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Nerves shot through my body as I sat across the table from my friendly date. This should be Onika and I honestly. I mean we had our dates, but not the way I always wanted them to be. I always envisioned us comfortably eating out, the way we should.
Able to hold hands afterwards, share a kiss. Something where we didn't have to walk on eggshells with.
Nothing about this was fitting. Nothing will ever fit in the spot where her piece belongs.
I felt guilty. Even though I had no reason to feel guilty. Stuck in a situation I didn't deserve to be stuck in. I deserve to be happy too. I just want to be happy with her.
I had to make movements that pulled me away from Onika. What if it wasn't meant to work out? What if her and Kehlani remained married and worked for the better of their marriage?
Guess who's the one that's assed out? It's literally not fair to me. I can't remain on the back burner for someone else wife who head is held high that she is the one and only one.
The way kehlani walked and talked lets me know she has no fear in Onika really leaving her. She talked like this was another one of their little moments and they'll be right back.
Kehlani actions showed me that she was right. After all of the things that she's done and Onika remained to stick around? It doesn't seem promising that I'll be the one she will end up with.
I was just something temporary. Something to fill a missing void.
"Beyoncé?" I looked up to see Ryan looking at me concerned. We've been talking for a few weeks before I allowed her to bring me out.
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"I called you a few times. Are you okay?"
"Uhm yeah I was just thinking. What did you say?" She chuckled softly.
