dandelions || Levi x Reader

8. tipping culture is out of hand

Something has to be done at this point.

He's texting you nonstop. He's fucking smiling- smiling- at his phone whenever you respond. Ever since Sunday, he's gone back twice: once to get flowers for his dining room table, and another just to talk. He'd been there for half an hour until another customer came in and you had to help them out.

He'd left without buying anything, and that's about when it clued in for him that he was in this a bit too deep. 

Should he ask you out? On a proper date, not one strolling through a cemetery?

Probably.

Screw this. Why can't you just ask him out? Why does he have to ask you? Feminism and all that. You can ask him out, right? He asked you out last time.

'Last time' being to a cemetery. Okay, not a strong argument.

His coworkers seem to share the sentiment, because every single day without fail, one of them comes by his desk to ask if he's sucked it up and asked you out yet. He ran out of different answers rather quickly and has resorted to repeating "fuck off". 

Hange is by far the most consistent of them all. They keep announcing plans and pick up lines which range from flower puns ("Are you a garden, because I'm digging you!") and vibrant poetry ("Like a lone lotus floating in a pond, you are serene and beautiful"). Levi asked if there's any budget left for ear plugs (he was denied).

At the very least, they're all talk. To the best of his knowledge, none of them have actually talked to you or done anything unreasonable. Even Hange, who has had several conversations with you now, hasn't gone to talk to you.

...that he knows of. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

"Oh, I have another one!" Hange announces bright and early on a Monday morning.

Levi groans. Apparently, he's the only one sick of this, because a few other people laugh. "How bad this time, Hange?" Gunther asks.

Hange points at Levi. Levi glares. "If you were a flower, you'd be a damn-delion!" 

That warrants several groans. "That's just awful," Moblit murmurs.

"Dandelions are weeds, not flowers, idiot," Levi scolds. "That one's just stupid."

"They are?" Hange raises their hands in surrender. "Sorry, Mr. Flower Expert!"

He rolls his eyes. "Basic fucking knowledge," he grumbles, unwilling to admit that a month ago he never would've made the distinction.

"They're not?" Oluo asks. "Why not?"

He doesn't answer. When he realizes the office has gone quiet, he looks up. Everyone's staring at him. "What?" Levi snaps. "You all have computers and working search engines. You're not useless."

"But we're trying to bond, Levi!" Hange whines. "Let us bond with you!"

"No."

"Mean!"

"Okay, wait, sorry if I'm still not understanding," Oluo says loudly, gesturing to Levi, "but what happened to no flirting with the local businesses? Because that girl in the donut place-"

"Ah ah ah! We don't talk about the donut place!" Hange insists.

"Thank fuck that poor girl didn't sue," Flagon mumbles.

"But yes, I get where you're coming from, no messing up the local businesses- but on the other hand, this is Levi we're talking about," they add, gesturing to him. "When have you ever known him to have a feeling other than apathy?"