MIRACLE (✔️)

44: Bouquets and Letters

Chapter 44

-Miracle Astor-

Another day has passed.

"What happened wasn't your fault, sweetheart."

"Please don't blame yourself."

"Mira, please. Talk to us."

I ignored and blocked my brothers words or just them in general. I turned my back to them and turned to my side while tightly clutching the bed sheets, not like I could press my back on the bed in the first place, it hurts so much especially now that the medication is wearing off and it's no longer numb anymore.

I look even more uglier now.

But what I found out yesterday hurts so much more. What Gabriel is feeling hurts so much more.

His father died and he died that day.

My heart was breaking for him. He and his father were so close, they were like best friends, his father was the only parent he had left, he loves his father so much and now he's gone, and it's all because of me.

The guilt coiled around me like a serpent, constricting my breath, making each inhale a struggle. It wasn't a singular, sharp pang, but a dull, persistent ache that throbbed in the back of my mind, a constant reminder of another life I took. The pain, however, was a different beast altogether. It was sharp and sudden, a piercing shard of glass lodged in my heart, twisting with every beat.

Gaby's father died all because of me.

It was my fault.

It should've been me. I should've died instead of his father. I didn't deserve to live.

I couldn't contain it anymore. I let out a quiet sob as I thought of what happened.

Gabriel must surely hate me now, he most likely blames me, I blame me. I mean, he lost his father because of me, because he went there and saved me.

If only I knew that would've happened, I would've gladly let Claude beat me to death. I would've done everything to prevent that from happening. But there's nothing I could do.

"Max, Drix, can you please give us some privacy for a moment? It'll just be a moment, Max." I hear Damion saying. He was just suddenly here the moment I opened my eyes earlier. And the three of them have been fussing all over me since then.

I hear Max arguing, not wanting to leave the room, but after a while he hesitantly agreed anyways. I felt him moving towards me, placing a soft kiss on top of my head before I heard the door opening and closing. I still made no move and only let my tears escape.

I hate myself so much.

"Mira, sweetheart." I hear Damion letting out a sigh as I feel him sitting down next to me in my hospital bed.

"Gabriel loves you so much, sweetheart, I know you know that."

My fist clenched as more tears streamed from my eyes.

"He shouldn't have. I told him, I warned him not to get close to me because I know I bring nothing but disaster, and now look at what happened to him. Loving me was his greatest mistake."

I'm not supposed to be loved. I just deserve to be alone, to be gone.

"It's all my fault, Damie." I sobbed.

There was a short pause, I didn't even realize I had called my eldest brother the nickname I used to call him when I was a little girl when dad was still alive.

"It's been a while since you called me that. I missed it." I could almost feel him smiling from behind me, but I only shut my eyes and went back to ignoring him.