Her Awakening

Chapter 36: Awakening to letting go

The morning was bittersweet—exciting but full of emotions I hadn't expected to hit me so hard. Today was the twins' first day of school. They were bouncing with excitement, chattering non-stop about their new uniforms and the friends they were sure they'd make. But me? I could barely hold it together. It felt like just yesterday they were babies in my arms, and now here they were, ready to walk into their first classroom like little adults.

I tried to smile through it all as I fixed their ties and buttoned up their shirts, but the tears kept threatening to spill over. My babies were growing up so fast.

I was startled by a knock at the door, and when I opened it, Jalal stood there, his familiar smile lighting up the morning.

"I couldn't let them start their first day without wishing them good luck," he said, stepping inside with Personalised Backpacks—one for Melody, one for Markie.

The kids squealed in delight, throwing themselves into his arms, and I stood off to the side, watching the scene with watery eyes. Great, now they were going to insist I transfer all their school supplies into the new backpacks. Looking at the scene in front of me though I didn't mind, it was obvious how much he loved my children already just because they were a part of me, and maybe because the kids could sense how much he loved me they easily gravitated towards him.

"Don't cry, Princess," Jalal whispered as he pulled me into his arms, sensing my emotion before I even said anything. His hands gently cupped my face as he kissed my forehead softly. "They'll be fine. You've raised them to be smart and strong. You should be proud."

"I know... but they're still my babies," I sniffed, trying to keep my tears at bay.

We spent the next hour taking pictures of the twins in their little uniforms—posing by the front door, pretending to wave goodbye as they laughed, excited about the new adventure. I tried my best to smile through the ache in my chest.

As we arrived at the school, the flood of emotions hit me again. The school gates were buzzing with energy—parents waving, children running off to meet their classmates. It was all too much. The sight of them walking into the school, hand in hand, made me want to scoop them back up and keep them little forever.

Jalal noticed the tears spilling from my eyes, and without a word, he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close. I buried my face in his shoulder, the scent of his cologne comforting me as the teacher led Melody and Markie inside.

"They're going to be okay," he reassured me. His voice was soft, gentle. "And so are you, you big cry baby."

I took a deep breath laughing, wiping the last of my tears as I watched the doors close behind them. "I know... I just didn't expect it to hit me this hard."

Jalal kissed my forehead once more before we turned to leave, but not before I spotted Joshua walking towards us.

An awkward tension hung in the air for a brief second as the three of us stood there. Joshua gave a slight nod of acknowledgment to Jalal, who returned it with the same measured politeness.

"Hey," Joshua greeted me, smiling. "How are you holding up? I didn't expect to see you here this early, Jalal."

Jalal smiled, stepping aside. "Just here to wish the kids good luck. I'll leave you two to it—I've got to head to work. Melissa, you've got this. I'll call you later."

Before leaving, Jalal leaned down and pecked my lips, his hand lingering briefly on my shoulder before he walked off. I couldn't help but notice the small frown that flickered across Joshua's face.

After Jalal left, Joshua and I walked inside for our meeting with the head of year. The meeting was straightforward, discussing the curriculum and expectations for the year ahead. I could feel Joshua's eyes on me from time to time, though he stayed quiet during the meeting. Once it was done, we both felt a strange need to catch up.

"So... coffee?" Joshua suggested, glancing around as parents filtered out of the building. "There's a café nearby."

We settled at a little café down the street, the kind of place we used to frequent when things were simpler. The kids were gone, the house was quiet, and for the first time in a long time, we sat down as two people who had shared a life—now navigating a different path.

"I can't believe they're already in school," I said, showing him the pictures of the kids we took that morning.

He chuckled. "They're growing up fast, but when I look at them I still see  little babies."

"I know. " I laughed. "I'm just... not ready to let go yet."

Joshua smiled, stirring his coffee. "You're doing great. I know it's been a crazy year, but you've done an amazing job with them."

There was a brief pause before he added, with a smirk, "So, you've got a new type now yeah? Older Asian men? I see you."

I rolled my eyes, laughing at the playful jab. "Shut up. You're just jealous he's taller than you."

"Touché," he grinned. "Nah, he seems like a good guy. The kids like him?"

"Yeah, they do. But... there's something I wanted to talk to you about." I shifted in my seat, the mood turning a bit more serious. "You know how I communicated with you before introducing the kids to Jalal...?."

Joshua's expression softened, but I could tell he was thinking. "Yeah I didn't handle that well."

"No you didn't Josh, you should've talked to me first". I say sternly.

"I know she's been around the kids more than you've mentioned," I said gently, not wanting to start an argument. "Melody told me she saw you kiss. Josh, I don't have a problem with you dating, but I need to know that Emma's going to be consistent if she's going to be around the twins."

Joshua sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I get it. Emma and I are trying to make it official, but I didn't want to introduce her too soon. I should've told you earlier. I'm sorry."

I nodded, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I don't want her alone with them unless I can trust her. You get that, right?"

"Yeah, I do," he agreed. "I'll make sure of it. No one's taking your place, Melissa."

Nobody can take my place, especially not Emma.

With that settled, we finished our coffee in more comfortable silence. After saying our goodbyes, I headed to the library near the kids' new school. Writing this new book I started on when I met  Jalal. His love had inspired a new story, one that I was eager to continue.

Before I knew it, the clock struck three, and I rushed out of the library to pick up my babies. I was probably the first parent there, as usual Their excitement was contagious but it was obvious the new routine exhausted them. As they spilled out of their classroom, they ran into my arms as I embraced them.

To celebrate, I took them for ice cream, soaking up their stories as they giggled and licked their cones.Madame Dupont joined us halfway through and the kids immediately jumped on her telling her all about their exciting day at 'big school'.

It was agreed with my father, her boss that Madame Dupont was going to continue to tutor the kids after school and on Saturdays; one thing African parents didn't joke about was education, but we agreed to cut it down if I felt that it was too much for the kids.

As we sat at the park, in winter with our ice-cream laughing It felt like a perfect ending to a big day.