Your name is Dave Strider. As previously stated, today, the second of December, is your birthday. It is currently 6:04 AM according to your alarm clock, and you haven't slept a wink.
You've never been one to celebrate your birthday. Mostly because you never grew up with something as minor as your birth being celebrated, but also because(when you learned about it) it almost felt... egotistical to you. You know that that's not true, because literally everyone does it, but you can't help but feel at least a little dirty when you look at the clock after a sufficient amount of hours and bitterly think, "happy birthday to me, I guess." You're not sure if your friends have gotten you anything this year, but you're not expecting them to. You don't get them any special gifts, after all, aside from the occasional one that takes you months of lying and guilt only to be able to barely pay for it.
Come to think of it, you're not sure why they're even still friends with you in the first place. It's not like you're able to do anything with them, or get them shit, and half the time you're not even able to play games with them.
This is a dangerous train of thought, so you look to your shades for anything to be of distraction for your aching head. Looks like John is online, you wonder why.
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: why are you online so early
TG: isnt it like
TG: 4 in the morning for you
EB: yeah, someone was at the door and dad wasn't answering it.
EB: it was just the mailman, he needed me to sign for a package or something.
EB: idk, i wasn't really paying attention. :P
EB: shouldn't i also be asking you that question, though?
TG: what no man
TG: im always up this early
TG: its a cool guy thing you wouldnt get it
EB: i'm almost certain that you're not usually up this early!
EB: but okay, i guess i'll humor you just this once.
TG: how would you know youve never been up this early either
EB: actually i have!
EB: there was that school trip that i had to leave for at like 2 in the morning. remember?
TG: again im reminded of how lucky i am to not be in school
TG: i think if someone told me that i had to wake up at two in the morning to go to a god damn museum i would like
TG: actually i dont know what i would do
TG: i think i would jump off the roof of the school to like make a statement or some bullshit like that
EB: hahaha, okay that is surprisingly morbid for four a.m..
EB: please don't jump off any roofs anytime soon.
TG: wasnt planning on it
EB: you know, school really isn't that bad.
EB: i think if you gave it a shot, you would actually really like it!
TG: i dont think so man
TG: sbahj is getting pretty famous
TG: therell be too many people fawning all over me and tripping over themselves just to shake my hand
TG: the teachers will hate me cause ill be so disruptive
TG: then that one kid in the back of the class that actually enjoys learning like a fucking dork is gonna say
TG: mister electric send him to the principals office and have him expelled
TG: is that how the quote goes idk i havent watched that movie in years
EB: sharkboy and lavagirl? really?
EB: that movie wasn't even good.
EB: also, that's not at all how high school works.
EB: if the teachers don't like you, they just give you bad grades. trust me, i know.
TG: i dont know john maybe it is
TG: what if youre lying to me
TG: how would i know ive never even been in a classroom
EB: wait yeah, how aren't you enrolled in school?
EB: don't tell me you actually homeschool. that's gotta be waaayy nerdier than telling the teacher to get someone expelled.
EB: hahahaha, oh man. i'm imagining you hunched over a workbook or something and doing math equations.
TG: no what
TG: hey i am not a nerd i am literally the un nerdiest guy ever
TG: i just watch khan academy and shit and do the quizzes
TG: like once a month at most
EB: doesn't your bro make you do schoolwork though?
TG: uh
TG: no
EB: man you're so lucky.
EB: your bro has gotta be the coolest guy ever.
TG: yeah sure
TG: hey shouldnt you be sleeping
EB: what?
EB: oh, right. forgot it was the asscrack of dawn.
EB: i should probably go, then.
EB: happy birthday! :B
TG: thanks
TG: see ya
EB: ttyl.
ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
The alarm clock reads 6:22 A.M.. You're supposed to be awake in roughly 40 minutes, but it wouldn't hurt to get up early.
Your eyes switch focus from your shades to the ceiling you've been staring up at for the past seven hours. You take a moment to assess your surroundings and be aware of where your body is placed in relation to the door, and then slowly and carefully prop yourself up with your right arm. The sheets and blankets rustle together softly under you, and you wince at the noise but keep going.
Eventually, you sit all the way up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed, slowing as your feet reach the carpeted floor. You're wearing socks, you always do, so there's a buffer for the noise of your footsteps there.
Just to rid yourself of the stress of walking quietly across your room, you flashstep to the door. Once you've made sure that you made no noise when you landed and that Bro didn't wake up, you reach for the doorknob. Your hand is steady as you turn it so as not to rattle it, and you make an attempt to keep your face neutral as it clicks and the door opens a few centimeters. It's one of those doors whose bottom is way above the carpet, thank god, so you have no trouble cracking it open a few inches more and slipping out into the hallway. As you go to close it again, you turn the doorknob enough so it doesn't tick when it gets slotted back into the doorway.
Apparently, you fuck up, though, because when you turn around to keep walking through the halls, the metal from the doorknob clangs like nobody's business.
You tense up, and suddenly there's a familiar presence behind you. Your sword gets dislodged from your strife specibus on instinct and you whip around to face him.
He's not there, but the door to the emergency stairwell creaks open ever so slightly to the left of you, and you can't help yourself from thinking,
God fucking damn it.
YOU ARE READING
i wanna feel lethal on the inside, i wanna read american psycho again
FanfictionDAVEKAT BACKROOMS AU Your name is Dave Strider. You live in an apartment with your Bro and his strangely large collection of puppets. You also like to play games with your three online friends sometimes. What do you do? this was originally on ao3 bu...
