Xiao Zhan POV...
Our meeting ended, but I decided to think about everything and give me more time.
Although I know I hurt my family, there was a flash in my mind during the VTR is rolling to their individual story. It hurts me when they cry and feel sad, especially Wang Yibo and Mama Zen. When she hugged me, I felt warmed. She said that he can wait whatever my decision will be, but it's not that easy. I hope my memories come back so I won't hurt them. But what about the family that took care of me? I want to see the real family, but why is it so hard for me to make a decision? I saw in Yibo's eyes how sad he is with my decision today, and it's like, I feel a heavy thing here in my heart.
Before we left the conference Yibo,asked if he can make a request which I had a hard time not agreeing to.
He wants to be with his son for a few days of staying in Korea;
Mama Zen is the same; he wants to be with his grandson, and I don't have to worry that they will bring my son back safely, and they won't do anything to make me worry about not giving back my son.
I had no choice, so I agreed ,I told them I talk to my son first,and call them tomorrow
Jin mother talks to me.
"Sean, I know it's hard for you to make a decision because you worry about us. "Son. Yes, we love you, but they are your family. There are a lot of hardships when you're gone. I'm also a mother; I know how it feels
What hurts more to a mother whose her child denied her?
My tears fall about what mother Jin said.
"Please give them a chance, Sean,Okay, mother Jin,also cried
"About Yibo, although my son loves you, and I know you love him now,but what if the day comes when your memory comes back?
I thinks you love Yibo, Sean, because you didn't sacrifice your life to him.
Jin is more hurt,if the day comes"
"Mom Jin Ge, and I talk about it"
Mom Jin cuts me again.
"Sean, please don't give him hope about what you feel now. I didn't say you should leave Jin, but at least talk to him"You have a child with Yibo; if someday your child chooses to go with the father, you will not agree to not be with your child!Give Jin a reason not to hope"
Jin's mom cried even more.
"Mom, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, even Jin Ge"
"Sean, don't say sorry; we had to; we need to face it even if we hurt someone"
"Mom"I cried.
" I'm sorry" before ,I wanted to know my real family, but now I had a hard time making a decision"
"Son, we are here; we will not be lost. What is important to us is seeing the people who loved you from the time you were born" Didn't I tell you that we loved and nurtured you for six years? They loved and nurtured you from the moment you were born"
" Mom, thanks" I hugged Jin's mom.
I didn't have time to talk with Jin Ge because they immediately left because they had a flight and needed to pack.
He only messaged me,
"Take care, Sean. I'm always here. Remember, I love you so much. It hurts me so much if I lose you, but whatever your decision, I have no right to stop you. Yibo was your husband. I'm only your boyfriend. I'm not selfish; he had many suffer. Sean, think about it. Just feel your heart. Okay, thanks, Sean. I'm still your boyfriend until you decide. Okay, I love you. Take care"
I cried about what Jin Ge said, but smiled at his last word.
I messaged him too.
"Jin ge, honestly I love you not because I have dept to you, to your family, when my mind back,your the only person ,I feel a different feeling .specially because you are loving, joker, you make me happy, naughty, right now I can say I'm confused, Jin ge , when my mind back hope my heart still beat at you ,I wish, Jin ge, "but your mother is right, I hurt you more, Jin ge I'm not giving you hope,this time , nor I'm not asking you to wait ,you have your own life to be happy,hope I met you first, but Yibo had a child to me if Ayuan chooses to live to his dad ,I dont want Ayuan left me ,I'm sorry Jin ge.thanks also for everything your family ,you and the rest of BTS ,are the most people I love ,and my family.I cried again I feel hurt,because Jin ge hurt to what I said,this the right way to do for now.
