Karma

Sunsets - 51

Sunsets - 51

     The day was painfully long. 

      It felt as though eyes were on me at every turn, dissecting my every move. Kids I barely knew threw insults and dirty looks my way as if I was suddenly scum underneath their shoe.

     When Summer spotted me, she rushed over and enveloped me in a tight hug, her apologies spilling out as if she had committed some grave offense. I acted indifferent. I knew if I tried to say anything about the situation, I would ultimately blow up at her. I chose to repeat, "It's not your fault," like a mantra, trying to keep myself from lashing out.

     I couldn't even bring myself to ask if she knew who had posted it. A part of me wanted to make sure she knew it was none other than Abbie just to rub salt in the wound, but I knew that would get me no where. If anything it would just painfully remind me of the betrayal, and affirm that what happened was real.

     Aside from the occasional homophobic comments, the jealous glares from girls who had their sights set on Oliver, and the curious stares that followed me everywhere, I thought I could manage. It was uncomfortable, sure, but I reminded myself that Oliver was probably enduring much worse.

     Practice was torture though.

     I sat on the bench as I usually did. The sun beating down on me like an unwanted spotlight. I couldn't tell if the dampness on my skin was from the heavy humidity or the tight knot of anxiety in my stomach. My foot tapped against the turf in a sporadic rhythm, a physical echo of my internal chaos.

     I had barely seen Oliver all day, and maybe that was for the best. I was sure the more time we spent together, the more attention we would draw to ourselves.

     I watched him enter the field, his shoulders slumped and expression vacant, as if he were wading through a thick fog. Our teammates deliberately kept their distance. Coach called everyone in for a huddle, and instead of our usual skin-to-skin, arm-around-shoulder huddle, it seemed everyone repelled away from Oliver like touching him would result in catching an unseen disease.

     Practice went by terribly with Coach absolutely losing his shit at the team because of the obvious disdain for Oliver. Kids shoving him harshly, illegally checking him, and refusing to pass the ball anywhere near him.

     The few kids that treated Oliver no differently and actually included him in the scrimmages were shunned out and ridiculed by the more outspoken members of our team.

     Kids sent me weird looks, but as I wasn't on the field there was no serious discrimination against me. 

     In a way I was still invisible. I was constantly being watched and scrutinized now, but they only saw the fact I was dating Oliver Clarke. They didn't see me as an individual.

     Oliver has always been popular. People that once bragged they were his friends openly talked about how much they hated him now, just like they did with Adilene, Beatrice, Will, and Mindy. People assumed this was just another Karma attack that resulted in me getting caught in the aftermath.

     Like Adilene and that one teacher. 

     People only really cared about Adilene when that happened. Not the teacher. The letter was so clearly targeted at Adilene, it was almost like a go-ahead for people to talk bad about her. Like someone had done it first, so now it's socially acceptable to follow suite.

     It didn't matter that Oliver wasn't a bad person. The letter had been released. It was now acceptable to voice any distaste about him at all. Adding on to the fact that he was with a boy gave free reign for homophobes to suddenly voice their opinions on the matter no matter if they liked him before or not.