If Only She Knew REVISITED

Chapter 1

"Yes mom, I will lock my door every night don't worry, I'm nineteen now I'm not a baby anymore." I intertwine my wavy brown hair between my fingertips.

"You will always be my baby." Her voice seems calm on the other side of the line but I knew that calmness was just poorly masked.

   Smiling at her words I let out a little chuckle, I know she just wants to protect me and I'm thankful for the support she has given me, but I'm grown now, I can handle myself.

Moving to Everton to study at college was never the original plan. It was definitely a shock to my family, and especially to myself. But how could I pass up an offer to the best college program in the country? They wanted me, I wanted them, so I did it. I moved halfway across the country to follow my dream of becoming a writer. They offered the most prestigious writing program in the state, it was a tough road but I knew how much I wanted to get to the point I am now. My hometown is Seattle, don't get me wrong I loved it there but I don't think I'm cut out for city life.

   "I'll let you go now mom, it's getting late, and I still have lots of work to do." I sit up from my bed and stretch my legs while feeling the neatly tucked sheets and fluffed pillows.

   I have an eye for perfection, and one habit I can't skip in the morning is making my bed. When I was younger, someone told me you don't have a clear head if you don't have a clean bed, it stuck with me ever since. That is the reason why I have grown into a neat freak.

   Slowly, I notice a bitter taste emerging in my mouth. It probably has something to do with me not eating much recently as I'm too broke to eat a full meal. I have been living off cereal for the past 24 hours.

   Trying to shrug it off, I concentrate upon my mother once again.

   "Okay Ava, call me tomorrow please."

   "Of course, mom, I love you." I hang up the phone and throw it on the pillow to the side of me.

   It's been hard since leaving home. Growing up, I didn't realise it at the time, but my parents were giving me more than just chores. They taught me the essentials of living– how to cook, clean, and be independent. I'll never stop being thankful for that gift.

This bungalow was cheap because the place required cleaning from top to bottom before I could even think about moving in. I didn't shy away from the extra work it took and it definitely paid off. With a little help from my parents of course.

As soon as I drag myself off my bed my phone vibrates, grabbing my phone and holding it up to my ear I prepare for a familiar voice.

   "Mom, you literally just called me."

   "Excuse me, I am not your mom!" Stephanie, my best friend's voice says through the phone.

I can barely contain my excitement as warmth rushes through me. Smiling, I begin to answer, showing my happiness.

   "Oh Steph— thank god it's you I've missed you so much, how's work?" I ask, intrigued.

   "You know the same thing every day, but it help's with the bills." She hesitantly answers.

   "You don't know how much I miss you Stephy..." My inner child shines through with my words.

   "It was your choice to move halfway across the country, but I do miss you too." She answers as she adds her own opinion onto the end.

   "I know you keep saying that Steph, but I am happy you finally called." Stephanie still isn't too keen on the idea of me moving away to study with strangers when I could have gone to college with her in Seattle.

Stephanie and I first met when I stole her bike off the sidewalk aged 8. When I decided to move, she didn't talk to me for a week before I was getting ready to leave just to prove a point of how we won't speak in person when I do move away.

   However, I feel like she's slowly getting used to it now, she knows she isn't going to be the reason I neglected to chase my dreams.

   "How have you been?" I ask.

   "You know it's not as good as if you were here, but I'm coping surprisingly." Her voice seems dull.

   "I do miss the days we spent talking about nonsense until the sun came up..." I smile and laugh to myself at the same time hoping it would magically cheer her up.

   "You will tell me if you have found a new best friend and completely forgotten about me won't you?" Stephanie's voice becomes more stern.

   "Stephanie, how can I ever replace you?" I chuckle, surprised at her words.

   "True. I am one of a kind." Her voice is full of confidence. Both our chuckles fade to silence as the inevitable words come to light.

   "I really miss you Stephanie." I expose the obvious truth as she holds a silence before responding.

   "Oh yeah what do you miss the most?" I hear her laugh through the line of which makes me feel warm within my heart.

   "Probably the constant nagging in my ear to tell you the truth." I scoff.

   "Told you I would prove you wrong..." I remember her leaving speech the day before I left the city, it was filled with love but mostly us two crying on each other's shoulders. I thought I would have loved getting a break from her nagging but now I'm starting to miss it.

   "I'll let you go, you're probably so tired." I start to tear up however I try to keep my voice light to disguise my feelings.

   "Your right I am, I'll call you tomorrow Okay Av." She tries her best  to reassure me.

   "I will look forward to it. Good night Steph!" I end warmly.

   Rising to my feet, I head to the kitchen and see a bunch of unopened cardboard boxes spread across the floor and kitchen worktops.

   However, something catches my eye, a CD of one my favourite songs from when I was younger. I relive the memories of me dancing all around my bedroom singing terribly, I thought my parents threw it away.

    I hold my mouth and feel my happiness beneath my fingers as I relive my childhood. Rummaging through all the boxes I don't stop until I find the CD player, if my parents packed the song they have to have packed the player.

   "Gotcha." Running to plug in it, I finally get it working. Kids these days will never get to experience what we did when we were younger.

   Fantasy by Mariah Carey hands down one of the best songs of the nineties.

   Hearing her angelic voice in the background I never want to come back to reality, I just wanna dance in my empty kitchen to Mariah Carey forever without a care in the world.