i wanna feel lethal on the inside, i wanna read american psycho again

> Dave: Own up to your mistakes and apologize, goddamnit.

Whoah, hold your horses there bud. Don't get too ahead of yourself, you haven't even put your headphones on yet.

Speaking of, you grip the foam part of the earphone and take a deep breath, slipping one ear on.

"I know you're there, Dave," says Rose immediately, and your first instinct is to throw the source of said sound across the room and swan dive off a cliff, but alas, no cliff in sight. You decide to bite the bullet right then and there, cause fuck it, you didn't plan any of this shit out. Karkat's stupidly loud and strangely charismatic voice tricked you into not thinking for the entirety of the time since you and Rose's last conversation and now. You silently curse his sleeping form breathing quietly beside you. But when you open your mouth, you can't think of shit to say, or rather, you think of too much shit to say all at once, so you sit there like a fish out of water trying to filter as much sweet sweet salt water through its gills as possible only to be left with dry ass air. Okay, that's kind of a depressing visual now that you're picturing it, and then you realize that it's been around 15(14.67) seconds since you've said something, so you decide to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"I'm sorry," and god damn it out of all the word combinations you could have picked. This has gotta be hands down the worst one. Your voice was so fucking meek when you said it too, like god damn if you're gonna go that rout at least be loud and proud. Large and in charge, if you will. That phrase is so stupid. Wait, fuck. Other issues at hand. You keep talking, for some dumb reason.

"Like, for snapping at you, I guess. That was so uncool of me, honestly, and the fact that I like didn't even apologize after was even more so. It kept replaying in my head like fucking groundhog day, that movie. What was it even about, why did they call it groundhog day?? Shit had nothing to do with groundhogs. That movie was so rank anyways, it's not even how time travel works at all. Tbh, though, I barely remember it cause the one time John made me watch it I had just taken like three benadryls and was literally in the act of passing out. The allergies hit hard that year, you don't even know. I'm so glad there's no pollen in this place, I think I would finally be put to rest if there was." After saying whatever that was, you decide to shut your mouth for once in your life, and you're a little peeved that Rose let you go on for as long as you did. Maybe you're more peeved at yourself on that front. You don't know. It's kind of hard to think with all this stupid fuckin' yellow boring into your eyes. You wonder if you've ever hated a color as much as you do this one.

"No, Dave," Rose sighs out, defeated, after what seems like an eternity, "I'm the one who should be apologizing." Her voice is tired and small, and you feel a pang of guilt reverberate through your system. You want to tell her that it's fine, that she didn't do anything, but. She did, and her words hurt your psyche a lot more than you'd like to admit.

"I'm sorry for dismissing your encounter," she continues, "I was... No. No excuses, forgive me. That's all I had to say." You purse your lips, because this is really just an apology, not a "we're still good and even better friends now, actually," so you impulsively confirm what you assume she's attempting to say. You hope, at least.

"So, are we," you twirl your wrist in the air despite her not being able to see it, "good? We chill?"

You hear Rose laugh her polite, lady laugh, the one that you made fun of and will continue to make fun of over the years, and she answers you with humor in her tone, "Yes, Dave, we are, quote unquote, chill." You feel a dam that you weren't aware was in you break, and all the anxiety you've been holding in for the past day or so seeps out of you along with the carbon dioxide in your exhale.

"Cool," you breathe. Your voice sounds absolutely horrendous with the shake it involuntarily has, but you got your point across. It's cool. Everything's chill. You take a moment to bathe in the happiness of your small victory, woo you didn't lose a close friend because of a stutid ass game, before Rose pipes up again.

"You've been missing your sleep shifts."

"Yeah, uh," you almost gesture to the guy sleeping next to you before catching yourself. Nobody is here to witness hand movements, you hideous cock. Quit smelling those sandwinches, she's escaping to the side. You almost giggle at the memory of SBaHJ, man, you wonder what your captivated audience thinks about your extended absence, before remembering once more that you're having a full conversation with someone. "Karkat." You finish your previous sentence awkwardly. "I think he can go longer without sleeping, so."

Rose pauses for a moment. "Will I get to meet him?" and you're thrown off guard because that is the total opposite of the topic at hand right now.

"Um, if he wants to meet you, yeah? He's his own person." You could really go for some Subway right about now. That steak and cheese with nothing on it in your dreams is calling for your name. She chuckles again. "He's sleeping right now, though," you say after, "So not right now."

"How disappointing. However, I do remember you mentioning something about me not being alone in this hellscape. If it's not too much trouble, could you elaborate? I was not in the right headspace to focus the last time you brought it up."

"Oh yeah! Okay so, Karkat, right?" You realize that you're probably gonna wake him up if you keep saying his name like this, so you lower your voice. "He's playing with his... friends? In two teams, and they're competing so he's got notes on his team players. Drawings of their levels based on their descriptions, shit like that. One page looked exactly like your level, no joke. So I figured that, since you've been hearing things, maybe it was your level? And these guys are friendly, at least I'm pretty sure, so if you try and find the person then you won't be alone anymore." She's silent for a moment.

"Hmm. That does sound promising. Did you catch this person's name?"

"Uhh, I think it was..." You rack your brain for an answer. "Started with a T. Terizi, maybe? I'll ask Karkat when he wakes up."

You then proceed to have an entertaining and slightly morbid conversation with Rose, Karkat sleeping peacefully beside you. It lasts a couple hours before she decides to rest, leaving you to stew in your thoughts.