Not It

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The pale lights of this room

Feel like they stretch on

Like somehow I'm smaller

I don't know how to respond

I have been hiding from it

Days have passed as I have

Tried to dismiss this truth

That you will never be my man

Our friendship has flourished

We've allowed it to grow

I wished it'd been more

But now I know

You are not the one for me

Not now

I don't know why

I wish I knew how

I wish I knew who was

It might be easier to move on

However, it will be as it is

Life goes on

I hate that I feel

My efforts were in vain

You've taught me a lot, though

Even though it's been a pain

I pray that my heart can be free

I pray the Lord directs its path

I pray that I will choose who is right

I pray that I will find something that lasts

The truth is that you won't choose me

You're not ready to commit

The truth is I need more

And that's hard to admit

It was good what we had

I pray we both find better

I know I'll be fine

And one day you'll see I mattered

One day you will regret

Losing such a good friend

For a figment of imagination

This all came to an end

One day you will see

That you could've done more

I hope the girl you choose gets better

Or else what was this for?

Now, I struggle to say goodbye

And I continue to love you still

I pray I can follow what the Lord has said

Not mine, but His will

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