All My Heart

Chapter Seven

TW: Mentions of death and killing

Ugh! The last thing I need is free time with these maniacs! I thought to myself. A crash jolted me out of my thoughts. I looked to my left and saw Quinn and Bonnie hugging. Wait... I thought as my brain processed what was happening.
"QUINN?!" I ran to hug him. We all started sobbing. We just stood there crying for quite some time then we spread apart, wiped our tears, and just started talking. We heard the first bell and didn't pay any attention to it, then we heard the tardy bell. Then we ran to our classes knowing the hall monitor was in their classroom. After we all split into our different classes on my way to my study hall, my next class. I heard something. I went to the source of the sound and found that it was coming from the music room. As I walked towards the door I heard someone singing. The voice got louder and louder as I stepped forward. I peeked through the door to reveal a young man who seemed around my age. I stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I wanted to compliment him but I just couldn't bring myself to speak. I was so studded by his appearance and voice.
Gosh darn it Lynn! You can't fall in love with every guy you meet! All of the sudden, the guy looked up towards me.
"Uhhh..." was all that he said before Lynn turned around and started to leave. "Wait!"
Oh no! One conversation with this guy and I know for sure that I'll fall for this guy! I bet this is his plan....
"What?" I replied with a bit of an attitude. "In case you haven't realized, I'm already late."
"I just thought, maybe... we could talk sometime...?"
UGH! Now I know I won't be able to escape! "Sure. How's lunch sound?" STUPID LYNN!
"Nice! See you then!" he said as I hurried off to class. What have you gotten yourself into?

***

"Lynn!" I heard Bonnie call out as I headed from the dorm room to lunch. Not this! Now I'm gonna have to explain to her what I'm doing at lunch. She is going to make so much fun out of me!
"...yes?" I replied hesitantly. I prayed to God she didn't want to hang out at lunch!
"You wanna hang out at lunch by any chance?"
Great! Exactly what I wanted! I thought to myself sarcastically. "I really wish I could but I promised that I would hang out with someone else at lunch today," I said to her, hoping she wouldn't ask any further questions
I turned to leave but Bonnie stopped me. "Lynn... I'm a bit worried about you. You've been acting so differently lately and I don't know what's up with it!"
"It must just be the college adjustments and all. This kind of stuff takes getting used to, that's all."
"Hmph," Bonnie grunts, obviously not convinced. "See you some other time then... I guess," she then says halfheartedly.
I suddenly get a sick feeling in my stomach. The feeling you get when you know that you've done something wrong and your heart aches to fix it. It takes all of my strength to turn around and continue to lunch. I'm going to be late for lunch to meet up with... wait a second! I don't even know this guy's name and I'm already going to lunch with him! This isn't right! We're moving too fast. Besides, if I don't make amends with Bonnie our friendship is going to end up falling apart.
I see him at a table alone. He obviously doesn't have any friends. I may be dodging a bullet with this. I walk over to him to tell him that I can't sit with him today when someone steps in front of me. I'm stopped dead in my tracks and look to see Quinn standing there. He must have seen me walking over to that guy's table.
"Hey Lynn. How about you come sit with us today? I... need to talk to you," Quinn says in a low voice.
"Sure," I responded. "Let me just take care of something first." I was awkward having such a civilized talk after all that had happened lately.
I walk over to where the boy is sitting to break his spirit. I'm honestly probably the first person he's been able to hang out with at lunch.
"Hey.... So, about today. I'm not going to be able to hang out with you..." I say quietly, figuring he's probably feeling awkward and emotional. I wonder why I'm predicting this. And how.
His face twists around into a depressed expression and he looks down, trying to hide his face. "Ok," he says so quietly I could barely hear him.
"Hey!" I hear, being stopped yet again. "Lynn! How are you?" Benedict says as he jogs up to me.
"I'm good," I say, wanting to be done with the conversation.
"Nice. Catch you later!" Obviously noticing that I have other places to be.
Another reason why I really like him. He's so understanding! Something that Bonnie and Quinn are never. No Lynn! Don't go there! Bonnie and Quinn are your best friends. No one can replace them. I quickly hurry over to where Quinn is sitting and place myself next to him. Quinn immediately gets to talking. "Do you know that guy? How did you meet him? What did you say? Why did you look at him like that?"
"He's just a friend, Quinn,"
"He's obviously not 'just a friend',"
"What if he isn't?" He placed his hands on my wrist.
"...He better be"
"Why? Why do you care so much about him being a friend?" I pushed his hand off my wrist.
"It's not him I care about," He's giving me those eyes. The eyes that always scream he wants more than friends....I finally figured out how I feel about Quinn....but why keep lying? I find this guy attractive, sure, but I'm saying he's just a friend? Because he is.
"I know I'm just questioning things I shouldn't and it's an invasion of your privacy. But he is just a friend, right?"
"Yes Quinn, just a friend," Others would say I'm going mad with these mixed feelings.
He looked me dead in the eyes, different emotions visible, and swirling around in them. His face looks distorted, like he's battling with himself, unsure of what to do. Though, I too feel this battle with myself, and oh, how I feel it with every breath, the urge to kill, strangle, decapitate someone him no I need too, but knowing that if I do kill him or rip fim limb from limb, there would be consequences. How I wish I could, it wouldn't be the first time or the second time...just like that dreadful night by the lake with my first boyfriend, I let my thoughts get the better of me and he choked on a piece of bacon. I didn't know he was allergic, I was just having a picnic.
I smiled at Quinn, however so kindly, he looked back into my eyes wearily. He'd known this look from anywhere, I was going to do something. But what?
"I love you Lynn Anderson."
My whole world froze. He- what?!
"I know you feel the same way. Can't deny it."
"I do, but-"
"But?! Why is there a 'but', Lynn we need each other, I need you."
"But, I'm paying for our date." I said triumphantly.
"Oh."
"Yea"