Crossing the line

24: confessions

AVA

Jake stood in my apartment, just a few feet away from me, and yet, it felt like the world had shrunk to the space between us. The air was thick with everything unsaid, everything that had been building for years. His confession hung in the air, raw and real, and I could barely believe he was here, in front of me, saying all the things I'd been longing to hear.

But there was one thing I still didn't understand.

"When did this start, Jake?" I asked, my voice soft, almost afraid to break the moment. "When did you start... feeling like this?"

Jake's eyes flickered, and for a moment, I thought he might shut down again, the way he'd always done before. But something was different now. Maybe it was because he was here, standing in my apartment, or maybe because he'd finally reached his limit. Either way, when he looked at me, his gaze steady and full of something I couldn't quite name, I knew he was ready to tell me the truth.

He took a deep breath, stepping closer to me, and I could see the hesitation in his eyes. "It started a long time ago, Ava," he began, his voice low and quiet, like he was confessing something he'd kept buried for too long. "Back in high school."

I blinked, caught off guard. High school? I had no idea. I'd always thought of Jake as Liam's best friend back then. Always around, always teasing me like an older brother would, but never anything more. At least, I didn't think so.

Jake ran a hand through his hair, his eyes drifting away for a moment as if he was back there, reliving it. "You were Liam's little sister. That's how it started. But one day... I don't know, things just changed. I saw you differently. You weren't just my best friend's kid sister anymore."

I stared at him, trying to piece together the timeline in my head. "When?"

He let out a breath, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "It was around your sophomore year. You'd come back from summer break, and you just... you'd grown up. I noticed, and I hated myself for it. I didn't want to think about you that way, Ava. But I couldn't help it."

I felt my heart skip a beat. Sophomore year? That was so long ago. How had I not known? How had I missed the signs? Or maybe I hadn't, maybe I just hadn't been paying attention the way I should have.

Jake's expression softened as he looked at me, his voice becoming more vulnerable with each word. "It was little things at first. The way you laughed at my jokes, how you always knew exactly how to get under my skin in the most annoying way. But then... then it got deeper. I started thinking about you when you weren't around. Wondering what you were doing, what you were thinking. It scared the hell out of me, Ava."

I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. "Why didn't you say anything?"

He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. "Because how was I supposed to tell my best friend's sister that I had feelings for her? It wasn't like I could just come out and say it. Liam would've killed me. And then... I didn't think you'd ever feel the same. I was just some guy to you, right? Liam's friend. That's all I ever was."

I opened my mouth to protest, to tell him he was wrong, but he kept going.

"I kept hoping, though. Hoping that maybe, someday, you'd see me as something more. That maybe, if I was patient, things would change. And I waited. But then you started dating other guys, bringing them around, and I realized I was probably just fooling myself."

Jake's words hit me like a ton of bricks. All those years, all the moments we'd shared, and I'd never known. I'd never seen the way he looked at me, never realized the depth of his feelings. And now, standing here in my apartment, I was suddenly flooded with guilt. How could I have been so blind?

"But then last Christmas..." he continued, his voice trailing off. "I thought things were changing between us. The way you were looking at me, the way we were talking... I thought maybe you were starting to feel something too."

"I was," I whispered, my heart pounding. "I did."

His eyes shot up to meet mine, surprise and relief flickering in his gaze. "You did?"

I nodded, taking a step closer to him. "I didn't know what it was at first, but yeah, Jake, I did. I felt it too. I just didn't know what to do about it. I was afraid of screwing things up, afraid that I was imagining it. And then... you didn't say anything, so I figured maybe I was wrong."

Jake let out a long breath, like the weight of everything he'd been holding in for so long was finally lifting. "You weren't wrong, Ava. I've wanted to say something for years, but I was terrified. I didn't want to ruin what we had, what I had with Liam. But I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending like I don't feel the way I do."

He stepped closer to me, closing the last bit of distance between us, and for the first time, I could see the depth of his emotions in his eyes. This wasn't just some fleeting crush or passing infatuation. This was something deeper, something that had been growing for years, and now it was all out in the open.

"I've loved you for a long time, Ava," he said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. "I've tried to bury it, tried to move on, but I can't. You're the one person I can't stop thinking about. And I'm tired of pretending that I don't want more."

My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn't speak. All the pieces were falling into place, and I realized just how much I'd wanted to hear those words, how much I'd been waiting for this moment.

"I don't want to pretend either," I said softly, my voice shaking with emotion. "I've been waiting for you, Jake. I just didn't know if you'd ever feel the same."

He looked at me, his eyes full of something so intense it took my breath away. "I've always felt the same. I was just too scared to tell you."

And with that, the space between us disappeared. Jake reached out, gently pulling me into his arms, and for the first time, it felt like everything was exactly where it was meant to be.

There was no more hiding. No more pretending. We were finally on the same page, and for the first time in years, I felt like the future was ours to write together.