Crossing the line

11: Inner Struggle

JAKE

Jake leaned against the fence in the backyard, casually tossing the football between his hands as he watched Liam and Ava interact. On the surface, he maintained an air of nonchalance, appearing unfazed as his best friend joked and laughed with Ava. But inside, he was anything but calm.

His heart raced as he took in the sight of her-her hair catching the sunlight, the way she smiled so easily, how she effortlessly brightened the space around her. God, he was crazy about her, and the realization only deepened the turmoil within him.

Every moment he spent with her felt electric, like the static charge before a storm, but ever since their intense conversation, he had clamped down on those feelings. Protecting her was his priority, even if it meant denying his own desires.

"Hey, Jake! You in there, man?" Liam's voice cut through his thoughts, and Jake blinked, refocusing on the present. He shrugged, tossing the ball to Liam without meeting his gaze.

"Yeah, just thinking about the game later," he replied, attempting to keep his tone light.

"Right. You can't get distracted now, can you?" Liam grinned, nudging him playfully. "You need to be at your best against those guys."

"Sure," Jake said, forcing a chuckle, though his mind was still half-focused on Ava. She was laughing at something Liam said, and it drove him crazy to hear her sweet voice so carefree when he felt anything but.

He glanced at her, unable to resist the pull. Ava caught his eye for a brief second, and a flicker of something passed between them-a spark that ignited a familiar longing deep within him. He quickly looked away, pretending to inspect the football in his hands as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

The truth was, every time he locked eyes with her, it was like the ground beneath him shifted. He didn't want to feel this way; he didn't want to let himself want her so fiercely. The potential for disaster loomed overhead like a thundercloud. If anything went wrong, it wouldn't just hurt him-it would hurt Liam too.

He felt suffocated by his own feelings. How could he let himself fall for her when he had spent so much time convincing himself it was a bad idea? The internal battle raged on, each side waging war against the other.

"Hey, Jake," Ava said, her voice breaking through his thoughts again. She had walked over to join them, and he felt a rush of warmth at her presence, though he kept his expression neutral. "Can I throw the ball?"

"Sure," he said, trying to keep his tone casual. Inside, he was already thinking of a million ways this could go wrong, but he threw the ball to her anyway.

Ava caught it effortlessly, her fingers dancing around the leather as she grinned at him. The sight was intoxicating. Watching her throw the ball back and forth with Liam made his chest tighten. Every throw, every smile, it was like she was pulling him further into the storm of his own making.

They played for a while, tossing the football around, but Jake's focus was more on Ava than the game. He noticed how her laughter rang like music in the air, how her eyes sparkled with life. It hurt to be this close yet feel so far away.

After a few rounds of passing, Ava turned to him, her expression shifting slightly as if she sensed the distance he was trying to maintain. "Jake, you okay? You've been a little quiet today."

"Yeah, just tired, I guess," he replied, hoping the lie wouldn't sound too obvious.

She narrowed her eyes, her gaze piercing through him. "Tired, huh? Or just avoiding me?"

The playful challenge in her tone sent a jolt through him, and he fought the urge to reach out, to bridge the gap. "Not avoiding you. Just focusing on the game," he said, trying to sound indifferent.

But Ava wasn't buying it. She stepped closer, the warmth of her presence enveloping him, making it hard to breathe. "You know you can talk to me, right? If something's bothering you-"

"It's not," he interjected, a little too sharply. Her expression faltered, and guilt washed over him instantly. He softened his tone. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" she pressed, her curiosity evident.

"Just... life, you know?" he replied, his heart racing. He was treading dangerously close to revealing too much, and he wasn't ready for that. Not now. "I'll be fine."

Ava studied him for a moment, and he could see the confusion mixed with concern on her face. "Okay," she said slowly, her voice tinged with disappointment. "Just know I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, I appreciate that," he managed, forcing a smile even though his heart ached at the thought of pushing her away.

Ava turned back to Liam, and Jake felt an overwhelming sense of loss wash over him. The more he pulled away, the more he felt the walls closing in, trapping him in a prison of his own making. He watched as Ava laughed with Liam, her face lighting up with joy, and he felt the pang of jealousy creeping in.

As they continued tossing the football, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was losing something special. Each moment spent pretending everything was fine felt like a step toward a cliff, one he was terrified to jump from. He had to protect her; that was the only thing that mattered.

But in protecting her, he was hurting himself, and the irony stung more than he cared to admit. For now, he would keep playing the role of the nonchalant best friend while battling the tempest within.

Jake glanced at Ava once more, feeling the familiar ache return. She was everything he had ever wanted, and yet he was terrified of what that meant. It was a mess he wasn't sure he could navigate, but as he stood there, watching her laugh, he realized he was already in too deep to turn back now.

Thought I'd be generous and give you a little sneak of the mind of our little golden retriever. Sadly, Ava can't read his mind so she has no idea about these strong feelings... oh well. The story must go on..
<3