Crossing the line

28: Goodbye

JAKE

The morning light crept softly through the curtains, casting a warm glow over Ava's room. I blinked a few times, slowly waking up, only to find her still curled up next to me, her breath soft and even as she slept. Her hair was tousled from sleep, and one arm rested against my chest. For a moment, I couldn't move, afraid that if I did, I'd break whatever magic kept this moment in place.

I couldn't stop myself from staring at her, at the way the sunlight made her skin glow, the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She was beautiful. Always had been. But now, lying here beside me, she looked even more so. Like she belonged here with me, like this was exactly where we were supposed to be.

God, how had I gotten so lucky?

I'd loved her for so long, but having her like this-waking up next to her, feeling the warmth of her body against mine-was something I hadn't let myself imagine until now. And yet, it felt so right, like everything had finally clicked into place.

My heart swelled in my chest, a mix of happiness and something deeper, something that made me ache. I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, careful not to wake her too suddenly. She shifted slightly, a sleepy groan escaping her lips, and then she smiled, eyes still closed.

"Morning," she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep, that smile still lingering on her lips.

That smile. It made my heart tighten in a way that almost hurt. I wanted to stay like this forever, to keep her safe in my arms and never have to leave. But I knew I had to go. My time here was running out, and the reality of it hit me hard.

"I have to go," I whispered, my voice rough, hating the words even as I said them.

She opened her eyes then, blinking a few times to clear the haze of sleep. The smile faded from her face, replaced by something sadder, something that mirrored the ache in my chest.

"You're leaving?" she asked, her voice soft, her eyes searching mine.

I nodded, running a hand through my hair, trying to keep my voice steady. "Yeah... I have to."

The silence between us felt heavy, like we both knew this moment had been coming, but neither of us wanted to face it. I wanted to tell her I'd stay, that I'd never leave if I could, but we both knew that wasn't possible.

Ava sat up slowly, pulling the blanket around her shoulders, her gaze locked on mine. "I know," she whispered. "I just... I wish you didn't have to."

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. "I wish I didn't either."

She leaned forward then, wrapping her arms around me, and I held her close, burying my face in her hair. I didn't want to let go. Not yet.

We sat there for a moment, wrapped in each other, neither of us saying anything, because there wasn't much left to say. When she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes, but she smiled through them.

"I'll miss you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away a tear that had fallen. "I'll miss you too. More than you know."

She pressed her forehead against mine, our breaths mingling, and for a second, I thought about staying. About throwing everything aside and staying with her. But I couldn't. I had to go, and that thought ripped through me like a storm.

"I'll be back," I promised, my voice hoarse. "This isn't goodbye. We'll figure it out, Ava. I swear."

She nodded, her eyes locked on mine, but I could see the doubt there, the worry that came with distance and time. Still, she forced another smile, and it broke my heart.

We kissed one last time, slow and lingering, and then I stood up, pulling on my clothes. Every movement felt heavier than the last, like each step I took toward the door was dragging me further away from her. I couldn't look back as I opened the door, knowing if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave.

"Jake," she called softly as I stepped into the hallway. I turned, meeting her eyes, and she smiled, that same sad smile that had been tearing me apart all morning. "I'll be waiting."

I gave her one last nod, my throat tight, and then I left, closing the door behind me.

As I walked out of her building, the cool morning air hit me, but it didn't help. My chest felt tight, and my head was spinning. Leaving her felt wrong in every way, but what choice did I have? I'd be back-I had to believe that. I had to believe that this was just the beginning, not the end.

But as I climbed into my truck, the feeling in my chest didn't go away. I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white as I tried to push down the emotions threatening to spill over. I had to leave her behind for now, but I'd be damned if I didn't find my way back to her.

Because she was it for me. Always had been. Always would be.