Secret Royalty

Chapter Sixteen

The days after laser tag were hard. I knew my parents were coming and the thought terrified me beyond belief. The anxiety outraged. Everyday I would hyperventilate at least twice. I swear, I scared Jed out of his mind each time, but he quickly learned how to calm me. The attacks got to a point where I always had to carry a paper bag with me at all times, just to be safe. We all knew what could happen if I didn’t have one.

Jed and Pierce thought that a trip to Jane’s might help, so after grabbing a hot coco from McDonalds, they drove me to the mansion. They had been talking to her for advice frequently in those weeks. It scared me that sometimes even they didn’t know what to do. Jed and Pierce almost always fixed me one way or another.

 After a short greeting, Aunt Jane wanted to speak to them alone for a brief time, which gave me the opportunity to go to my room. The year after my parent’s disappearance I lived with Jane. She continued to make payments my original house, but because of my mental health at the time, I had to be supervised.

The room was painted a faint green, almost like fresh buds on trees in the spring. It was structured into a square- a bed in the center with windows surrounding it. Amongst quiet and gentle feet, I sat on top the bed and looked at my bookshelf on the opposing wall. Used copies of To Kill A Mockingbird, Lost Horizon, The Giver, and Perks of Being a Wallflower all sat together in a line with other of my favorites from sophomore year.

Once, there was an entire week where I was senseless. When anyone would try and speak to me, I threw things and had outbursts. Jane had me home from school those days, for the safety of others. I didn’t talk to people much then, for my tendencies were horrible. My time was spent rereading each of my twenty-three books (I recounted them often, as well). I memorized each delicate word the authors had created. Sometimes, through my loneliness, I imagined the characters soothing my memories.

On the ceiling I had taped a few Chinese lanterns. They had also calmed me down when my mind was crazed. It was a peaceful view to watch them flutter in the fan’s wind. I stretched out on my light grey comforter when when Aunt Jane cracked the door open.

“Can I come in?” she asked in a warm whisper.

 I nodded and shifted my weight to get a better sight of her.

Soothingly, she sat down adjacent to me. I noticed her blonde hair was slightly darker. “How are you doing?” she asked in a kind manner.

I pursed my lips and pulled my legs up into the fetus position. “Not well. The memories are coming back and I’m scared I’ll see them wherever I go,” I detailed, noticing the pain in my chest was still present.

She ran her fingers along the sides of my legs like she once did when I had nightmares. “I think you just need to remember what the therapist said awhile back.”

When I lived with her, Aunt Jane made me see a therapist. I had no say in the matter because I was completely against the idea and under her rules, though it did help slightly.

I remembered when my therapist told me that I needed to simply focus on the present. Though I was hurt in the past, and undoubtedly would be in the future, I needed to realize what was going on around me. I needed to be happy with the existing joys of life.

“I know. I keep forgetting, but I really do need to start again,” I smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

She smiled back in agreement. “Jut emphasize on that,” she contemplated out loud.

Pierce came in a short time later. “Jed is still downstairs,” she stated, lying down next to me. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah,” I said, examining my- still bandaged –hand. The last time I had checked, the cut wasn’t as deep as before. Jed later said that I was lucky for not needing stitches. He almost needed to take me to the E.R. “Can you get me some hydrogen peroxide? I haven’t soaked the cut yet today.”