Is our ease of conversation not enough? More and more I feel as though you are slipping out of my grasp. My heart aches and breaks because of it. Is it just me? Am I too needy? Why did I allow myself to fall in love from such a distance? Is it even love? Is it obsession or infatuation maybe? Things I usually don't like on a guy, I like on you. Things I didn't think I'd feel again, I feel about you. My ears crave the lilt of your voice and the warmth of your laugh. My heart felt safe in your kind and respectful hands. Now, in the face of your confusion, I don't know anymore. I feel unsure, insecure, and ignored.
And yet, I still can't imagine wanting to be with anyone else.
Like a virus, you infect my mind, my dreams, my everything. It is the oddest thing to be so enveloped by someone. I hate feeling, usually; but I want to feel all of it. I hate feeling like I've lost control of myself. And yet, here I am, drowning for you.
How did I let it come to this? I feel so foolish.
...
8/1/24
