His Guardian Angel

(ch - 5) Always With Him

My ishan.. My ishu.. Is holding a fucking sharp blade in his hands..

I am standing just right beside him... And watching him with shocked expression..

Ishan ki aanke aab bhi naam ha aanshuo se .. He take that blade with him and sit on the bed... He is still sobbing badly... Uski aankho me aabhi emotions ka pura ek cyclone dekh saktta hu me.. Their are thousands of things that are going in his mind

I am watching his every move... His face is red due to so much crying and sobbing.. His nose and cheeks becomes red.. His throat become so much dry that it start hurting him at some level.. His hairs are now a mess.. Aagar aaj situation kuch or hoti toh me kehta ki Ishan is looking like a cute baby right now.. But aab filhal situation serious ha...

I can read his thoughts... Or uske dimak me filhal ek thought baar baar chal raha ha ki he want to physically hurt himself so that he didn't feel the emotional pain that is caused by his stupid heart and feelings..

Vo physical pain se aapne dil ke dard ko chupa dena chhata ha.. But mere hote hua me aesa kabhi Ishan ko nhi karne dunga.. He is my strong Ishan.. He can't give up like that.. He didn't deserve all this..

I am still standing just in front of him and watching him.. He put that blade on his wrist.. And he was all ready to cut his skin... But then he stopped and again tears start to fall from his eyes... He throw that blade at somewhere in the room and just lay on bed like a cocoon.. Knees folding towards in his chest... He is sobbing badly...

From his voice.. I can feel that his throat is all dry and it gives him pain when he cries.. And if he is in pain then i am also in pain..

I sat just right beside him on the bed and watching him crying his heart out... It is too much for me to see... Now i decide that enough is enough.. I can't see my Ishan like that.. I am now emotionally connected to him... Aur aaj jitna dard usse feel ho raha ha usse kahi jaada mujhe feel ho raha ha.. I want to burn this world.. I can't see him this broken...

I am watching him since his birth... But jabse me uske sath uske paas rehne lagga hu.. Tabse ek alag si aadat ho gai ha mujhe uski..
Vo hasta ha to me bhi uske sath hastta hu..
Vo rota ha to meri aankho me bhi aansu aate ha...
Uske bina aab mera maan nhi lagtta ha..
Uske bina sab bekaar lagtta ha.. Dil khush nhi rehta..
Aur jab vo rotta ha to bas fir to ek alag sa pagalpaan aa jatta ha mujme... Aesa maan karta ha ki uski Jindagi se har us shaqs ko mitta du jisne usse dard dia ha..

Aab me aapni jange se khada hotta hu and finally decided to do something that is against my rules.. But do i have any choice.. Ofcourse not...

I will do anything to make my Ishu happy... Fir chhahe uska anjaam kuch bhi ho... This is the first time when i feel this much connected to any human.. Aaj tak me pata nhi kitne insaano ka guardian angel bana hu but unme se koi bhi Ishan jesa nhi tha.. He is special.. Very special.. He is my special person.. He is pure like holy water.. He is innocent.. He is my innocent

I know ki aab jo me karne ja raha hu uske kaaran mujhe heavy punishments mil sakti ha.. But aagar usse Ishan khush rahega toh mujhe har trah ka dard manjuur h.. Mujhe baas vo khush chaiye..

Me khudko mittane ke lia tayar hu uske lia.. Bas uske chaere se vo pyari si smile kabhi nhi jaani chaiye..

Today i decided ki me aaj uske saamne aa hi jaunga.. I know i am breaking the rules right now ki mujhe kabhi bhi uske saamne nhi aana tha but aagar aaj nhi toh kabhi nhi..

Mera Ishan mere saamne aesi haalat me ha or me chhakar bhi uske lia kuch nhi kar paa raha hu.. Or jabtak me aese aapni anglic form me rahunga tab tak me Ishan ke saamne nhi aa sakta that's why i have to break another rule.. Or vo ha ki aapni anglic form se bhar nikal kar human form me aana padega.. Tabhi me Ishan ko touch kar sakunga.. Tabhi usse direct baat kar sakunga.. Tabhi usko dikh sakunga... Tabhi usko sambhal sakunga

I know ki aagar me human form me aa jatta hu or aagar ye baat heaven me kisi ko patta laag jaati ha toh iske consequences bhot burre honge.. But aabhi mujhe kisi ki koi chinta nhi ha... Bas mujhe aabhi Ishan se matlab ha

Aab me Ishan ke paas aata hu.. And just lightly ruffels his hairs to calm him down... But jese hi me usse touch karta hu vese hi vo ek duum se uth jaata ha.. Or daar jaata ha ki ye hua kya uske sath.. Vo idhar udhar dekh raha ha ki ye kya tha but usse me dikh nhi raha..

He thinks ki shayad ye uska hallucination ha.. Toh aab vo vapis bed par leet jaata ha..

Now i decide to call him...

Nehal - Ishan

Now Ishan feels more scared ki uska naam kon le raha ha aadhi raat ko.. He again looks here and there but found no one... He just mentally slaps himself because he thinks ki vo pagal ho gaya ha jo usse aavaje sunnai de rahi ha..

Now i again comes near him and again patted his head like a mother comfort her child..

Nehal - Ishan.. Relax baccha.. Me hu na... Sab tk ho jaiga