My Player Bestfriend (Book #1)

Chapter Fourteen

Mary

I didn't want to go.

But Sarah begged.
And Jackie bribed me with brownies and a playlist full of early 2010s bangers.

So I said yes.
Because maybe, just maybe, I could pretend for one night that I wasn't still unraveling over someone who didn't deserve me.

The second I walked through the door, I knew.

He was there.

I didn't even have to see him — I could feel it. That shift in gravity. The way air suddenly felt heavier. Like my lungs had to work harder to pull anything in.

And then I saw him.

Austin.

He was standing near the kitchen, drink in hand, talking to Drew and laughing at something. But when his eyes met mine, his whole face changed.

He looked like someone who hadn't slept in days.

And suddenly, I was that girl again — the one who used to melt when he looked at her like that.

The worst part?

A tiny part of me still did.

Austin

I wasn't going to go.

I told Alex I was exhausted. I told myself I didn't care.

But the second he said Mary might be there, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away.

I don't know what I was expecting. Definitely not this.

She walked in wearing a red sweater that made her look soft and unapproachable at the same time. Her hair was tied up, just the way I used to like it — messy, like she hadn't tried but still looked better than anyone in the room.

And then our eyes met.

Fuck.
I swear my heart actually stopped.

She didn't smile. Didn't flinch. She just looked, and it gutted me.

Because I used to be able to read every thought behind those eyes.

Now? Nothing.

Just cold.

And I deserved it.

Mary

"Want a drink?" Sarah asked.

I nodded, even though I didn't want one.

I just needed something to hold. Something to focus on that wasn't him.

But he was still watching me. I could feel it.
Like a weight on my skin.
Like a question I wasn't ready to answer.

I escaped to the back balcony. The cool air hit me fast, but I welcomed it. It gave me something to focus on that wasn't my racing thoughts.

And then, of course — the door creaked open behind me.

I didn't have to turn to know.

"Austin," I said, keeping my eyes on the city lights.

"Mary."

Even just my name in his voice felt like a bruise being pressed.

"You shouldn't have followed me," I said softly.

"I didn't follow you. I needed air."

I turned to him. "So now we're just two broken people avoiding the party together?"

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Something like that."

Austin

She was trying so hard to keep her guard up.

I could see it in the way her arms were folded across her chest, her eyes focused on the skyline like it had something more important to say than I ever could.

I didn't blame her.

I wouldn't trust me either.

But I had to say something. I couldn't go another night knowing she was right there — still hurting — and I wasn't even trying to fix it.

"I heard about you and Luke," I said.

She turned to me, slow. "Is that why you're here? To give some jealous ex speech?"

"No," I said. "I'm here because... I don't know how to stop missing you."

She blinked.

Her voice cracked, just a little. "Missing someone isn't enough."

"I know. But it's the truth."

"I'm trying, Austin," she said, suddenly. "I'm trying so hard to move forward. And you showing up here, saying stuff like that — it just pulls me back in."

I stepped closer. "Do you want to be pulled back in?"

"I want to not hurt when I see you," she snapped. "I want to not wonder if I'm just a chapter in your story while you're the whole damn book in mine."

That one hit hard.

I swallowed. "You were never just a chapter. You were everything. I just didn't realize it until I lost you."

She stared at me. Her eyes were glassy.

"Austin, I don't know if I can trust you. I don't know if I even know who you are anymore."

"I'm trying to be better," I whispered. "Not for you. For me. But yeah, mostly for you."

Mary

I hated him.

I hated how easy it was to fall into old rhythms.
How my body still leaned toward his, even when my brain screamed danger.

I looked at him — really looked — and he wasn't the same. There was guilt there. Sadness. Something real. Something raw.

And part of me wanted to believe him.

"Why now?" I asked. "Why show up? Why not just let me keep moving on?"

"Because I couldn't," he said. "Because even if you never speak to me again, I needed you to know — I never stopped loving you. Not for one second."

My throat burned. My hands were shaking.

"I slept with Luke."

He flinched. I saw it. Like a hit to the gut.

I didn't say it to hurt him. I said it because I needed to see his face. I needed to know if it mattered.

He nodded. Looked down. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"You don't owe me anything," he said. "You did what I made you feel like you had to do. I didn't fight for you when I should have. So if you needed someone who showed up when I didn't — I get it."

And that? That broke something open in me.

Because I wanted to hate him.

But he wasn't making it easy.