Shattered Heart (Discontinued)

Chapter One

----------------------------------WARNING TRIGGER WARNING , just to give a heads up.
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"Okay baby, I'm leaving right now and I'll call you later when me and your dad reach the hotel." my mom called out as she was leaving out the door for her anniversary trip.

"But mom, why are you leaving me with aunt steph and her kids", I whined.

"You'll be fine, just call me and don't give your aunt and uncle trouble. Don't forget that your sister is in Atlanta , so she might not pick up the phone at first. " , my mom said as she was stepping outside.

"Bye mom!"

I watched as my parents left me in the house with my aunt and her family.

I felt so alone in that moment being left there, even my grandma left with her friends and my friends were in an argument with me so I couldn't even text them.

Going up to my room, that I shared with my cousin, I sat on my bed and just did what I normally do. Which consisted of reading, playing video games, or watching tv.

••••

"What the hell?"

I was in the middle of reading when I suddenly heard the door downstairs open and the voices of my aunts loud friends came into the house.

Since, i knew they were having a cookout, i didn't want to go downstairs with all those people. Plus, I knew that they were also having family time, so with that said i didn't even want to eat.

••••••

"Come and eat, the food is ready!", my uncle shouted a few hours later as he rudely opened my bedroom door and then awkwardly left.

Waiting till he was downstairs, I exited my room and made a beeline for the bathroom.
Since it was sunny, I let the window bring light into the bathroom and felt no need to turn on the light.

As I sat on the toilet to pee, I started to gather all my thoughts together and that was a whole new bad idea.

My mom left me, my sister left me, my grandma left me, everyone had left me.

No one cares about me anymore. My friends are mad at me , and im not even sure why.

The thoughts came stampeding into my mind as tears started to graze my eyes and my mind ran at the speed of light, going to every bad scenario I could muster up.

Then, suddenly the bathroom door started to open slowly.

"GET OUT!", I screamed at my cousin Ali as i forced the door shut and locked it.

I could hear him telling everyone downstairs what had happened in our altercation.

•••••••••
Finishing in the bathroom with annoyance, I turned and peered in the mirror at my tear stained face.

Letting all my thoughts rekindle in my mind, my brain started playing with my emotions, repeatedly reciting the fact that people left me as more tears raced down my face.

"They don't love you."

The words replaying in my mind every ticking second.

"They don't need you."

"Nobody needs you around."

"Why cant I be loved like everyone else?"

These thoughts clouded my mind and I thought of no one else. My mind went on autopilot as i searched through the cabinets to look for something sharp. Item after item just laughing at me.
"You're not gonna do it."

"You don't have the guts."

"You're already a disappointment."

"No wonder they left you with the 'CLAN'"

Everything urged me to find something, anything! That's when I found it, a new bobby pin.

I've never tried cutting myself, it had crossed my mind but I never wanted to take action till now. I gripped the bobby pin and ripped the edge of it off with my teeth, exposing the sharp metal underneath. My chest felt cold with the miscellaneous air that touched the tear stains on my shirt.

I lifted the inside of my left forearm, staring between the smooth space and the sharp metal. My mind debating on whether to actually do this yet of course my mind is forever against me.

Breathing slow, I tried to carve the word "Alone" in my arm. All of this was new to me and anger seeped its way into my bones as the bobby pin failed to make a cut.
I've heard of people saying that it could give release ,but as I failed to make any puncture to the skin, all I felt were waves of anger and sadness mixed into one.

Throwing the bobby Pin in anger, I sat on the edge of the tub with my head in my hands, silently crying in not only disappointment but worry and fear.

"Why do I always have to care about others' feelings,it's never fair!", I think in my head as my teeth grit in anguish

I shot my head up in surprise at the knocking on the door, causing me to jump in realization of my current location.

"You alright in there?", my uncle said as he waited for my answer.

Wiping my face ,roughly with my hands, I replied with a blatant lie.

"Yeah , I'm okay I'll be out soon"

"Okay, I was just checking on you to make sure you're still breathing. Come down and eat, we don't bite."

He left, with his joke still lingering in the air. Though little did he know how I wished I wasn't breathing at that moment. Still sitting on the edge of the bath tub, images flashed through my head with the words from earlier drifting in my conscience while I hold my arm to my chest. Before I walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

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Ok so this is the first chapter and I'm not entirely sure on how it is. So I appreciate anyone reading this right now. It's a long journey ahead but I hope you enjoy it and vote/comment.

Tell me your thoughts.

I'm posting another chapter later today, to get in the swing of things

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