Small Cuts (Supernatural Dark!fic)

o n e - h u n d r e d + f o u r

"My head is a madhouse
It lives inside of me
Yeah, I'm feeling trapped now
I can't escape my dreams" 
Madhouse - Call Me Karizma 

The night stretched on, the silence in the room heavy and suffocating. Amara hadn't moved, hadn't spoken. She felt numb, lost in the swirl of emotions that seemed to press in from all sides. Outside her door, Sam and Dean took turns watching over her, their voices low, trying to coax her into speaking. But each time she heard them, it only made the weight of her fear heavier.

They didn't know. They couldn't understand. And worse, they had hidden things from her—things she never should have found out. The things Crowley had told her, the things she had pried from their minds—they all collided in her thoughts, making her feel even more alone, even more afraid.

They don't trust you. They never have.

The Entity's whispers crept back into her mind, twisting her thoughts until she couldn't tell what was real and what was fear. She felt the sting of betrayal, not just from Sam and Dean, but from Castiel as well. He had been her friend—her best friend—and yet, he had kept things from her too.

The door creaked open, and Amara didn't need to look up to know who it was. Castiel stepped inside, his presence quiet, but familiar. She had always found comfort in him—in his blunt honesty, in the way he never sugarcoated things. But now, that same honesty felt like a lie.

"Amara," his voice was soft, gentle, but she could hear the worry in it. "Please, talk to me."

She didn't respond. Her eyes remained fixed on the floor, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. She didn't trust herself to speak. She didn't trust him.

Castiel moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. "I know you're hurting. I know... you feel betrayed."

Amara flinched at his words, the truth of them cutting through her like a knife. She was betrayed. By all of them. They had kept things from her—things she had only learned by prying into their minds. Things Crowley had confirmed when she was desperate enough to turn to him for answers.

"You lied to me," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You all lied to me."

Castiel's face tightened with regret, but he didn't deny it. "We were trying to protect you."

Amara's hands shook, the anger and fear bubbling up inside her. "Protect me? You think keeping the truth from me was protecting me?"

Castiel sighed, his voice heavy. "We didn't want to overwhelm you. What's happening to you... it's bigger than any of us. We thought—"

"You thought I couldn't handle it," she spat, her voice sharp. She turned to face him now, her eyes wet with unshed tears. "You thought I was too fragile, too weak to know the truth."

Castiel's gaze softened, but his silence told her everything. They had thought she couldn't handle it. They had all thought she wasn't strong enough to face what was happening to her.

Amara's chest tightened, the hopelessness settling in. "You're just like the rest of them. You kept things from me, Castiel. You lied to me."

He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off, her voice shaking. "I know what you've been hiding. I used my powers on Sam and Dean. I saw the things they didn't want me to see. I know they're afraid of me, and I know you are too."

Castiel's eyes widened, and for the first time, his calm demeanour faltered. "Amara—"

"I didn't want to do it," she continued, her voice cracking. "But I had to know. I had to know why everyone was hiding things from me. Why no one would tell me the truth. And now... now I know."