(DANNY'S POV)
"Danny, you know mama loves you right?" She reaches for my hand as I stand straight, not knowing what to do with her.
"I know, mama." I wipe my tears with the back of my hand, feeling helpless.
"Come here, baby. Come to me. Don't be scared. Just come." She pleads with teary eyes. I know what is coming next. The usual speech.
I give in and finally take her hand and sit next to her on the floor. She stumbled and fell half an hour ago. She hasn't been able to get up since. My hands are too weak to help her up.
"Here you are... I've been calling you." I heard her fall but stayed away. I was too scared to come near. I don't like it when she screams and cries.
She takes me in her arms, squeezing me. And I can't breathe. Not because she is squeezing me but because of the smell. I don't like it when mom smells bad.
On Sundays, she smells like the flowers at grandma's house. She takes a shower, gets dressed, makes breakfast, then we both head to grandma's house. She always asks me to play pretend. I am the good boy and she is a good mom. We eat good food at home and mom has a job that pays her well. I am getting good at that game. Grandma always believes everything we tell her. Well, we almost got caught a few times but mom is a great story teller.
Today is Friday. On Fridays, mom smells like baby's poop and rotten banana. On Fridays, mom cries a lot. On Fridays, she tells me to make myself a bowl of cereals because she is busy. She sits on the porch and waits for someone. I think she gets sad when the person doesn't come.
I think she is waiting for dad. I don't like dad. I don't want him to come back. He makes my mom cry. Then we can't eat chicken. Then we have to go to the grocery store and the man working there always scolds mom. He always asks her for money and mom says she will pay later. So, he gets angry at her. I don't like that man either.
I don't know why mom doesn't want to take some money from grandma. She has plenty of it. She wants me to come stay with her but mom doesn't want to let me go. She says I am her strength. Mom is crazy. I am a kid. I am not strong. I can't carry her. She is too heavy.
Mom says we will go to church next Sunday as we don't go to grandma's house anymore. Grandma doesn't know where we live. She doesn't come here.
"Danny, my love. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, my baby. Mama will get well soon. We will be okay. I promise."
I stay quiet like always. She says this every time. She is lying again. She never gets well. She will lock herself in the bathroom and do bad things in there. When she comes out, she will be okay. But after that, she will be sad.
I want a real family.
*
"Mom, what if the other kids don't like me?" I ask mom as we get to the gate. Today is our first day at the new church.
"They'll love you, Danny. If they're able to love a wreck like me, there's no doubt they will love my sweet little boy. But if they really don't, God will." She says, fixing her hair.
"What is a wreck, mama?"
"Janet, I'm glad you could make it. Is this Danny?" A lady asks with a wide smile as if she was really happy to see us. She must be the lady mom was talking to on the phone.
"Yes. Danny, say hello to my friend Hollyn." I stare at the lady, not knowing what to say. Mom doesn't have friends. Why is she lying again? Should I lie too?
