𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 || 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳

so stupid and yet no way out

hi

and a special hi to the shameless re-readers i love you <3

~

Oscar was too shocked to even have an opinion on what had just happened until a few hours later.

He wasn't quite in a trance since he was still going about his day at the MTC looking relatively normal, but on the inside it was like his mind had gone static. There was just nothing, only a haze that wouldn't seem to go away.

By the end of the day he was able to gather his thoughts in some sort of coherent manner. And there was one question that persisted at the forefront of his mind.

The audacity?

The sheer audacity for Lando to run, then to, out of nowhere, ask for a kiss, for Oscar to pour every once of love he had for that stupid Brit into the kiss, only for Lando to then run again, to hide from what was scaring him.

Oscar wasn't even sure what it was that was scaring Lando so badly.

Yes, he had gotten cheated on, but he knew full well that Lando had moved on from that. Winning the championship had been all the redemption he needed, and he knew that neither Verstappen nor Carolina stressed him out even a little bit anymore.

But then what was it? Because he also began to suspect that Lando looked back on that relationship and wondered how he could have even begun to thought that it was real.

What he had with Oscar was real. Even though they hadn't put a name or a label on it, it was realer than any of the established relationships that either of them had been in.

Maybe that was what scared him.

Oscar knew that it wasn't the first time Lando had been with a guy, he had made that little comment to Lando a while back but it had always gone undiscussed. Of course, the way by which he knew that wasn't exactly the most normal but he did know it regardless.

But knowing Lando, it hadn't been serious. The fact that he had been able to stay in a committed relationship with that Carolina girl was honestly surprising to Oscar, he had heard about the absolute nightmare that he had been for his PR team when he couldn't settle.

It could very well be the fact that he had initially hated Oscar with everything he had and that had all changed relatively quickly. Maybe it was that they had started seeing each other in such a different light so quickly and it was all catching up him. Love was stupid, because it was leading him to subconsciously come up with so many different reasons to defend Lando when all he wanted the older man to do was fucking speak.

This would all explode in one way or another. Lando couldn't hide forever.

At the same time, though, despite his frustrations, maybe Oscar's tendency to overthink would be useful for once.

Lando had safe worded. He wouldn't have dared to say that word unless he desperately needed Oscar to stop, he knew that. Lando wouldn't abuse that word, so the fact that he, whether it was intentional or not, had resorted to that word, that didn't count for nothing.

And Oscar hadn't missed the way his eyes had gone wide, the way his body had stuttered ever so slightly before he got up and left. That wasn't hatred, or hurt. That was fear, that was directly running from the problem.

And then of course, there was the issue of not wanting Lando to feel pressured since Oscar knew that would make everything worse. He had to be so incredibly careful, since he knew that the position they were in was incredibly fragile and that one wrong move or word would only make things worse.