not weird. Ive been thinking about it a lot and the more I think the more I want to be with him. Just like he said, all I want to do is go on little dates with him and hug him and hold his hand and kiss him. A lot.
I know before I said 'Well, wouldn't it be weird?', 'We shouldn't', blah blah blah. Well, it wouldn't be weird. Sure, it would be hard if we wanted to lay low for a while but I can live with it. Id rather be with Matt and hide it than not be with him at all. Even if we didn't become a thing there would always be this tension between us.
I want it to happen. Badly.
The thing is, I just broke up with Mark. Literally just did. A part of me says this is too fast but another part of me says "fuck it" and wants to just jump on to Matt.
"What do you want for dinner?" I looked up to Sherrie from the couch, snapping out of my thoughts.
"Huh?" Sherrie laughed a bit,
"What do you want for dinner?" She asked again.
"Oh, oh, uh, doesn't matter, anything." Sherrie sat beside me.
"Well, I don't feel like actually cooking so how about we order something. Like sushi?"
"Sushi sounds fabulous." Sherrie grabbed her laptop from the coffee table to make the order.
So Sherrie ordered food and, just like any normal person, we ate it.
My mind is everywhere and I'm kind of over thinking.
Like...
Matt and I still haven't REALLY talked. Sure, he said sorry for walking out which was rude and blah blah blah but we really didn't talk. Like... He told me everything. He told me what he thought of me and what he thought of us... But what're we gonna do with that information? We could drop it and just think this is stupid or go with the flow and see what happens...
This is just a whole mess. Why does living always have to be a mess? Things should just be simple. Yes or no answers. Everyone can just say what they want to say and that's it. Done. Finish.
Sherrie and I ate, we watched a really stupid movie that I don't know the name of, then I decided to take a shower and go to bed.
I closed my bedroom door after taking my shower then walked over to my closet, holding a towel around me. I looked through my tees and tried to find a big shirt, anything to go to bed in. I pushed hangers aside and came to the grey sweater I took from Matt's place the other day. I thought about giving this back but I don't really think that'll happen. I took the sweater from the hanger and underwear from my drawer.
I put on the sweater and tugged on underwear then crawled into bed after turning the lights off. I don't even know why I'm in bed. I can't sleep. I'm not tired...
What did Matt mean when he said he'll talk to me later if I wanted to hear is voice? Does that mean he'll call me? No it's already late, he won't call. I'll see him tomorrow maybe. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe we'll go have coffee like we normally do. I'll call him after school and see what he's up too. Yea. That's a good plan.
-
I can't sleep. It's 1am and Sherrie went to bed about an hour ago. This is stupid. I want to sleep and it's not happening. I've been laying here for what feels like forever, almost wide awake on my phone, going from game to game. I think I stared at the ceiling for a good thirty minutes at one point.
I was playing good ol' Tetris when my phone started to vibrate in my hand. The caller ID told me it was Matt and I smiled but my heart flopped around in my chest. I sat up and leaned back on the wall before answering my phone.
"Hello?" I said quietly with a smile.
"Hey." Matt said happily. "I didn't wake you did I? I wanted to call earlier but that obviously didn't happen."
"No, I'm up, couldn't sleep."
"Ok, good." Matt paused. "What're you doing?" He asked, making small talk and I laughed a bit. I could hear in his voice he was overly happy.
"I'm just sitting in bed, nothing too exciting."
"Oh, wow, that's fun." I chuckled. "Could I ask you something?"
"Maybe." He laughed.
"What would've been your answer?" He asked sweetly. "Would we ever happen? At all?" I could feel my face getting hot and I'm kind of glam he's not here to see it. Fuck, I want to jump out a window. "I understand if you don't want to or you want to wait or just be friends, I get it."
"Mmmaybe." I said happily with a smile and Matt took my little sarcasm positively.
"Alright, I can live with that." He told me.
"Can I ask you something now?"
"Maybe."
"You meant all that stuff?" I asked, not really explaining my thoughts.
"What stuff?" I started fiddling with my thumb, picking at the skin around my nail.
"You want to kiss me. You want to take me on dates and- and hug me and be with me and stuff?" I could hear him laugh under his breath.
"Yea," Matt said "I meant all of it." He cleared his throat. "And you either think I'm a fucking freak for saying all that or that I'm hopelessly romantic. But I meant it." Matt paused for a moment and I couldn't help but smile. "You know when people say they like someone? They just say 'Yea, I like them, they're amazing and pretty and I want to date them'. That's not what I'm thinking." He waited to see if I'd say something but I couldn't gather my thoughts. "Of course I think you're fucking beautiful and amazing-" I smiled down at my hand. "But there's something more than 'I like you'. There's just something about you," He laughed quietly at himself as if he thinks he's being ridiculous. "I don't know why but I'll sit there and listen to you talk for six hours about your problems or your love for animals - anything. I'll sit with you in silence, I'll kiss you for hours if you want." I laughed a little with a huge idiotic smile on my face. Sounds good. "I don't care, I'll do anything for you and it's weird. This feeling is just... weird."
I was getting emotional. Not sad but just this big fuzzy feeling inside. No one ever said something like that to me. No one ever went into that much detail of how they feel for me. I never thought someone would ever like me like this. Ever.
I didn't know what to say. I should say something. I need to say something.
"I know the feeling."
"Can I come over?" Matt asked out of the blue and I laughed a bit. "I want to see you."
"Sherrie's asleep and, well, it's 1am and I probably look like trash."
"No you don't." He told me.
"How do you know?"
"Because I just know." I laughed and heard Matt shuffle around.
"So, I'm gonna come over and you can either let me in or not."
"Are you actually?" I asked.
"Yes ma'am." He said happily.
"But that means I need to brush my hair and shit."
"Do you really think I care if you brush your hair or not?" Matt asked with a little chuckle.
"No... Whatever... I'm still technically grounded, y'know."
"It's ok, I'll be very quiet. I'll be there in five." I giggled like the stupid person I am.
"Ok, bye." Matt and I hung up. I stood from my bed and turned on my light to brush my hair and find my blue pyjama shorts. I tugged them on, put deodorant on and some body mist. Smelling like flowers is the best thing in the world.
I stood in the middle of my room and my heart started to pump faster with excitement.
Matt's coming over.
To see me. Me?
Just the thought is giving me butterflies.
I turned off my light and slowly brought myself into the hall. I carefully closed my door and brought myself downstairs. Trying to be as quiet as possible, once again. I sat on the bottom step and looked outside, waiting until Matt gets here.
I can't really explain what I'm feeling. I'm excited to see Matt. He gives me this weird feeling inside that just makes me happy and, well, it's just hard to explain.
After a couple minutes I saw the lights of a car pull up to the driveway and I stood up, slowly unlocking the door. I opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door behind me. Matt walked up the front steps with a tray filled with two Tim Horton cups. He wore dark grey sweatpants, a white tank and a red plaid flannel with the buttons undone, the sleeves pushed up and his shaggy hair to the side. He smiled.
"Hello gorgeous." Matt said quietly.
I think I snorted.
"Coffee?" I asked
"Oh, no." Matt took out one of the cups from the tray and handed me it. "Hot chocolate. You wouldn't sleep if it was coffee."
"That's very true." I brought myself to the front steps and sat on the porch, holding the my hot chocolate close to my chest to keep me warm. Matt sat close beside me, opening the tab of his hot chocolate lid.
"Don't want to go inside?"
"Na, don't want to wake up Sherrie." I told him and took a sip of my hot chocolate. Matt looked over to me with a smile and I smiled back. "You're not suppose to be here." Matt shrugged.
"What? Am I not aloud to come over and see one of my friends?"
Friends. Is that what we are?
"Well, yea, but at two in the morning?" He laughed a little with another shrug.
"I'm not tired." I smiled down at my hot chocolate. Why does this boy give me the worst butterflies?
"So, Sherrie and I were talking and we said that on Friday, when Faith comes home, we should make tacos and everyone's invited... Everyone as in you, me, Sherrie and Faith."
"Tacos?" He asked
"Yea, what's wrong with tacos?"
"Nothing, I love Tacos!" I laughed.
"So, Taco's and probably movies or games or pretty much whatever she wants to do."
"Sounds like my kind of party." Matt joked. I smiled and shook my head slightly as his stupid words.
Silence came, but not the awkward type. We sat there and enjoyed each other as we sipped on our hot chocolate, our shoulders lightly rubbing up against each others. It's a pretty chilli night now that I think about it, especially with just shorts and a sweater. I looked up to the sky and it's dark and cloudy with no star in sight, just the light from the moon sneaking in between the clouds.
"Do you ever think about stuff like... like what if you made a different decision in the past that could've changed you're whole future?" I asked out of the blue.
"What'd you mean?"
"Like, what if, years ago, I decided to go to a different school? I maybe would've never met Mik and my other friends and I could totally be a different person right now. I could be a total bitch." Matt nodded with a laugh.
"Yea, I gotcha. I do think about that sometimes, yea."
"Sometimes I think about-..." I paused as I put my hot chocolate on the step beside me and thought if I should say what I'm about to say. "I think about what it would be like with mom and dad." I laughed at myself. "That sounds really sad but I'm serious." Matt kept his eyes on me as I spoke. "What if they kept me after I was born. So many things would be different... I know my dad was apparently a bad person and mom had her own problems, but I've never experienced having a mom and a dad." Matt put his hot chocolate on the stone and looked at me as if he was paying close attention to every word I said. "Were they not planning on having another kid?"
"It doesn't matter what did or didn't happen because we're here now."
"I know. I just feel like because I came I fucked everything up."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't say that." Matt told me. "It's not true." The look in his eyes almost scared me as he stared me down.
"I don't feel like that all the time. I'm just, y'know... Spitballin'."
"Well, stop." He ordered in a joking tone.
"But just think about this..." I said, turning more towards him on the stone step. "What if nothing happened with Faith. Life was happy and we still didn't know about each other..."
"Okaaay?"
"That means we would've never met. What would you do?"
"What would I do?" Matt asked.
"Yea. Like, what would you do if you saw me?" He laughed a bit.
"Ok, well, where would you be? Mall with friends or in a coffee shop?"
"Um, in a coffee shop, alone, sitting on a couch with my laptop." Matt looked over across the houses, thinking.
"Hmm, ok. So I'd walk in to get my daily coffee. The place isn't that packed and there's a couple people ordering coffee and some just lounging around... And then I'd look over and, oh my god, there she'd be," he looked over at me and talked with his hands, motioning to me. "The most beautiful, gorgeous, smart, kind, loving, outstanding, awesome, beautiful lady, sitting there." I kept my eyes on Matt as he spoke and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. But in a good way.
"You said beautiful twice."
"I know what I said." I laughed.
"And then what?"
"Well, after the butterflies go away and I get my coffee I would think about talk to you. I would glance over every once in a while like the creep I am and then finally, after thinking about every scenario possible, I'd come over and ask if I can sit in the chair across from you. You'd say of course because, well, look at me." I blurted a laugh. "I'd sit, ask what your doing, I'd make small talk and then we'd end up talking for way too long." I smiled. "And then, as we're leaving, I'd ask if I'd ever see you again."
"And what would I say?" I asked.
"You would look at me with those eyes and be hesitant but just for a second and then you'd say yes. And the rest is history." Matt said dramatically and I nodded.
"Very detailed, good answer."
"I'm a charmer, aren't I?" He slowly put his arm around my lower back and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and smiled like an idiot. Matt took my hand in his lap and took my fingers between his. I looked up at him and he was looking down at our hands, our fingers slowly brushing past each other. I admired his facial features. I admired his dark brown eyes, his adorable nose and his lovable mouth and just everything. Matt looked down at me after realizing I was staring at him. He smiled. "I should go. We kinda both have school tomorrow anyways."
"I guess." We both sat up and stood from the steps.
"I'll see you sometime tomorrow, yea?" I nodded with a smile. Matt tugged me in for a hug and I buried myself in his chest.
He smells good. Like that spicy smoke smell.
Matt kept his arms around me for a minute and I just wanted to stay there forever. He dropped his arms and smiled. I kinda waited to see if he'd kiss me. I wanted him to but no.
"I'll see you later."
"Bye." Matt grabbed his hot chocolate which probably isn't too hot by now and started walking to his car that was in the driveway. I stood there with my arms crossed, keeping me warm. Matt put his Tim Hortons cup on the roof of his car as he took out his keys to unlock the door.
"Matt?" I said.
"Hope?" He said jokingly as he turned around. I dropped my arms as I smiled over at him.
"Kiss me." Matt smirked down at the car keys in his hand then put them in his pant pocket. He looked up at me and walked over. I exhaled shakily as Matt stood close, just looking down at me. He brought his hand to my cheek, lightly touching my skin with his palm as he leaned down to kiss me. He pecked my lips quickly and stepped back with a sarcastic smiled as if that was it, but he knew it wasn't.
I grabbed the collar of his plaid flannel and pulled him to my lips. He didn't fight it. Matt didn't have much time to react. He almost fell over but caught himself and wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, making sure he kept his lips on mine. I kissed him slowly and with caution, every now and then our lips would only brush up against one another and nothing more. I took my fingertips to his arm as he pecked my lips twice, slowly and sweetly.
We looked at each other and I couldn't help it but smile up at him. Matt rested his forehead on mine and brought his hands to my lover back. I closed my eyes, just embracing this moment, taking in the fact that this is happening.
I heard a noise that startled both Matt and I. The swing of a door opening with it's un-oiled hinges made Matt and I push away from each other. I quickly turned to see Sherrie in her pyjama pants and a tank with her hair tied back.
"Heeey." I said, extending the word way too long. Matt smiled at her, almost with a laugh.
"Hey Sherrie." I could feel my face getting red and my heart starting to beat faster. For all she knows we were hugging, nothing big.
"You guys know it's two o'clock in the morning right?" From the way she's acting, it seems like she's not freaking out.
"Yea, yea, uh, Matt just had stuff to talk about." I lied.
"Yea, I was just going, I'll see you later." Matt stepped down to the driveway. "Bye Sherrie."
"Bye Matt." She said. Matt got in his car and I smiled like a little princess to Sherrie like nothing happened. "Mhmm." She leaned against the door frame with her hand on her hip and an expression across her face that I didn't like. She motioned for me to get inside and I did, walking past her.
Fuck.

-

(A/N) Sorry for the really really late update! Hoped you liked it! Comment/Vote! <3