I Loathe You

Chapter Three

Queen Cara slept like a baby after knowing her revenge plan was set in motion. Her hands were clean of the murders so she had nothing to worry about. All King Michele would accomplish by bringing it up would be a plot caused by speculation with no evidence whatsoever. He hardly rested at night whilst knowing that she was not finished with him yet. None of his concerns were mentioned to his wife. Nothing about who is behind taking the lives of his brothers and sisters, or that their child's life is potentially threatened and perhaps her life as well. Nonetheless, the Queen had better plans for the day than to worry about whether her former lover was hurting or not. Mrs Jenson made sure that everything was organized to perfection for the ladies luncheon that the Queen wanted to have with her ladies-in-waiting. Whilst walking in the passageway, Mrs Jenson asked to speak with her before the luncheon. (Queen Cara): "Please do not tell me that something went wrong with the arrangements" (Mrs Jenson): "No of course not, your majesty. Everything is prepared and ready for you. I wish to speak with you about something of great importance" (Queen Cara): "Well, get to it. I do not have all day" Mrs Jenson checked for anyone that could possibly be eavesdropping or walking about before she continued. She looked even more concerned than she was before. Suddenly, her voice went into a whisper and the conversation went quieter. (Mrs Jenson): "Why are you pretending to have murdered the King of Saxum's siblings? You knew nothing of what had occurred because you were grieving your parents, the former King and Queen" (Queen Cara): "So what if I lied? It changes nothing" (Mrs Jenson): "It changes quite a bit, your grace. The King is fearful for his unborn child and his wife's life, all because of a tragedy that you have taken accountability for when you had nothing to do with it" (Queen Cara): "Does it matter? His siblings were in fact killed. I took accountability for their deaths because I would rather he fear for his life when my name is mentioned than not" The ladies had arrived and were waiting for the Queen to join them in polite conversation. Queen Cara told Mrs Jenson that she had no interest in telling King Michele the truth. If she had to say that she had no part in it, then he would still be suffering but not at her mercy. It worked in her favour. Despite the fact that they had no idea who actually killed his brothers and sisters. That remained a mystery to her and Mrs Jenson agreed to keep the conversation between the both of them. Queen Cara joined the ladies and they were served some tea. (Queen Cara): "What is all the laughter about? Did I miss something?" (Lady Hanna): "We were just talking about love, your majesty" (Queen Cara): "Any love that I had inside myself died a long time ago, Lady Hanna. I see no reason to join in on the subject" (Lady Antoinette): "We completely understand, your majesty" (Lady Emilia): "We did not mean to overstep, your majesty" (Lady Hanna): "Although, I do not understand, your grace" Lady Antoinette and Lady Emilia were trying to nudge Lady Hanna to keep quiet but they failed to do so. The Queen was ever so curious as to what she could say about the painful burden she knew as love. (Queen Cara): "What do you not understand so I could help" (Lady Hanna): "Well, if I may?" (Queen Cara): "Of course" (Lady Hanna): "You say that your love inside of you died a long time ago. I don't understand. How could something so precious and rare be dead to you, your grace? Is it not a thing of wonder, curiosity, happiness, adventure and learning? How could something so rare of a jewel be dead or even killed within oneself?" At this point, the ladies knew that they had no way out now. So, all they could do was pay attention to the conversation as their teacups were being refilled and extra sandwiches were brought out onto the table that they were sitting around. (Queen Cara): "Are you a romantic, Lady Hanna?" (Lady Hanna): "Yes I am, your grace" (Queen Cara): "A hopeless romantic, I hope not" (Lady Hanna): "Unfortunately, I am one of the few who are hopeless romantics, your grace" (Queen Cara): "You say that love cannot be killed or die" Lady Hanna gulped a bit of tea down and very much wished that she could turn into a caterpillar and blend into the walls around her so she could escape this entire conversation. This was her lesson to learn. One that the other ladies knew all too well. If you can't finish it, don't start it. The Queen held Lady Hanna's hand, took a deep breath, and sighed. (Queen Cara): "I loved King Michele Stone for the majority of my life until he chose the duties of a royal and marriage over our shared love. He made the choice that resembled the sword which was used to kill the love that we once shared" (Lady Hanna): "But he is married and is having a baby soon" (Queen Cara): "Yes indeed" (Lady Hanna): "He hurt your love so deeply that it died from within you, your grace?" (Queen Cara): "Unfortunately, yes" (Lady Hanna): "I am speechless, your grace. You shared a great love and then it was destroyed all too easily. Love is precious. It is a gem to nurture and protect. Losing a great love like that can easily freeze all the warmth in our hearts. Is that what it has led to? Coldness and resentment?" (Queen Cara): "One could be optimistic or realistic about it, Lady Hanna. Listen well, ladies. This lesson is quite interesting. After being tremendously hurt in love, you have two choices. To either be optimistic and search for an even greater love, which could take the rest of your life. Or to be realistic and never let the thought of love plague your life ever again" She chose the latter and was disgusted by the former. It was too ridiculous of a thought to wonder whether the fairytale of their romance could be rekindled when damage has been done. He made his choices. He chose to become King, have himself an acceptable wife for his parents, and now have an unborn heir to the throne. He fulfilled everything that his family wanted. Yet the price of that was to give up someone you loved with all your heart. He often wondered at times whether he became too fearful because of it. Instead of living for revenge or not having any love left in his heart, King Michele chose the path of the optimist. He wanted to see if he could one day, whether it took years or centuries, if he could someday feel a love for his wife like he did for Queen Cara. Not knowing her next move left him in torment and paranoia, whilst the not knowing made Queen Cara even more curious as to who did it. (Lady Hanna): "You deserve to feel that love again, your grace. You deserve to have a husband who loves you and wants to bring you everything you have ever longed for" (Queen Cora): "Is that what you wished for yourself, Lady Hanna? Do you all wish for such a thing? To be loved. To be married. To have a family. To completely jump into a flame-filled puzzle and rely on trust to not end up burnt to a crisp. Is that what you wish to waste your breaths on? Seeking someone to create a life with, who could destroy it all at any time they please" Unless you haven't been in her shoes, you would know the feeling of fearing for the carpet to be ripped from under you at every moment when in a dreadfully controlled or painful relationship. The ladies said that they want husbands and children one day. They know that she would be happy if she met one who was willing to fight by her side no matter what. Except, there was no way of being certain that the man they were mentioning even existed. The Queen gave up on ever venturing down that path a long time ago. (Lady Antoinette): "Actually, your grace, there is to be a ball again soon. Isn't there?" (Queen Cara): "Yes there is. In a few days. Why the sudden question?" (Lady Emilia): "Well, we have to pick out the perfect designs for the perfect gown" (Lady Hanna): "One that would show the Kingdom and all Kingdoms alike, that you are the Queen Patricia Gold of Aureum. A force to be reckoned with and a woman that deserves someone by her side that would worship the ground she walks on" (Queen Cara): "Ladies...I appreciate the enthusiasm" (Ladies): "Hush! It is done!" (Lady Hanna): "You will meet a few suitors and we will decide whether you will leave the ball with a potential husband or not... I mean, your grace" Queen Cara wanted to tell all of them to go to hell and bake a basket of biscuits whilst being there. Except, she found this thrilling. The idea that the ladies would work tooth and nail to find the perfect candidates for a man to marry and become the King of Aureum. They said they would present princes as candidates. It all felt like an exciting game to play to Queen Cara, as she absolutely expected this little experiment to fail. She wanted to see the drastic disaster it would become.