My Player Bestfriend (Book #1)

Chapter Twenty One

I don't know if it's possible to ever fully erase the kind of hurt I caused Austin. I thought about it every day after I showed up at his rehearsal, telling him I was ready to fight for us. I saw the hurt in his eyes, but also, I saw the tiniest glimmer of hope — like maybe, just maybe, we could make this work.

And so, we started small. We took it one day at a time, one conversation at a time, rebuilding the trust that had crumbled between us. Austin was patient with me — much more patient than I probably deserved. He kissed me again, not out of passion or anger, but with care, like he was learning to trust me again, too.

But despite that, something was off. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. I chalked it up to the stress and the emotional weight I was carrying, but it didn't go away. I felt dizzy some mornings, and there were days I just couldn't keep my food down.

I thought it was just nerves — the long hours on the road with Austin, the late nights, the lack of sleep. I tried to ignore it.

That was, until one morning, I woke up feeling nauseous again.

I stumbled out of bed, trying to steady myself, my head pounding like I'd been hit with a freight train. I went to the bathroom, splashing water on my face, trying to shake off the sickness. I wasn't sure what it was, but I felt off.

I grabbed a test from the back of the bathroom drawer — I'd been delaying this moment, hoping it was just a stomach bug. But I knew deep down, I wasn't fooling myself anymore.

I waited in silence, the timer ticking louder than it should've, until the test showed what I already feared: two pink lines.

I sat there, staring at the test, my hands trembling. I felt dizzy, like the room was closing in on me.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should tell Austin. I didn't know if I was even ready to deal with this, but I knew one thing for sure — I was pregnant. And it wasn't Austin's baby.

It was Luke's.

The next few days felt like a blur. I kept my distance from Austin, even though I could see he was trying — trying to get back to the way things used to be. We spent time together, holding hands, having dinner in quiet, shared spaces, but the distance between us felt so much bigger than it used to.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him what I had found out. Not yet. I knew it would shatter everything we were working to rebuild.

But at the same time, the weight of the secret felt unbearable. I couldn't look at Austin without feeling like I was lying to him — and I was.

I found myself avoiding conversations about the future, about us. Every time Austin asked about the next step or talked about what we could do together after his tour ended, I just nodded and smiled. I wanted to believe things would be okay, that maybe I could get through this without it falling apart.

But I knew deep down, that wasn't possible.

It was late one night when Austin came into the hotel room after his show. He looked tired, but there was a spark in his eyes — the one I used to see when he'd come home after a long day and smile at me like I was the best part of his life.

I had been sitting on the bed, flipping through my phone, trying to distract myself from the storm brewing inside of me. When he walked in, he went straight to the bathroom to change, and I immediately looked away.

"Hey," he said, emerging a few moments later in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, looking so effortlessly handsome. He dropped onto the bed next to me. "I was thinking... Maybe we could take a day off tomorrow? I don't know, hang out together. Just us. We can do something fun."

His voice was hopeful, but there was still an edge to it. He wasn't the same carefree Austin I'd met so long ago. I wasn't sure I was that same girl anymore either.

I faked a smile, my stomach twisting. "Yeah, I'd like that."

But he could tell something was off. He turned his head toward me, his gaze intense. "What's going on with you, Mary? You've been distant for days."

"I'm just tired," I said quickly, trying to brush it off. "Tour life is catching up with me, I guess."

He didn't buy it. "Mary, I know when something's bothering you. You've been avoiding me. Avoiding us. You don't have to keep everything in, you know. You're allowed to talk to me."

I bit my lip, feeling the pressure of the truth weighing me down. I had to tell him. I couldn't keep hiding it from him.

But the words wouldn't come.

"I— I just..." I trailed off, unable to speak.

He reached out, taking my hand gently in his. "Hey, whatever it is, I'm here. We'll figure it out together. Okay?"

I squeezed his hand, my heart heavy. "I don't know if you can fix this," I whispered, my voice shaky.

Austin frowned, leaning closer. "Mary, nothing is unfixable. We've been through worse."

But this wasn't just worse. This was the kind of thing that could shatter everything. I couldn't fix this. I didn't know how to fix this.

I had no idea what was coming next.

Later that night, after Austin fell asleep, I lay awake staring at the ceiling. The truth was suffocating me. I was pregnant with Luke's baby. It didn't matter how hard I tried to fight it, how badly I wanted to make things work with Austin — this wasn't something I could ignore.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. How could I tell him? How could I tell anyone? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Austin again.

But I couldn't carry this secret forever.