Till We Met Again

Chapter Sixteen

                               Juniper

He looks at me with such determination, something I haven't felt in such a long time. "We will find them, all of them, together. I Promise." If only I could believe what he says with as much hope and passion as he shines. So instead I just give him a nod, and go back to staring out the window.

He hasn't seen the world in the same light as I have. We have such different experiences, and I am not trying to say that he has had it easy. No Alpha gets into their position of power having an easy life. All I am saying is that my life experience has different challenges. I have seen horrors in this world that I wouldn't wish on anyone. But despite that, it has made me the person I am today. Changed me, and challenged me, for better or worse. And I don't know how to explain that to someone who is supposed to see the light in me, in our future. Something I haven't seen for most of my life.

How do I look the love of my life and tell him, show him the worse parts of me. The parts of me I hide in the deepest depth of my soul. I know that the goddess that helped create me gave me Apollo, but I don't know how to let him in without knowing if he will turn his back on me. My mate and my guardians are supposed to be my life lines in the world, but apart of me will always believe that I am not good enough to have them. That I can face whatever I need to with out them so they don't get hurt trying to protect me.

Tears start to pool in my eyes, I don't want these people, the people made to help me get hurt. I don't even know all of them yet, and I already have such a sense of protection surrounding them. I hear Apollo stand up and come closer to me. Close enough where I can feel the heat radiating against my back. He doesn't say anything, which I am grateful for. I like to believe that he can feel that my head is already a mess that I am trying to manage. 

So instead we just stand in silence, watching out the window. Taking in each others presence but to be required to fill the gap. I don't know how long we stood there, just watching the pack train below us. Long enough I can say where the start to pack up and leave, needing time to prepare their families for the dinner tonight.

I take a deep breathe once I realize everyone has left the field. Turning around I face Apollo, "I assume being mates, I will being staying in your room. Will you please show me the way so I can get Basil and I ready for dinner." He meets my gaze and nods. "Of course, mi amore, follow me." With a small smile on my face, I turn around pick up Basil from where he stayed in the desk. Following Apollo, we head down the hallway and up a flight of stairs. 

"The second story of the pack house has most of the offices on it. It's where you would find mine as well as most other people you have met so far. When you pick and design your own, it will be on that floor as well. The third floor has bedrooms on it, there of course is a few on the second story as well. But those are mostly for the unmated, coming of age pack members. The fourth floor is the high members floor, I stay as well as Eagon on this floor. It is mostly used for when we have Alphas or Betas visiting from other packs." Apollo explains as we walk.

I look around the hallways, everything is very simple but still gives off a modern yet homey feeling to the whole house. "Will we always stay here, or will we have our own house? When we eventually have children that is." I try to ask nonchalantly. Apollo slows down reaching for my free hand and gives me a bright smile. 

"Every Alpha and Beta get their own homes, but stay in the pack house until they find their mates. It most times, ends with the female having to design and decorate their new home before they move out. I can of course show you ours at a later time. For now this is my, now our room for the time being." We stop short of a black door. Allowing Apollo to open the door, I walk in and take a look around.