Why me? >Woosan<

13.

Wooyoung POV

It had been two days since San left the country. Two days of scrolling, refreshing, reading, hoping. Two days of watching my phone light up with every notification but never with his name.

I stayed at my mom's house because it was the only place I felt even a little safe. The air smelled like laundry detergent and warm soup. She made sure I ate, even when I had no appetite, and she didn't push. She just looked at me with quiet worry and did small things, set a glass of water beside me, brushed the hair from my eyes when I fell asleep on the couch.

But the news was everywhere. I couldn't escape it. Headlines, forums, blurry photos.

Who is the mystery man Choi San from Ateez has been seeing?
Is San from Ateez gay?
How will this affect Ateez's career?
Will Choi San leave Ateez?

Every time I saw my name hidden between lines of speculation, my stomach dropped. It felt like my skin was made of glass.

My friends came over that afternoon. They sat on the couch with me, quiet at first, until I finally told them everything. How long it had been going on. How scared I'd been.

They were upset, not at me, exactly, but at being shut out. Minji's eyes were glossy but her voice stayed calm. "We would've been there for you, Woo. You didn't have to go through this alone."

"Have you heard from him?" she asked softly.

I shook my head, biting my lip until I tasted blood. "He doesn't even read my messages."

The tears came again, like they always did. I was so tired of crying, of feeling this raw. They all pulled me into a group hug, their warmth surrounding me.

"So what movie are we watching?" Jun asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"A comedy," I muttered, curling up on the couch and pulling a blanket around me. "Please."

We laughed a little that evening, played games. For a few hours I could almost pretend everything was normal. Minho and Jun fell asleep first, sprawled across the floor, leaving me and Minji sitting quietly together.

"Woo," she whispered. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. He doesn't answer my texts, my calls. What can I do?"

She studied me. "Do you like him that much? Maybe... maybe it's better to let it go."

"I love him," I said, staring at my hands.

"Oh."

"I ruined everything." My throat closed, eyes blurring again.

"Give him time," she said softly. "I'm sure he'll call when he can."

Days passed. No messages. No calls.

Going to school felt like walking into a spotlight. Everyone was looking, whispering, pointing.

"How can San be with him?"
"I didn't know he was gay."
"Why would San pick him? It's probably fake."
"He just wants attention."

Their words burned. I stopped eating in the cafeteria. I couldn't bear the stares. I'd sit on the edge of the school grounds instead, scrolling through my phone like it was armor.

Friday came, slow and heavy. On the way home, I opened Instagram, trying to numb myself with endless scrolling. That's when I saw it, a link shared over and over again.

San comments and apologizes for his behavior in a public apology.

My heart lurched. I almost didn't want to click it, but my thumb did it anyway.

⸻

Hello, this is Choi San from Ateez.

With the news that is circulating about me right now, I wish to make a statement. The rumors are false, and I promise that I am not involved with the man in the pictures in any other way than us being acquaintances. I will do my best to regain your trust. I know I have let you all down greatly and I promise it won't happen again. Ateez and Atiny mean the world to me, and I hope my actions won't hurt my fellow members or my family. I hope to see you on our upcoming tour and that we can put this behind us. Again, I am so sorry for disappointing you.

Choi San.

⸻

The words blurred. My vision swam. My chest felt like it was caving in.

I hit my breast with the heel of my palm, trying to breathe, but it just got worse. The sidewalk tilted. My phone slipped from my hands.

"Woo!" a voice shouted.

Arms caught me before I hit the ground. Minho. He was saying something but I couldn't hear it over the ringing in my ears. My whole body shook.

"What the fuck," I heard him mutter, scrolling through my phone with his thumb. "What the actual..."

More voices came, someone swearing, someone saying my name over and over.

"Woo, you have to breathe," Minji said, her voice cutting through the noise, steady and soft.

"I can't," I choked out. "I don't... I don't know what happened. He said he loved me. He said..."

"Let's go home."

I nodded weakly. My legs barely held me up. Minji wrapped her arm around me, and together they got me back to the car.

I didn't leave my bed for days. Time blurred. Food, light, conversation, it all faded. All I could do was stare at the ceiling and try not to think.

But I thought anyway.

How could he do this? How could he just not care? Was it all a lie?

I opened his Instagram. His new post glowed on the screen.

He looked happy.

Was he really happy? Or was it just a mask? I knew him, didn't I? Could he really be okay while I was falling apart?

The battery died in my hands. I didn't bother charging it.

I closed my eyes, curled into myself, and whispered the only thing I could

"Please come back to me."