A Change Encounter~ Chanmin

~Chapter 10~

Few days before the committing

The silence of the night was deafening as Bangchan’s world faded into stillness. Beneath the bridge where he had chosen to end his pain, a small, weathered notebook lay undisturbed, hidden among the shadows. It was a simple thing, yet it held the weight of his heart—the final words of a boy who had loved deeply and lost too much.

In the dim light of his room before he had made his decision, Bangchan had poured his soul into this notebook, each page filled with memories, reflections, and regrets. The cover was adorned with a small drawing of the Han River, the place where he felt he would find peace at last.

As the dawn broke, casting a soft glow over the city, a chill ran through the air, and the sun’s rays flickered against the pages of his final testament.

"To my beloved family," he had begun, his handwriting shaky but determined. "If you are reading this, I am sorry. I have tried my best to be the son you wanted me to be, but the weight of expectation has become too much. I hope you can forgive me."

He included pictures of his siblings—Bahng Lucas and Bahng Hannah—taped to the pages with loving notes beside them, each word drenched in his affection and sorrow. He recalled their laughter, the warmth of their embraces, and the moments that had made life worth living.

"Lucas, you are so full of potential. Promise me you will chase your dreams, no matter what. Hannah, keep shining your light. You are the artist of our family, and the world needs your creativity. I love you both more than you can imagine."

But it was the letter to Seungmin that took the most time and care. He felt a surge of emotion as he recalled their moments together—their laughter, the shared secrets, the love that had once felt so pure.

"Seungmin," he wrote, his heart heavy with regret. "You were my first love, the one who showed me what it meant to truly care for someone. I wish things had turned out differently for us. You deserved someone who could be there for you, not someone who faltered under pressure. I hope you find happiness in your life. You are worth so much more than you realize."

With trembling hands, he wrote the words that would haunt Seungmin for the rest of his life. "I will always love you, even in death. I am sorry for leaving you with this burden, but my heart was breaking too deeply to carry on."

And then there was the most chilling aspect of his farewell—the ink of his letters was a deep, crimson red. He had used his blood to write the words that had spilled from his heart, each drop a testament to his pain and the intensity of his emotions. It was a macabre symbol of the love he held, a final act of devotion to the people he cared about.

The notes were left on the small table beside his bed, alongside the photographs that captured moments frozen in time. The first rays of sunlight kissed the pages, illuminating the dark truths and love that lay within.

Days passed before anyone would find the notebook, and when it did, the shockwaves rippled through Bangchan’s family. Lucas and Hannah were devastated, their brother’s absence palpable in the void he had left behind. Their laughter turned to tears as they read the words he had left for them, struggling to comprehend the magnitude of their loss.

But it was Seungmin who felt the most profound ache. As he stood at the café where they used to meet, memories flooding back, he received a call from Bangchan’s mother. The tremor in her voice told him everything he needed to know.

With a heavy heart, he rushed to Bangchan’s home, fear gnawing at him. As he entered, the sight of Bangchan's notebook on the table stopped him in his tracks. It felt like a portal to a world he had longed to share with Bangchan.

Seungmin opened the pages, the blood-tinged words blurring with his tears. Each letter felt like a dagger to his heart. He choked back sobs, his hands trembling as he traced the familiar letters. “I will always love you…”

The weight of regret washed over him, and for the first time, he felt the crushing realization of what he had lost. His mind raced with memories of their shared moments, the laughter that now felt distant, and the love that had slipped through his fingers.

In that moment, standing amidst the remnants of Bangchan's life, Seungmin vowed to carry Bangchan’s memory with him. He would honor his love by living a life that celebrated the joy they once shared, and he would do everything in his power to ensure that his spirit would never be forgotten.

As he left the house, notebook in hand, he whispered into the wind, “I will love you forever, Bangchan. Your story is not over; I will make sure of that.”

And with those words, the journey of grief began—a journey that would lead Seungmin to discover not only the depths of his love but also the strength to face the world without the boy who had captured his heart.