My Player Bestfriend (Book #1)

Chapter Twenty Four

I had been sitting in the waiting room for what felt like hours, staring at the white walls, the sterile environment that felt so foreign to me. Everything about this moment was wrong. It had been days since I had found out I was pregnant. Days since the weight of the world had dropped on my shoulders, and I still hadn't fully wrapped my mind around it.

I wasn't ready to be a mother. I had barely gotten my own life together, and now this?

The doctor had told me to come in for an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy, and though I had braced myself for the possibility of bad news, I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't prepared for the silence that would soon engulf me, the kind of silence that felt like a hole in my chest.

I tried not to think about it. Tried to distract myself by scrolling through my phone, but everything felt too overwhelming. I hadn't responded to Austin's texts or calls all day. I hadn't even answered Luke, who had been trying to get in touch with me ever since I left him hanging the night before. I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't deal with their questions, their concerns, their expectations. I needed time. Time alone.

Time to figure out if I could live with the decision that had already been made for me.

When my name was called, I stood up automatically, the weight of my own body like lead on my feet. I followed the nurse down the long hallway, the smell of antiseptic burning my nose. I wanted to turn around and run, but there was no turning back now.

The room was cold, the ultrasound machine's soft hum making everything seem even more surreal. The nurse instructed me to lie down, and I did so, still unable to shake the sense of dread that was creeping up on me.

The gel was cold when she applied it to my stomach, the sensation making me shiver. She moved the wand around slowly, her eyes focused on the screen in front of her. I tried to watch it, but I couldn't. I didn't want to see it. Not until I knew.

The nurse's silence was unnerving. She wasn't saying anything, not offering the usual small talk, not making any comment about what she was seeing. I knew something was wrong.

And then, after what felt like an eternity, she spoke.

"I'm sorry, honey. I can't find a heartbeat."

The words hit me like a physical blow. I stared at the screen, unable to process what she had just said. The silence in the room thickened, and for a moment, everything around me faded. It felt like the world had stopped spinning.

I thought I was going to be sick.

"You're... you're sure?" My voice sounded foreign, small, like it wasn't even mine.

The nurse nodded, her expression soft but distant. "I'm afraid so. I'll have the doctor come in to talk to you, okay?"

I didn't respond. I didn't have the strength to. All I could do was lie there, frozen, as she left the room.

When the doctor came in, her face was gentle, and she explained things in quiet, measured tones. But I didn't hear most of it. I was still too lost in my own thoughts, too consumed by the feeling of loss, of emptiness that was slowly taking over me.

The baby was gone. I was no longer pregnant.

The baby I had barely even started to accept, the one that I had tried so hard to avoid thinking about... it was gone.

By the time I left the doctor's office, I was numb. I didn't know where to go or who to talk to. I had promised myself that I would make things right with Austin. I had promised myself that I would tell him everything, that we would figure this out together. But now... now everything felt pointless. How could I tell him? How could I go back to him and pretend that this wasn't happening?

I couldn't. I didn't know how.

So, instead of going home or calling anyone, I drove. I didn't even know where I was going. I just needed to get away from everything. From the people who cared, from the life that felt like it was slipping through my fingers.

I drove for hours, the road stretching endlessly before me. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not yet. Not when I was still trying to process this myself.

When I finally returned home, it was late. The house felt empty, though it had never been filled with so much noise and drama before. It felt like a foreign place, like I wasn't supposed to be here.

I left my phone on the counter, ignoring the dozens of missed calls and texts, the messages from both Austin and Luke. I didn't want to deal with them. Not now.

I wanted to be alone.

Days passed, and I didn't speak to anyone. I didn't leave the house except for trips to the store, where I could keep my head down and not talk to anyone. I buried myself in distractions—books, shows, anything that could take me away from the reality of what had happened.

But it didn't work. I couldn't outrun the silence that had taken root in my chest.

I knew I was hurting. But I didn't know how to make it stop.

It was late one night when I finally heard the knock on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone. I hadn't been expecting anything, not since I had pulled away from everyone. But when I opened it, there stood Austin.

I froze, my breath catching in my throat. He looked at me, his face a mix of concern and anger, but mostly, I saw hurt in his eyes.

"Mary, we need to talk," he said, his voice softer than I expected.

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him everything, to spill it all out and let him understand why I had been so distant, so unreachable.

But I couldn't.

Instead, I just stepped aside, letting him in.

And for the first time in days, I didn't feel alone.