One time ❤️

Again

He was there again. Stuck in my head. His hands were grabbing me, his breath glued to my nose.
"Please leave me alone" I cried out. His towering body got closer and closer. My shins had been stomped and my heart beat was raised. "GET OFF"

I sat straight upright in my bed, sweat dripping from every pore. I have this nightmare on repeat every night, but now there's nobody to help me through it just me, myself and I.

"Chloe can you be quite, Noah is asleep" Lucy's voice whispered from behind my closed bedroom door.
"Sorry mum" I replied.

I found my bedroom door was closed a lot now. Noah's screams were so deafening sometimes and I had to block them out. Lucy had kept me off school due to previous events and now I'm on a countdown to Barcelona. I can't wait to move. I hate England.

1 hour passed. Then 2. Then 3. And all I had done was lay aimlessly listening to music staring at my ceiling from my bed. AirPods in.

Noah was born 3 days ago and I already love him to bits! It does mean I haven't had a proper conversation with both Lucy and Keira together as one of them is always occupied but I don't mind. I understand they need to pay close attention to him.

After another hour or so I started to grow bored. I quietly walked to the staircase but the house quickly filled with screams and cry's. So annoying. Noah's cute don't get me wrong but some of the noses that come out of him aggravate me so much.

"Hey mum, hey kei" I said to them.
"Lu can you go get the blanket please" Keira asked
"Yes of course" I watched as Lucy ran off to find it.
"Hi Chloe" I sarcastically said to myself but loud enough for both of my parents to hear.
"We're busy darling. How about you go back upstairs"

Yep.

I swear they just assume I feel better. As if Noah being born has cured my mental health completely. Like my past had been swept away.
I was so bored.  Nobody to talk to.
Leah? She was on holiday. Lucy and Keira? Well. Friends? Funny one.

I completely reorganised my room before deciding to go on a walk. I didn't bother say goodbye as nobody would respond anyway. It was coming up to winter so I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door. I ran round the back garden grabbing my football and taking it with me.
I arrived at a park. It was empty apart from a few kids and their parents playing on the monkey bars.
I watched as there parents laughed with the kids and remembered when I had a smile on my face. A real one, And was spending all this time with my two favourite people.

I dropped the ball to my feet and dribbled to the empty goal net before smashing it top left.
Every shot I hit took a bad thought away from me until it was just me and football.

I checked the time on my phone and realised it was almost 7:00. I had been out for 2 hours?
I picked up the ball and headed home.

"I'm back" I shouted through the house.
No answer. I walked upstairs and scrolled through my phone. I'm so bored. I need something to get my happiness back. Anything.

I couldn't. I shouldn't. But my eyes travelled to my loose floorboard.
The day Kelsey had taken me out to get those drugs was a day that I will never forget again. I remember the energy levels the weed gave me.
It made me feel happy again. I need that. I crave that.
I stuffed the bag in my backpack and departed the house once again.
This time dropping Lucy a message.

Mum 🫶🏻

Me- Some of the girls from footie are having a sleepover. Thought I would go before we leave to Barca. Be back tmr.

Mum🫶🏻- have you got a bag packed? Xx

Me- yes x

——

I set off. Lucy knew full well the football girls hated me. They all loved Kelsey which didn't mean good for me.

I went back to the park this time perching on a swing near where the kids had once been playing on the monkey bars.

I smoked and smoked and smoked, till I felt physically giddy. I started laughing out of nowhere. Now this is what happiness feels like. Out the corner of my eye i saw a boy walk past.
"HEY" I shouted.
He looked taken aback but slowly approached me.
"Shit girl you got any spare?" He said while whofting the smell away.
"Course. Want some?" I gestured.
"Yes" he replied.

He looked around my age but much taller than me. He had brown messy hair and emerald green eyes. His voice was not from round here. He sounded much posher. South of England maybe?

We both sat there talking about anything at all. Laughing our heads off.
But all of a sudden I found myself in a daze. Gleaming into his eyes only to realise he was looking into mine. He leaned in and my heart raced. This was it. Our lips touched together and I felt electric shots fly. My first kiss.

We both laughed about it until he said he had to head off. He put his snap in my phone before offering me a shower at his to get the smell off. I gladly took the opportunity before heading home myself.
I had a massive smile on my face and felt true happiness.
I quietly opened the door.
Uh oh.

I saw Lucy's eyes fixed on me.

"Hey baby. Why are you back?" Lucy asked.
I avoided any form of eye contact as my eyes were blood red.
"Erm, Kelsey was there. Thought it was best to leave"
I shut the door behind me and started to walk off.
"Come back"
I froze
Did she know?
How?
"I haven't had a hug with you in ages" Lucy stated
I felt bad but I knew it had to be done.
"Really? Never noticed." I said bluntly.

I walked off upstairs and got straight into bed, I want to be happy but for everyone I have to sleep this off. And quick.

Writer
It's been so long!!! So sorry.
This chapter is to get me back on it. As always any suggestions will be helpful and hope you enjoy 😊