Arranged Love

Love Amidst Pain

ROSHNI

I blinked my eyes slowly, struggling to adjust my vision to the light. As I tilted my head, I felt a sharp pain in my head, making me hiss. Suddenly a girl dressed in uniform of nurse rushed towards me, "Are you ok, mam?"

The memories of me falling down the stairs flashed on my mind and I immediately placed my hands on my stomach. "My baby..." I looked at the nurse with tears, "Where is my baby?"

She remained silent for what felt like an eternity before speaking, "Sorry mam, you had a miscarriage."

"Miscarriage?" I felt numb. She then asked me something else but I couldn't hear it. The word 'miscarriage' was echoing in my mind.

The nurse went out of the room in a hurry while I continued to lay there on the bed. A few moments later, Prachi entered the room with the same nurse behind her.

"Roshni" Prachi whispered my name as if she doubt I still remembered her. "How are you feeling now?"

"Fine" I mumbled. I still feel pain in my head but it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

The silence between us deepened in each second. I didn't looked at Prachi instead I stared at the ceiling as if it held the answers to my sorrows.

"Rajiv uncle and Swetha aunty are outside. I'll tell them." Prachi said. I looked at her but didn't replied anything. Taking my lack of silence as yes she left the room followed by the nurse.

I was not expecting papa and maa to wait for me outside my room when I wake up from the horrible accident. I ached to see Aman. He is the one person who could understand my thoughts without a single word. There was a fear deep within me - what if he no longer loves me? What if he too turned like maa?

The door opened and papa and maa entered the room. I could see relief on papa's face but I didn't had the courage to look at maa to see her reaction.

Papa came towards my bed and caressed my head. "Roshni, you scared us. When we found you...you were drenched in blood." His eyes welled up with tears while remembering about the traumatic sight.

I don't remember much from the details of the accident. I remember listening to a strange sound from upstairs and someone pushing me down the stairs. Whenever I try to remember more I feel a stabbing pain inside my head. Papa and maa must have saw me when they returned home and rushed to the hospital with me.

I avoided looking into papa's eyes. It is not because I might burst into tears if I looked at him. Despite losing my baby my tears refused to come out and I don't want papa to misunderstand me that I'm not feeling sad after losing my baby.

"We can't change what happened in the past. Whatever happened, it happened. Now try to accept the harshness of the reality and look at your future." He said as he continued to pat my head.

"Aman went to home just ten minutes ago. He was here beside you this whole time. Today morning he refused to go home as if he knew you would wake up now. I had to force him to go home to freshen up. I'll call him now and tell him you are awake. He will come here in record time." Papa said smiling and taking out his phone to call Aman.

He went outside to call Aman, leaving me and maa alone in the room. I mustered up my courage and looked up at her face. She was staring me with disbelief, pain and something else. Deep down, a part of me had a hope that she would wrap her arms around me and console me. Maybe after the accident she would feel some pity on me and love me like before. But I couldn't ignore the negative thoughts in my head.

Maa didn't bothered to come near me or said anything as I expected. Instead she moved towards the door and prepared to leave. I continued to lay on the bed, watching her walk away from me with pain.

As she reached near the door she suddenly stopped and turned back to me. "You could have simply aborted the child instead of creating a drama." Her each words were filled with hate towards me.

"You are just a burden on my son now. It would have been less painful for us if you had died instead of the child." Tears streamed down her face and she rushed out of the room leaving me alone in the room.

I laid on the hospital bed and realised that I didn't shed a single tear yet. I didn't cry when Prachi told me that I lost my baby and even now, after listening to maa's harshest words I didn't shed a single tear. I think something must have happened to me during the fall and I lost my capacity to cry.

I felt my eyes becoming heavy and I slowly shut my eyes and fell into deep sleep.

When I woke up from my sleep the sun had already set. It looks like hours had passed. The same nurse who was with me earlier was present in the room, looking through my medicines.

When she noticed that I'm awake she came towards me. "Mam, are you ok?" I slowly nodded my head.

"Your husband is waiting outside. I'll go and call him." She informed me and then went outside.

After a few minutes Aman came inside. He had changed a lot from the last time I had seen him. His hair had grown and looked messy, there were dark circles under his eyes and his face was filled with short beard. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

I was preparing myself for the worst but when he came closer and held my hand, I was surprised by his actions. He cupped my face and  bent down and kissed on my forehead. I could feel warm water droplets falling on my face and I realised that he is crying.

"You have no idea how much you scared me. For a second I thought I lost everything." Aman said lifting his head and looking into my eyes. It was my first time seeing him cry. His eyes were red and swollen and it broke my heart to watch him like this.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him, "Aman.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." I repeated, my voice cracked. "It's all my fault..." And for the first time since the accident hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

"It's not your fault. I know you will be so scared. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me." He whispered and kissed on my forehead again.

He gently wiped my tears. "I've never been this scared before. You've been in a coma for two weeks. I don't know how I even survived these past two weeks."

What?

Two weeks?

My eyes widened in disbelief. I couldn't believe that I went to coma stage for two weeks.

There was a gentle knock on the door, interrupting us. Aman went to open it and the nurse entered inside. She came towards me holding a tray and said to Aman, "I'm sorry for distributing but mam has an injection now."

"It's ok, I'll be waiting outside." Aman was about to go outside but I held his hand before he could, silently requesting him to stay.

"Sir it's okay. You can stay here." The nurse assured him and Aman took a seat beside me. I held his hand as the nurse gave me injection.

"It's a strong dose so she'll sleep soon." She said and then quietly went out the room.

Aman continued to hold my hand, his hold was so  comforting and slowly I fell into deep slumber.