Neils Mind monologue before the fight

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My whole life has been an up and down roller coaster. I was on top of the world once, respected in most of my fields of study, making solid progress in my research, and then boom, I'm down here. 

Where the people suck and the affordable food tastes like shit. I've spent a lot of time hiding in the buildings, and what I can say for sure, is that the people here always either come down here shitty, or become shitty from the first kind of people. 

I'm tired, I want to lay down and sleep, why couldn't I just stayed in the rubble. At least I was safe. I just spent a week underground being cut open, punched, tested on, and I'm not even sure I know everything that went on, because I sometimes woke up feeling worse than when I fell asleep. 

And now I'm about to fight the big man, or should I say Bigboy, as he seems to want to be called, but who am I to judge at this point, all the power I have and I don't even know how to control it. I'm just winging it from now. I'm malnourished, I haven't been eating enough and I can see my rib cage. This guy is huge, I was able to lift a few tons and he overpowered me, so he must be strong. 

I'm hurt and I'm tired, and I just want to go back to my abandoned building. But I can't I'm in too deep now. I know about the underground. And that makes me a threat to this guy. Most people would just ignore this, they'd strike a deal or something, they'd do anything to save their own skin, and I think, why shouldn't I do it? Everyone down here would, there's not a single person who'd be a coward and sell their soul to save their own hide. 

But I know I shouldn't, not because I know it can be worse for me later, but because what he's doing is wrong, and that if I can do something about it, than I should. Most sinners would be afraid, it's why they would sell their souls.

I'm not afraid. I'm tired, I'm injured and I wish I had some pain killers, but I'm not afraid. If I'm going down, so if I'm going down, I'm not going down alone. 

Word count: 406

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