Political Gratification (Interracial-BWWM Novel)

Chapter 4: Wanting Answers

Nelly's outfit in the media gallery above.

Disclosure: To those that are extremely religious, namely Christians, this chapter may offend you. I personally am an agnostic and therefore I am torn between what I believe. I express this through Nelly in this chapter. You may not agree with my beliefs, but I do ask that you respect them.

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It was 8 in the morning, a time when no one should be awake, but it was tradition that on a Sunday in a Haitian household you wake your ass up at the butt crack of dawn and made your way to the temple of God and repented your sins.

The thing was that the last thing Nelly wanted to do at 6 in the morning was to get up to attend a loud church full of nosy people who really got on her last nerve, so you could say she wasn't in the greatest of moods, but then you add to the equation that her soon-to-be husband on paper was standing next to her in the middle of her church service with the cheesiest smirk on his handsome face and you get the product of a miserable existence.

"What are you doing here?" Nelly sneered as she continued to dance and sing to the soulful hymns that were meticulously etched into her brain since she was a wee toddler.

"Is that the way you speak to your fiancé sweetie? We'll have to change that won't we?" He said as he took a pamphlet from a friendly usher, then looked her up and down.

She was wearing a skater dress that had black and white leopard and zebra print on it along with her favorite strappy high heeled sandals. Her hair was twisted out into her normal fro down her back.

"You look gorgeous", when she said nothing in response, he decided to change the subject. "How often do you come to these services?" He asked, admiring the fit of the clothing on her slim figure.

"Every Sunday. Though this Sunday is extra special. I came to ask Jesus personally why he wishes for me to suffer in your presence for the next few years," she replied, coolly.

"Wow. I'm flattered that you have such intimate conversations with yourself about me," he retorted, his smirk growing at her defensive tone.

"Aww... so you must be a non-believer?" She asked, saying 'believer' like 'beweaver' chuckling a little as she gripped his cheek in between her forefinger and thumb.

"Yeah I am. I can't really understand a deity who would put you in a fiery prison if you don't follow certain guidelines that are against basic human nature, but in the end, forgive you every time you break those rules say he loves you. It's baffling and contradictory," he said and frowned as a lady near them shushed them harshly. He watched as Nelly slowly turned around and gave the lady a look that would make the Hulk cower and proceeded with their conversation. How she could even hear them in this small church with 4-5 speakers that seemed to be placed at the highest volume possible, they'd never know.

"Anyways, I don't blame you. God just doesn't make any sense. To any of us, actually. Christianity is just an interpretation of the bible if you think about it. You take from it what you can, because it's just impossible to even try to follow it word for word. In reality,  if everything said in the bible are really the guidelines to heaven, we're ALL going to burn in hell," Nelly stated, chuckling humorlessly.

"If you know this why are you a so called Christian?" He asked genuinely confused as to how she could say these things, but still go to church every Sunday.

"Well mostly for the sake of my parents. Then there's the 'why not' mentality. If it isn't true, then at least I lived with something to believe in. If you haven't noticed Christians are primarily low or middle class. Christianity gives people hope. Sometimes I need that hope even if might be a fairy tale", Nelly said, shyly shrugging her shoulders with a small smile.