(DANIEL'S POV)
"I'm tired right now. Nothing's working. But do keep that energy for another time." I say, caressing her cheek, trying to chase that little frown of hers away.
"I can make you feel good too. You need it." Well, what I need is a good night sleep but...
"I'm good, Ai."
"Danny, please... Let me..."
"I hate it when you're like this, Aiden. When I say no, it's no. I said I'm good. Just let me be. And for fuck sake, stop apologizing, stop pleading, stop suggesting. It's irritating. Boundaries, remember? Can you show some fucking respect? I've been trying to sleep. I said multiple times that I'm tired. I bet my face gives it away anyway but you're playing oblivious. I can't take care of you right now, okay?" I lash out at her, mad to the bone.
"I didn't mean to-"
"Stop, Aiden. Stop! I find a way to take care of you every single day like you're a fucking child. Your tantrums, your pouting, your teasing. But today is not just today. It's the day I lost my mom. My whole world turned upside down. And I can't even be sad cause then you'd be uncomfortable. I can't cry cause you never ever cry. And on top of that, I am the one comforting you, reassuring you, making you feel good when it should be the other way around." My head!
"I asked if you wanted-"
"And I said no. Cause even my cock is aware that I am in the middle of a shitty situation, grieving and tired, which you don't seem to understand. Cause you're so self-centered. And I am to blame too. Cause I contributed to that bad habit. And I am fed up. I'd rather you stayed at home and let me be vulnerable alone. You're not helping." I rage out of the room, totally pissed again.
I wasn't wrong when I said she would have a toll on my sanity. I am losing it. And I know we share responsibility in this matter but I can't help being mad at her. So much resentment emerging out of nowhere.
As I pass by the living room, I find Roland with a concerned look all over his face. He probably heard all the fussing and was heading to my room to see if everything was okay.
"Mr. Wellington, I'm sorry for the intrusion but I heard some noise and wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I am good, thank you." I head outside, still pissed.
A step outside and I feel a presence with me. Turning around, I find Roland coming my way. Will I ever get some time alone?
"I punched my cousin in his face. When my mama died." He starts as he walks to the fountain. I follow him after a second of hesitation and we both sit down without a glance.
"He wasn't doing anything bad. He was trying to help in his own way but the fact that we already had some kind of bad blood, it was easier for me to take it out on him. Anger and alcohol are not the only toxic fuels. A broken-heart tops the list. It makes you say and do things that, believe me, you'll regret later on." He lights up a cigarette, takes a drag and passes it to me.
"My cousin died a few months later of a long, incurable and very well hidden disease. No one knew but himself. I was looking dumb and pathetic for being so hateful instead of forgiving and loving. The worst part is that we were fighting over a guitar. It was my grandpa's and it was dear to him. I don't even play guitar. I just wanted something to remind me of the old man." His English is much better now. Grandma made sure to give him lessons so communication would not be a problem.
"Life is short and unpredictable. Love the people dear to your heart. Let the toxic ones go. But remember, you are the one who will live with whatever decision you make. And sometimes you don't get to have a change of heart before it's too late." He smiles at me.
