blame it on the rain-monsters: the lyle and erik menendez story.

chapter 11.

Huge trigger warning for this chapter. It will deal with taking certain medication and suicidal thoughts and references. Please be cautious reading.

"October 13th, 1996.

Erik, this is my first letter to you from prison. The other ladies in here told me it may take a few weeks at the longest for you to receive my letters. But I promise, I will write you every day I'm in here. For the next ten years here, and then the rest of my life after I'm out I will write you. I swear by that.
It's boring in here. So far I've read about five books already. You know I'm a fast reader. I've kept up with working out. I've cried so many nights over the fact I'll never play tennis again. Not professionally or in an actual tournament at least ever again. There's a a courtyard. When it's warm out, they let us stand in the sunshine. It's a privilege, they say and to not fuck it up.
I haven't made any friends. I can't eat anything here. I can only drink the milk. I've lost some weight from that, but I'm still trying to become stronger. My Mom and Eileen call almost every day. I'm running out of dimes to call them.
I love you, Erik. I promise I'm doing okay in here.

Love, Rose."

"October 27th. 1996.

Rose, I'm just now receiving your letter. I can only drink the milk too, but I've gained a tolerance for some of the food. I haven't received any other letters, but it's okay. I'm sure they'll come soon.
I've only been out a handful of times. They're a lot stricter here. I'm really pale. Have you wrote to Lyle yet? I have, but like you said, mail is slow.
They have me on Xanax still. It's helped me sleep better these past few weeks and i'm grateful for that.
All Lyle complains about is motherfucking dimes. All he wants is dimes. He wrote me the first month we were in here and that's all he said. Dimes. Fuck the dimes.
I haven't had a lot of visitors as of recently, but grandma called yesterday and said she'll be here to visit soon. I guess I'll go now. It's time for lunch. I hope they have something digestible.
I love you, Rosie.

Sincerely,
Erik M."

"November 7th, 1996.

Erik,

Christmas is coming up soon. I don't know how to feel about spending it alone in my cell. They've not said anything, but they've been playing Hallmark Xmas movies on the television. They're cheesy but I watch them anyway. They make me feel lonely.
I haven't been able to sleep as of recently. I spend my nights tossing and turning. I dream about seeing you again. I dream of my home.
I've got to go. Shower time.

Love, Rose."

"November 27th, 1996.

Rose, your sister and mother visited me yesterday. They said you've put on suicide watch? Please be okay. I'm here, even if you can't see me. I write every time I get a letter. I'm not ignoring your letters.
Please don't do anything. I love you. I've loved you since I was sixteen years old. Even if I never get out of here, you will. You have so much more life left to live than being stuck in a cell. You could get married. You could have children. You have a life, Rosealine. Don't throw it all away.
I know how you feel. During the trial, you don't even know how many times I considered it. Then I'd look at you in the courtroom with me. I couldn't breathe when you'd go and testify for me and you'd cry for me. Your sensitivity is one of the things I love most about you. I fell in love with it. I fell in love with you.
No one has ever cared for me like you do before. I can't lose that. I can't lose you.
Please. I love you.

Love, Erik."

"December 10th, 1996.
Erik,

I'm so sorry I didn't answer. They wouldn't allow me to have pens in my cell. I was on watch up until last week.
They have me on Zoloft. It's an antidepressant.
I've never been on medication like this before—is this gonna be bad? Will it make me feel better or worse?
I'm scared. But I'm okay. I didn't try anything, but they noticed my mental health deteriorating. I'm okay I promise. I wasn't sure you'd get my letter at all actually. I'm happy you did. Thank you for checking in on me.
My doctor asked me what would make me happy. I said touching you would. It won't happen soon. But I like to dream about it.
I love you.

Love, 
Rose."

797 words.
i decided to give a short second chapter
these are letters between erik and rose while they were both in prison soooo
make sure to vote and comment!
thank you for 10k words!