i wanna feel lethal on the inside, i wanna read american psycho again

> Be Dave Strider.

AN: okay guys so the pesterlog formatting is shit cause you cant change fonts or anything on here. sorry :(
enjoy !!!!

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
GG: dave!
TG: sup
GG: so i know your birthday is coming up
GG: well pretty much everyone's birthday except johns, but my point still stands
TG: you do realize that youre saying this while its currently your birthday right
TG: you are talking about my birthday
TG: on your birthday
GG: well, thats another reason i brought it up :B
GG: i found a game that we can all play!!
TG: oh no
TG: jade there is a reason we dont let you pick games anymore
TG: last time we let you pick a game it was nothing like you said it would be
TG: i was not prepared to be jumpscared by a schoolgirl hanging herself
GG: youre just mad you screamed like a girl
GG: this one will be fun, i promise!! i even read the reviews to make sure
GG: it just came out and all the reviews say good things!
TG: have you asked rose yet
GG: ...
TG: cmon man really
TG: im not agreeing to this until someone other than you has done thorough research
TG: i dont have time for research and johns too dumb to not not trust reviews so rose it is
GG: if i talk to rose will you play it?
TG: once you talk to her and she gives the okay ill consider it
TG: no promises though
GG: yay!!!!!
GG: thanks dave, youre the best!!! :D
TG: yeah yeah
TG: happy birthday by the way
TG: sorry i couldnt get you anything this year
GG: thats okay! you can make it up to me by playing :D
TG: gog damn it
GG: hehehehehehe
gardenGnostic [GG] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You roll backwards a bit on your chair as the conversation ends and sigh at the screen. Jade's always been enthusiastic about games, and you've always been right there with her, but the last time you, John, and Rose played something that she was particularly excited about, it was a disaster.

Actually, that might be a bit dramatic, but it definitely scared the shit out of you. You screamed so loud that you woke up Bro, and the bruises that littered your body for weeks afterwards didn't let you forget about it. Your home life has never been a picture perfect family, you suppose. You only learned that it was not, in fact, normal for your dad to call himself "Bro" and sword fight with you on the roof while simultaneously running a puppet porn account on the dark web about two-ish years ago, and by then it was too late to tell anyone about it. You considered calling the police, but you guessed that if CPS got a call from a 13 year old saying that his dad would fight him on the roof with a puppet and a shitty katana that they would probably hang up and block your number. You wouldn't blame them if they did.

You've told Rose about it, sure, but you tell Rose about everything. She reacted, for a lack of a better term, badly, saying things like "If I ever see that bastard in real life, I'm going to make his life a living Hell" and other things that you wouldn't dare think while being in the same building as him, but you weren't paying much attention. You deleted the chat logs after for two reasons: So that Bro couldn't find them, and a small part of yourself was terrified that if you told anyone else, they would react the same way. It's not that you're not partial to the feeling and how you reacted, but you had thought there would be at least a little sympathy mixed in with the rage. You think if you squinted, you could have seen it, but you guess it's too late now.

Speaking of Bro, he's out running errands at the moment. You don't expect him to get you anything for your birthday tomorrow, because he never does, and the first time you asked for something you regretted even saying anything about it instantly. You don't think he knew that you knew your own birthday until you asked. It's not like he talks to you, though, so you don't know why he was surprised.

What were you thinking about again? Right, Harley's game choices. Yeah, from now on you don't really trust her with that stuff. You can't risk a mistake happening like that again. Still, you feel bad for not getting her a present like you did last year. You went behind Bro's back to get the money to pay for it plus shipping, and even though you really wanted to get her something else this year, you just couldn't muster up the courage to do it again. Too much unnecessary stress on top of all the other shit you have to deal with. Which is honestly not that much shit, it's really just your Bro, but he amounts to enough shit to mess up your life. He's like a big pile of shit, compared to other people's little clumps of shit, just like sitting there on the floor. Like rabbit shit or something. You think you've said the word "shit" in your head enough times now to last a lifetime, and you catch your thoughts circling back to your Bro, so you decide to roll your chair back up to your computer to distract yourself.

Oh, Rose is messaging you.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
TT: Why must you make things so difficult for me?
TT: Seriously, Dave, the Gay Wizard Fanfiction will not write itself. You have to understand, I cannot solve all your problems for you.
TG: oh hey
TG: hows it going rose
TT: I was doing just fine, until you decided to dump all this redundant game research on me at the last minute.
TT: Now I'm just feeling vexed, and you have to deal with it.
TG: sorry about that
TG: who else is gonna research the games jade picks and make sure theyre not of any sort in the horror genre
TG: not me
TG: my boy john doesnt even know how to research something in the correct way
TG: so were left with you
TG: i hope youll do a good job or i might just like
TG: do an insane fucking backflip off of this rolly chair and crack my skull open
TG: is that what you want rose
TG: to ruin a young boys dream of becoming a famous rapper with skull cracking
TG: i didnt think you could be so cruel
TG: i am actively holding back tears
TT: Is that what this is about?
TT: The horror in that game was pretty tame. I actually quite enjoyed it.
TG: of course you would
TG: i cant risk that again
TG: gotta take precautions this time
TT: And what if I were to suggest a game with an increase in horror element?
TG: please dont actually

You hear the click of the front door closing, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

TG: shit gotta go
turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]